01/06/2026
To: My older siblings
From: The youngest, who is tired.
I want to thank all of you for paving the way. For studying hard and setting an example that I wanted to follow. For building careers of your own and inspiring me to dream bigger for myself.
Growing up, I always looked up to you. I followed your footsteps, learned from your mistakes, and celebrated your successes as if they were my own.
But sometimes I wonder if you're also thankful to have me as your youngest sibling.
For trying my best to make you proud. For finding my own path and becoming successful in my own way. For staying strong even during the times I felt alone.
Because the truth is, your bunso is tired.
Tired of carrying so much of the family's emotions on my own. Tired of keeping things to myself because I know each of you is already fighting battles I may never fully understand.
Tired of carrying the responsibility of taking care of our parents mostly on my own. Of being the one who is here when they need something. The one who notices when they're worried, when they're getting older, or when they simply need someone around.
I'm tired of being the bridge whenever there is conflict. Of trying to keep the peace when our parents disagree, or when any of you disagree with one another.
Sometimes, I feel like I have to be the strong one because I am the one who is here.
The one who sees what happens at home every day. The one who listens, understands, absorbs, and carries things that are often left unsaid.
And while I do it because I love all of you, there are days when I wish someone would ask how I'm doing too.
Not because I want to complain. Not because I regret helping.
But because sometimes, the youngest child gets tired too.
Tired of always being the one who understands.
Tired of always telling myself, "It's okay, I can handle it."
Tired of carrying things quietly because I don't want to add to anyone else's burden.
I know all of you have your own lives, responsibilities, and struggles. I understand that. Maybe that's why I rarely say anything.
But sometimes, I wish I didn't always have to be the strong one.
Sometimes, I wish I could just be your bunso again.
The one who could run to her older siblings when things felt heavy.
The one who didn't have to figure everything out on her own.
I don't need solutions to every problem. I don't need anyone to fix everything for me.
I just want you to know that behind all the strength you see is someone who gets overwhelmed too.
Someone who worries.
Someone who gets tired.
Someone who still needs her older siblings.
Because no matter how much I've grown, no matter how independent I've become, there are days when I still wish I could lean on all of you the way I used to.
I don't need you to carry my burdens.
I just miss having someone to help me carry them.
-April Vespertine
