Remnants of Her Untold Poetry

Remnants of Her Untold Poetry Spilling inspiration and sadness through Poetry and Proses.

I get hurt whenever I accidentally play music on my phone with my headphones on, unaware that it’s on the maximum volume...
05/03/2025

I get hurt whenever I accidentally play music on my phone with my headphones on, unaware that it’s on the maximum volume.

I get hurt when I walk too fast and don’t notice the corner of the sofa bumped into my little toes.

I get hurt whenever my dog jumps into my stomach or scratches me deeply anywhere in my arms.

I played the music on my phone at maximum volume because I was too excited to listen to the new album of my favorite artist. I walked too fast on the sala because I couldn’t wait to see what my mother had brought home from the market. And lastly, I get jumped by, by my dogs because they missed me from leaving the house.

I get hurt because of my carelessness, but these are all temporary. And I can bear any type of physical pain because it will heal eventually. It may leave a minimal mark, but I am sure I’ll laugh it all in the future. Because I know that those were signs that I was happy at those moments.

But what I can’t fully bear is emotional pain.

It doesn’t leave bruises or scars on my body, yet I unknowingly carry it every single day. And that’s the hardest part of it—there’s no visible weight, but the damage it does is heavier than any physical thing I can carry.

As they say, with time, it will get better. The pain may never fully leave me, and the invisible marks it leaves behind may never fade.

But eventually, I’ll learn to carry it better—and somehow, I’ll learn to live with it.

—April Vespertine

No rain. No Flowers. Rainy days are exhausting. Rainy days leave me questioning myself. Rainy days personifies me, conti...
12/09/2023

No rain. No Flowers.

Rainy days are exhausting.
Rainy days leave me questioning myself.
Rainy days personifies me, continuously pouring the baggage until I run out of rain.

Flowers make me delighted.
Flowers symbolize something beautiful that has grown through sunny and rainy days.
Flowers, no matter what season, are beautiful.

Rainy days are draining.
But soon, flowers will be blooming.
And that’s me hoping.

—April Vespertine

I think I'm broken. I'm still whole and unscarred, but some parts of me are not functioning as they used to be. I am...
18/02/2023

I think I'm broken.

I'm still whole and unscarred,
but some parts of me are not functioning as they used to be.
I am neither happy nor sad.
I'm tired but I don't want to die.

There's so much love in me I want to give and share,
but I am hurt and in pain.
I want to make a progress,
but I can't even start.

I think I am broken in the sense that I am living,
but I don’t feel alive.

Whenever I woke up in the morning,
there was this unexplainable ache in my chest.

Was it from my nightmare last night?
Or was it from the thoughts that were never heard?

When did waking up from the sun rays on my windows
became a hard thing to do?
When did the beautiful sound of the rain
become so cold and lonely?
When did supposedly hopeful dreams become so hue?
When did I become like this?

I think I am broken.
I want to keep moving but I can't.
I don't want to be stuck.
Right here,
where all the heartbreaks in life left me.

—April Vespertine

Whenever we hear the phrase “The moon is beautiful, isn't it?” the word "I love you" immediately comes to our mind. We...
09/10/2022

Whenever we hear the phrase “The moon is beautiful, isn't it?” the word "I love you" immediately comes to our mind.

Well, mostly, for those who can freely express their feelings.

But how about those people that can't admit they love someone because of a particular situation? For an instance, they know they can't receive the same love they want to offer.

“The moon is beautiful, isn't it?” can also mean, admiring that special someone from afar and being contented on witnessing how beautiful that moon is. And just being around them, gives them comfort.

Saying you love someone may vary in different ways. Some can bravely admit it. Some can make a joke about it. Some express their love through a poem. And some choose to stay and keep it a secret. And most of the time when you love someone you want them to be happy even if that happiness is without you.

—April Vespertine

I always try to remind myself that I am loved and blessed despite the circumstances I have. Because that's what people a...
02/06/2022

I always try to remind myself
that I am loved and blessed despite the circumstances I have.
Because that's what people around me told me.

But at the end of the day, I always end up with the question,
“Do I truly feel that I am loved and blessed?
Or am I just making myself believe in fantasy?
Because I never genuinely felt that way."

—April

DREAMS. DREAMS. DREAMS. What are you made of?When I was a child, I was your number 1 fan. Growing up, reaching you was a...
02/06/2022

DREAMS. DREAMS. DREAMS.

