Poetic M.D.

08/03/2026

Lung Cancer is the number one cause of cancer-specific mortality which affects both men and women, and although the mean age of diagnosis is around 61.6 years and 52.6 years respectively, the younger population is not spared from the disease.

Even though smoking remains the leading cause of lung cancer, this disease entity can also happen even among non-smokers.

Keeping your lungs healthy through smoking cessation, and avoidance of secondhand smoke and environmental exposures could significantly help in its prevention.

If with significant risk factor and family history early detection thru a low dose chest CT scan is key to prevent significant morbidity and to improve survival outcomes.

Being aware of possible lung cancer symptoms: persistent cough, blood when you spit, trouble breathing, loss of appetite, easy fatigability should warrant an immediate consult with your physician.

Together we can fight lung cancer, together we can be the answer.

15/02/2025

“I love you, I’m sorry, I forgive you and goodbye”

My current mentor mentioned that during her palliative care training, she was taught that there are four phrases a dying person needs to say before passing away.

As doctors, we witness patients on their final days. Sometimes, even without the support of inotropes or mechanical ventilation, they seem to be holding on. Despite having loved ones and relatives at their bedside, they often seem unable to let go.

My mentor mentioned that part of the reason might be that they haven't said these words to the important people in their lives

“ I love you…
“ I’m sorry…
“ I forgive you…
“ Goodbye….”

And I just realized that if the dying cannot say these words, perhaps it is up to the living to say them.

Perhaps if the living can let go, the dying will also find peace in letting go.

— Poetic M.D

26/05/2024

“Ready na kami kung mawala sya,” the husband said angrily.

Her wife had two cancer, she survived the breast cancer, but later on developed ovarian cancer which led into many complications. In her last few days in the hospital, she was with her husband and daughter. During rounds, her husband would always remarked in an unkind manner. He would comment like, “parang wala naman ginagawa sa kanya,” or “bakit ganyan pa rin nangyayari sa kanya”.

One day, while her wife was awake and was listening to our questions and discussions with regards the current management, he said angrily “ready na kami kung mawala sya”, and he remained silent afterwards. Initially we might think what a harsh way of saying that in front of her wife, because would anyone be really ready for the lost of a loved one?

One thing I’ve learned in life is that sometimes anger is just a mask of a heart that is actually in pain. He always appeared angry and ungrateful. But he was always there beside her wife every time we made rounds, he would stood up to attend her simple needs. And at the back of my mind, I thought maybe it was his way of coping with the overwhelming feelings he has especially in knowing that his wife will soon passed away.

And so whenever I encounter someone who appears to be always angry, I’d think that maybe it’s just really a mask of a hurting heart. And when things are just beyond of what I could offer, I also remain silent and I pray to God to comfort his heart.

-Poetic M.D.

04/02/2024

In my second year as a pre-med student, our teacher in Human Developmental Milestone taught us about the Theory of Personality by Erik Erikson.

Erikson formulated eight life-stages with its own “virtues”. The eight stage is known as the Integrity vs Despair, with having wisdom as its virtue- those who are ages 65 and above fall on this stage. According to Erikson the existential crisis in this last stage is either the individual might view their life experiences as accomplished hence developing the sense of integrity or they may end up with feelings of regret and might end up being in the stage of despair which may lead into depression and hopelessness.

I am reminded by my two patients, a husband and wife ages 66 and 67 respectively who came in for general check-up. The husband mentioned that they had been retired for 6-7 years now, and now just stays at home. The husband spend more than half of his lifetime as an overseas worker and his wife used to work as a registrar.

The wife has loss of appetite for a month now although diagnostic work up showed unremarkable findings. On probing she also mentioned that she had loss interest with everything, unable to sleep at night and feels tired all the time. She doesn’t know what causes it since she’s just at home.

It reminded me of Erikson’s Theory, the patient being a 67 year old is probably having a despair. I told her that it would be better to seek a consult with a Psychiatrist to which she feels surprised but at the same time seems to be eager to do so.

His husband said that as elderlies, they don’t know what else to do now that they are retired, and their children have their work and own family as well.

“Puwede nyo po simulan sa mga bagay na mukhang kaya po nila, katulad ng paglabas labas po ng bahay, punta po kayo ng mall kung gusto nyo...”

I once read that we younger ones always thought that the elder ones should know everything in life already, and we fail to grasp the thought that it is their first time living this life too. So, even when they are older, truth be told they may still feel at loss as well.

May we be granted patience and kindness with older people, especially with our parents. Because in between hues of this life, this is their first time living this life too.

