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I ran out of words, Manila (2026)

03/11/2024

I may lack the gift to compose melodies,
but within these lines lies a tapestry of memories—
each thread woven, a reflection of you,
and though my words don’t always rhyme, they’re true.
I promised myself to savor each joy,
to find calm in the moments, free from life’s ploys.

I’m curious, though, about your untold story,
the chapters hidden, the quiet or glory.
Perhaps one day, when our paths realign,
you’ll let me read the verses of your life line by line.
Or maybe, content, I’ll sing from afar,
serenading the melody of you, my distant star.

Trust is a rare gift, and mine lies with you,
even though clouds shroud the road we pursue.
In a world where hearts break and souls become frail,
I find comfort knowing you’ve weathered the gale.

Like you, I have fears that I keep out of sight,
yet I paint others’ gloom with splashes of light.
It feels like I’ve known you for ages and days,
but time moves strangely, a stretch, then a haze.

So, may I make a small request?
Stay a while longer; let’s share life’s jest.
Perhaps a date or two, nothing fancy or grand,
just sunsets and sea breezes, hand in hand.
Or maybe we’ll wander through town’s winding lanes,
lost in each word, ignoring life’s pains.

Whatever tomorrow brings, let fate decide,
and let’s go along for the unpredictable ride.
Tell me, love, what brings you joy?
Beneath my calm, I’m just a boy—
more blue than red, a quieter soul,
yearning for moments that make me whole.

Would you honor me with a simple date?
Let’s meet by the shore as the hour grows late,
surrounded by sunsets and soft ocean scenes,
lost in the magic of in-between dreams.
And who knows? Perhaps one day we’ll find,
in each other’s presence, a peace that binds.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

Hi, love! How are you? How’s your day? Miss na kita, ng malala—hindi ko na kinakaya. Ayoko namang umabot sa ganito, na magsusulat ako pero hindi na ipaparating sayo. Bakit naman ganun? Ba’t mo tayo hinayaang matapos? Di ba pwedeng ilaban mo ako, kahit konti lang, saglit lang? Kala ko ba mahal mo? Bakit ang aga mo namang bumitaw, ang aga mo namang mawala, bakit ka nagdadalawang-isip kung mahal mo pa?

I didn’t let you go; I’m holding on tight. I want to keep you, but it feels like a fight. I want that future we pictured ahead—I want you by my side in everything we said. I want you there on the day I march, want to call you mine when I start my first job. I want to cook for you, to make that life come true. Andami ko pang gustong gawin—kasama ka pa rin.

Bakit andali mo sakin sabihin na bumitaw na ako? Na nagdesisyon na ko? Paano ko kasi ipapaliwanag na gusto ko pa rin ito, kung ikaw mismo hindi na sigurado? Mahal kita, pero di ko kayang mag-isa, kahit gusto ko sana. Pagod ako, love, pero sayo ko gustong magpahinga.

You see me in your future, that’s what you said. But now you’re gone—just *p**f!* All traces of you, nowhere near my hand. This ending… it was never the plan. Petty arguments, endless comparisons to things long done and gone.

Mahal mo ako, yan ang sabi mo. Taon ang lumipas, hanggang sa nawala na parang bula. Naanod sa agos ng emosyon at pagtimbang sa mga panahong ayaw ko sanang mawala.

Wala. Wala na talaga.

Things have happened as they should. But know this—you still have that cool, untouchable aura I can’t forget. Those sweet lips that speak words you’d do anything to believe. I’m lost, over my head, thinking of what-ifs and what we could’ve been. I wouldn’t call it a waste of time… but, love, here I am, reminiscing.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

The moon is beautiful isn’t it?

It’s really been a while love,
Wanna go out?
Sea?
Coffee?
moon's out, that's our love story.

Old story may seem tragic
Long rides and long walks
Winding up with drinks and foods that we’re both fond of
Stares that’s unbreakable
Kisses that last,
Don’t know how long
Tickles and chills

It’s always the talk,
And I wonder why do I miss it the most?
The “smart-talk” like you always says
Talks that you said no one can imitate

Feelings…
String…

from her book: Her clandestine of thoughts/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

I grow more and more with words,
Wandering through the clouds of this world.
Most say it’s heavenly,
Believe me, I've seen hell through the skies you see.
Whispers in my ear feel like the touch of your lips,
We sat, so still,
Not breaking silence, just until our eyes meet.