What are you made of?

When I was a child, I was your number 1 fan.
Growing up, reaching you was a lot of fun.
Never thought, I could reach this far.
But did I really get that far?

Hoping and believing,
That someday, these dreams would be where I‘ll be living.
But I still need a lot of work to do,
So these dreams would finally come true.

As I reach my 20’s, I struggle and falter
I did not become better
Doing anything would not make me any prouder
What was that, that I missed to be a believer?

My career was a mess,
Life in general, I consider I’m still blessed
But I was always lost, to be honest
Looking back at my unprogressive race.

DREAMS. DREAMS. DREAMS.

Up until now, you’re still a dream.

—April

Turning 25. 10 years ago, dreaming was fun. I never mind the future, because I had a lot of courage in planning and buil...
31/05/2022

Turning 25.

10 years ago, dreaming was fun.
I never mind the future, because I had a lot of courage in planning and building it.
Watching my progress was kinda cute.
Because I appreciated all the efforts I put myself into doing things.
Motivating myself was easy.
Just a stick of ice cream, would make me feel good and smile again.

I made a promise to myself that I would be enjoying life as the years would pass by.
I would appreciate every detail of happiness because life is too short to not notice everything.
I assumed I would be happy by just following what was right in front of me.
And that in the future, I would be happier.

----

But 5 years ago, I was drowned.
Turning 20 was more than a number, it’s a responsibility.

I had a lot of plans for the future.
But I have drowned in the reality that nothing was easy.
Dreaming was just literally dreaming, but awake.
Countless ice cream would not make me feel good nor smile, but sigh.
The music won’t even comfort me.

Planning for the future gets harder.
Motivating myself—- wait, I was not able to motivate myself.
Going through the stage of growing up, makes me always feel like giving up.

In summary, as we grow older, our dreams don’t fade.
It's still inside of us.
But the motivation, happiness, and courage became out of reach.

Turning 25 is great and at the same time, the self-questioning phase.

—April

Am I just making myself believe in a happy fantasy, while I am a mess in reality?—April
10/03/2022

Am I just making myself believe in a happy fantasy, while I am a mess in reality?

—April

Funny how we cry so much about the simplest things before. When we cut our fingers while preparing food or when we don't...
04/02/2022

Funny how we cry so much about the simplest things before. When we cut our fingers while preparing food or when we don't get things we want. Our tears will fall instantly and we will cry loudly like a baby.

Ironically, as we grow older, crying over the things that give us the most pain seems to get harder.

Is it because we got used to crying in silence?

—April

The problem of growing up is that as we age, finding happiness seems to be more complicated.I can remember when I was a...
04/04/2021

The problem of growing up is that as we age, finding happiness seems to be more complicated.

I can remember when I was a child, every time I blow my birthday cake, I mostly wish for material things. I wished for new toys, new school supplies and even delicious food. But as I grew older, my wish for those things faded.

These past few years my wishes and prayers has changed.

My wish for new toys turned into a wish of having genuine people in my life.
My wish for new school supplies turned into a wish for healthier and stable emotional and mental feelings.
And lastly, my wish for delicious food turned into a wish for happier life.

And I thought those were simpler for God to grant since it isn't about money anymore. But actually, it isn't.

--April🍂

Life is about relentless developing. Individuals state that; you won't grow in a place where you are excessively comfort...
27/12/2019

Life is about relentless developing. Individuals state that; you won't grow in a place where you are excessively comfortable. And sometimes, no matter how strong we are, we will always be left unprepared when we meet endings.

Endings appear to be constantly fearsome, yet they are masked in various forms. Some opens new opportunities, meanwhile some closes forever that leaves us speechless.

Regardless of how frightening it is, we shouldn't close our eyes if we meet endings, because good or not, it's everything part of the supposed procedure for our own development.

We will always be unprepared. However, what matters is that, we won't leave ourselves when 'terrible occasions' hits us.

✍️𝓐𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓵

She said, she already got used to the pain. But everytime she sees him, it's another story to get over with again.✍️𝓐𝓹𝓻𝓲...
23/12/2019

She said, she already got used to the pain.
But everytime she sees him,
it's another story to get over with again.

✍️𝓐𝓹𝓻𝓲𝓵
photo source: Pinterest

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