30/08/2026
A child can still love you deeply while slowly learning to dislike themselves because of the way they are spoken to.
Correction is part of parenting. Children need guidance, boundaries, and consequences. But when correction becomes constant criticism, especially criticism of who they are rather than what they did, it can become the voice they eventually use on themselves.
Over time:
“You’re so careless” can become “I can’t do anything right.”
“Why are you always like this?” can become “Something is wrong with me.”
“You’re so difficult” can become “I’m a problem.”
We can correct behavior without attacking a child’s identity.
Try: “What you did wasn’t okay. Let’s talk about what you can do differently next time.”
Our words do more than manage today’s behavior. Repeated often enough, they can become part of a child’s inner voice.
Speak to your child in a way you hope they will one day learn to speak to themselves. ❤️