You're this ethereal beauty,
With eyes that hold galaxies and kissable lips.
The eagerness to kiss you,
And to stare at you endlessly is stifled by the desire to read your mind,
To dance with the song you sing,
To me, they're all lullaby

I held your hand,
As you rested your head on my shoulder.
You giggled and sighed,

"Can we keep it like this? Just, us. like this"

I smiled,
But I was lost for words.
You know I usually ran out of them, but,

"I know you'd keep this forever, you write. you always re-live memories. you've always pocketed every picture of us. I know." you said.

I just couldn't think of anything to say,
You just got me covered and somehow relayed the voice in my head.

As I was reminiscing,
It became somehow vague.
I can't remember the face,
I couldn't tell whose voice,
But I felt the warmth,
I felt every heartbeat.

It's a happy memory, isn't it?
Somehow, it saddens me,
Somehow, it doesn't feel real.
Was it a dream?

from her book: Her clandestine of thoughts/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

This past few nights, I've been sleepless.

Days are getting tiring, and I can't find my comfort. my solace.
It's been tough, I really hope that this leads somewhere, somewhat I can hold onto. I have wished, that this undeniably misunderstanding may find it suits.

I have been thinking, of what I can and should do. For one, every single word, thoughts and what if's should come out. Followed by controlled argument but with free of judgment conversations. Before this all, I already messed up. I've been perfectionist, know-it-all person that has nothing to prove and met a girl that almost as if she's my mirror.

Last night, I've been trying to think of all the grotesque characters.memories that you deplete this fondness that you engrave in mind. I started with songs, that might ruin our rhythm. I followed it by thoughts, that could distort the imagery that we shared. I then proceeded to every writings that I wrote, you, being the subject of my piece.

But all of them vanished. I heard your voice at the back of my head, saying that you love me, that you're missing me, that you're lucky that i've got to be me. I heard your tiny voice, asking for kisses. Rushing towards me, with arms wide open. I open my eyes and the trace of your smile flashes, I heard your giggles as you play with my fingers.

No, you weren't messing my mind. You're most beautiful, and it serves as light.

I've been humming a song from few weeks back, it reminds me how we had our magical night.

"I take one step, away
and I found myself coming back, to you
My one and only,
one and only you"

At the shore we sat, light bulbs were lit. Sea breeze are cold to skin, starry night is our masterpiece.

That song played, the light went out and leaves us with the glimpse of stars. We were sitting side by side, and you touched my chin and turn into your direction.

You kissed me once,
You kissed me slow
It was passionate
But it was bold

I catch my breath as the light turns on.

We burst into laughter, as if we just steal kiss from the crowd and I think we just did.

My sleepless nights are full of you, memories that are made, and memories I dreamt of seeing, with you. No, they don't make me sad, they make me ponder and moreof, realize.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

alam kong kumplikado ako.

sa bawat araw na nag daan,
sa bawat salita't tingin ng mga taong lumipas at dumaan

mga emosyong hindi ko pa nadidiskubre,
at mga pakiramdam na ayaw ko ng makitang muli.

mga matang mabilis manghusga,
mga balikat na mahirap sandalan kaso nga lang,
wala akong magawa,
kung kaya'y kinakaya lahat ng mag isa.

masyado akong kumplikado,
yan ang laging sambit ng mga nakakakilala at nakakabangga ko.

pilit binabago ang sarili,
wag nyo namang masamain dahil lang sa mabagal ang usad sa daan na aking pinili.

sa kung paano mag isip,
sa kung paano dapat kumilos at kumilatis,
binabago lahat, halos pati pananamit.
ayaw ko namang sabihing di nyo naiintindihan,
baka bumalik lang saakin ang katagang,

"pare-parehas tayo ng pinag dadaanan."

marahil para sa inyo,
ang pagiging kumplikado ay naka kahon

sa isang madilim na sulok,
sa apat na kwadradong parisukat nakakulong
na kung bubuwagin at kakawala ay madaling makakabangon

hindi tayo magkatulad,
ng kagandahan at kapusukang nais pagtakpan.

ako'y hamak lang na nahihirapan sa takbo ng mundo,
nagpupumiglas, nagmamadaling makasabay sa karerang hindi ko naman ginusto.

alam kong magulo ako,
hindi ko naman hinangad na maintindihan ng mga tao, o ng mundo.

ang nais ko lamang ay maglakad at hanapin ang lugar ko,
maglayag sa mga isla at baybaying gusto ko.

ang nais ko lang namang sabihin,
hayaan nyo nalang akong maging ako.
ibaon nyo na lamang yang mga opinyon nyo, para sa inyo.

kumplikado ako, pero alam kong maaayos ko ang takbo ng sarili kong buhay at mundo. alam ko.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

“Get us back to where we stopped,”
To that place where time slipped quietly,
Where laughter and whispers filled the air,
And our hearts spoke in an unbroken rhythm.

Take us back to that moment suspended,
When words weren't needed,

Where silence was a song
And every glance, a promise we both understood.

Let's rewind to that quiet space,
Before doubt cast its shadow,

Before words we didn't mean became walls,
And before the pauses grew heavy with what we left unsaid.

Bring me back to the warmth we shared,
Where your hand in mine felt like home.

Let's find our way to that gentle spark,
To pick up where we left off,
And let our story breathe anew.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

No, I hardly speak of words
That might echo disappointment or feel unreal.
But I remember writing poems,
Each one a tribute to your beauty,
Stretched over the canvas of my thoughts.

From the very first moment I laid my eyes on you,
You engraved yourself in my heart,
A mark that time couldn't fade,
For years, I’ve clung to that memory,
A secret I carry with tenderness.

In the quiet of my mind,
Your essence blooms like a flower,
Each petal a memory,
Every stanza a reminder
Of the light you brought into my life.

Though silence may wrap around my words,
The beauty of you will forever echo,
A silent sonnet sung in my heart,
A love letter written in the ink of my soul.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

I do not want another chance with you

I don’t long for fresh starts or skies brand new.
No wish to trace back the paths we paved,
to light old sparks or the moments we saved.

Our days together, their weight still strong,
but I won’t look back or sing that song.
This heart does not seek to undo or renew,
only to hold what’s gone, and let it stay true.

I don’t wanna move on from the romance
For that would mean cutting a binding dance,
to sever the strings that wove us tight,
the thread that held us through day and night.

How could I let go of each whispered call,
the times when our breaths were one, after all?
I hold to that bond, fragile but real,
unbroken by distance, untouched by steel.

I don’t wanna kiss you another goodbye
Each farewell burned, yet I’d never deny
the shiver and silence of one last embrace,
leaving my soul in that empty space.

Another goodbye would tear me apart,
splinter the pieces I’m learning to start.
Once was enough, more than I could bear—
no need to sever what lingers there.

And I’m way open to see you with someone
It frees me, oddly, to see you won—
to witness your light in another’s smile,
even though it may hurt for a while.

If they give you the joy I couldn’t reach,
I’d stand by and watch, silent in speech.
If love’s true lesson is setting one free,
then let it be them who finds you by sea or by tree.

Losing you was painful, unbearable at points
Some days, my chest bruised, bones out of joint,
nights where the ache felt sharp, like a stone,
pressing down in a weight all my own.

I’d call to the silence, wish you were near,
yet somehow learned to hold the fear.
With time, the pain dulled, edges grew round,
and I learned to live with what I’d found.

But what does this body do?
What can these hands now reach or pursue?
Once they traced your skin, held you tight,
now they grasp at air in the deep of night.

I am left with this frame, frail and alone,
with memories lingering, carved into bone.
All I can do is carry what’s here,
and let it move forward, shed the last tear.

Apart from seeing you drift away, fall
I watched you, helpless, beyond my call.
Like a leaf in the wind, a boat set to sail,
our story faded like ink gone pale.

Once, we were pages woven as one,
but you’ve drifted beyond where my reach is done.
So I let you go, loose from my line,
and let life decide what it leaves behind.

Life must go on, that’s how it should be
Life pulls us forward, wild and free,
and though I carry you, light and near,
in places that hold what once was dear.

I’ll step ahead, breathe and stand,
knowing love was here, held my hand.
Though I let you go, piece by piece,
I find myself whole, finding peace.

/notyourwriterrezzi

03/11/2024

Old love once filled me with butterflies,
put a smile on my face, a tear in my eyes.
It was a curve that held for so long,
showing me love, how life felt strong.

Roses and sweets,
holding hands and gentle heat,
a tenderness almost too real to bear,
loving you was more than I could wear.

They say first love never dies; I'd say it’s true—
I can never deny what I felt with you.
Hearts broke, yes, but hate never stayed;
we parted ways, dreams calling each in their shade.
And as time moved on, I saw it clear:
you were my first love, my greatest cheer.

You taught me emotions, both joy and regret,
sailing through storms I’ll never forget.

The second love was a shadow, wanting to lead me back,
only to haunt me with regrets that stacked.
Remorse for a future that could not take root,
no matter the efforts, no matter the pursuit.

Then, a third time, I was led astray,
drawn by beauty, though not in your way.
She made me feel the butterflies I’d lost,
and I thought, “Could love have found me, whatever the cost?”

But it was clear, I was playing with fire,
never intending to get burned by desire.
I was blind to her games, her layered disguise,
a ma*****st pull hidden behind pretty lies.
No heartbreak came from that hollow scene;
I was just longing for something—maybe you, unseen.

And then, as if by fate’s strange design,
our paths crossed once more, your hand close to mine.
This time, we stayed friends and nothing more,
a mutual respect, settled to the core.

With clarity we cleared old debris,
leaving behind what held us, setting us free.

/notyourwriterrezzi

31/10/2024

alam kong kumplikado ako.

sa bawat araw na nag daan,
sa bawat salita't tingin ng mga taong lumipas at dumaan

mga emosyong hindi ko pa nadidiskubre,
at mga pakiramdam na ayaw ko ng makitang muli,

mga matang mabilis manghusga,
mga balikat na mahirap sandalan kaso nga lang,

wala akong magawa,

masyado akong kumplikado,
yan ang laging sambit ng mga nakakakilala at nakakabangga ko.

pilit binabago ang sarili,
wag nyo namang masamain dahil lang sa mabagal ang usad sa daan na aking pinili.

sa kung paano mag isip,
sa kung paano dapat kumilos at kumilatis,
binabago lahat, halos pati pananamit.
ayaw ko namang sabihing di nyo naiintindihan,
baka bumalik lang saakin ang katagang,

"pare-parehas tayo ng pinag dadaanan."

marahil para sa inyo,
ang pagiging kumplikado ay naka kahon

sa isang madilim na sulok,
sa apat na kwadradong parisukat nakakulong
na kung bubuwagin at kakawala ay madaling makakabangon

hindi tayo magkatulad,
ng kagandahan at kapusukang nais pagtakpan.

ako'y hamak lang na nahihirapan sa takbo ng mundo,
nagpupumiglas, nagmamadaling makasabay sa karerang hindi ko naman ginusto.

alam kong magulo ako,
hindi ko naman hinangad na maintindihan ng mga tao, o ng mundo.

ang nais ko lamang ay maglakad at hanapin ang lugar ko,
maglayag sa mga isla at baybaying gusto ko.

ang nais ko lang namang sabihin,
hayaan nyo nalang akong maging ako.
ibaon nyo na lamang yang mga opinyon nyo, para sa inyo.

kumplikado ako, pero alam kong maaayos ko ang takbo ng sarili kong buhay at mundo. alam ko.

/notyourwriterrezzi

29/10/2024

This past few nights, I've been sleepless.

Days are getting tiring, and I can't find my comfort. my solace.
It's been tough, I really hope that this leads somewhere, somewhat I can hold onto. I have wished, that this undeniably misunderstanding may find it suits.

I have been thinking, of what I can and should do. For one, every single word, thoughts and what if's should come out. Followed by controlled argument but with free of judgment conversations. Before this all, I already messed up. I've been perfectionist, know-it-all person that has nothing to prove and met a girl that almost as if she's my mirror.

Last night, I've been trying to think of all the grotesque characters.memories that you deplete this fondness that you engrave in mind. I started with songs, that might ruin our rhythm. I followed it by thoughts, that could distort the imagery that we shared. I then proceeded to every writings that I wrote, you, being the subject of my piece.

But all of them vanished. I heard your voice at the back of my head, saying that you love me, that you're missing me, that you're lucky that i've got to be me. I heard your tiny voice, asking for kisses. Rushing towards me, with arms wide open. I open my eyes and the trace of your smile flashes, I heard your giggles as you play with my fingers.

No, you weren't messing my mind. You're most beautiful, and it serves as light.

I've been humming a song from few weeks back, it reminds me how we had our magical night.

"I take one step, away
and I found myself coming back, to you
My one and only,
one and only you"

At the shore we sat, light bulbs were lit. Sea breeze are cold to skin, starry night is our masterpiece.

That song played, the light went out and leaves us with the glimpse of stars. We were sitting side by side, and you touched my chin and turn into your direction.

You kissed me once,
You kissed me slow
It was passionate
But it was bold

I catch my breath as the light turns on.

We burst into laughter, as if we just steal kiss from the crowd and I think we just did.

My sleepless nights are full of you, memories that are made, and memories I dreamt of seeing, with you. No, they don't make me sad, they make me ponder and moreof, realize.

I ran out of words

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

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03/11/2024

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

03/11/2024

31/10/2024

29/10/2024

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