08/01/2024

I found myself reading on spinal cord, and I am reminded by my patient, a young adult male who suffered from triplegia, meaning he cannot move both of his lower extremities and his left upper extremity anymore.
His case is quite challenging aside from the fact that his presentation was really acute and his review of systems were generally unremarkable.
But I am reminded more of how despite his condition he remained optimistic. Imagine he continues his studies even during his confinement with his only preserved right upper extremity, he continues to take down notes from his learning during zoom classes. He would always smile during our rounds and remain patient and would always say thank you.

And I realized that as doctors, we also take inspiration from our patients. We are inspired to do more and be more. Despite the odds, and countless of struggles in between; sometimes it’s the patient who saves the doctor.

--Poetic M.D

10/12/2023

There are days where I look back and still can’t believe of where I am now. Of all that happened before I ended up here, of the bumpy roads I’ve walked, heavy rains I went through, and nights I’ve endured? I never thought living a life as calm and purposeful as this would be possible. Sometimes when I look back I still can’t figure out how I made it. I still can’t believe how I can just lay down here and watch the skies. How I can feel so secure with my people. How I can laugh, dance, sing. Share, teach, dream. I still get hit by the fact that I’m living the life I thought was too good to be true.

I know there’s still a long way to go. There’s a lot more storms to face. I believe, though, that where I am now is not the best place to be forever but the best place to be at the moment. I refuse to move back and look too far ahead. This time, I’ll be here. In this moment. Making the most out of every second.

—Ali
Artwork by (IG)

10/12/2023

The year is coming to an end, and this post if for everyone who had lost a loved one this year.
We never knew that this kind of visceral and aching pain ever really existed until we lost our loved one- as if your heart is being crushed in a way you could not describe.
And the grief just really come in waves, at times it feels calm and you feel okay, then something reminds you of them and the waves of sadness and grief starts to find its way. I don’t think we will ever get away with these waves, but it is also not good to allow ourselves to get drown.
I don’t think that we will ever move on with the loss of a loved one, but that doesn’t mean we cannot move forward. We will move forward, because that is the only direction God has given us; and just because they are gone doesn’t mean we can’t take them with us.
We can still take our memories of them with us wherever we may go. We can take them with our achievements, with our aspirations, with everything in between.
We will find comfort in knowing they are in a better place, just waiting for us. And until then we must do our best to lead a good life, to reach a good end. The wound left by their departure will surely not mend, but we can take the pain as our friend. After all, this world is just as temporary as the pain and grief we are feeling. Indeed, to God we all belong, to Him we shall all return.
We miss you Papa every single day. I’ll see you smiling in between the waves of each seas. We will always pray. I’ll see you walking towards us under the tall and green trees.
May God elevate your status in heaven. Ameen

—Poetic M.D

24/10/2023

“Sorry po doctora, kalalaki kong tao umiiyak po ako.”

One afternoon during my outpatient clinic I had a 53 year-old male patient who came in due to episodes of palpitations which he experienced for almost a year now. He has no other comorbids, and no maintenance medications. He mentioned that he notices it during activity, but resolves at rest. However, he also related that it could just be an anxiety, that’s when he suddenly cried and apologized.

He said that ever since his wife got sick this year and became weak due to a heart condition, he was the one who had been taking care of their home. He quitted his job, and had commited himself in taking care of his wife and his disabled son. He has two children and the elder one serves as the breadwinner for them.

And for him everything seems so heavy. He also has no money. He feels hopeless and anxious about everything, about their health, about his family.

We don’t usually get to see an adult male who would cry in front of you and share his burden.
And I told him it’s okay to cry, because before he was a father, and a male, he is first a human being filled with emotions too. It also takes a great deal of courage to cry in front of a stranger, and told him that as a doctor I’ve cried a lot of times too. I told him, “Sir okay lang pong umiyak, kahit po ako umiiyak din.”

Just like how heavy clouds are in the sky, sometimes relief comes in by letting out waters to fall. My mentor also told be not to be shy or even apologetic when one feels like crying, because strong people cried.

The world we are living at the moment gives us so many reasons to cry especially if one also considers how poor the health care delivery system of our country; us doctors could only do as much.

It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be not okay at times. But we have to promise ourselves that we will move on, we will be stronger and we will get through the storm.

Have faith.

—Poetic M.D

Musings of a Medical Doctor

31/08/2023

“Just because it’s stormy now doesn’t mean you aren’t headed towards sunshine.”

This is for the people who feel like the world is turning its back against them. For the people who deem that sunshine is out of reach. For the people who have cried with their lonely hearts thinking if the path they are walking upon will truly lead them to their dream destination. For the people who have suffered. For the people who have lost motivation and will each passing day. For those who are exhausted. For those who feel battered. For those who have lived in the darkest night.
This is for you. This is for me. As we are all in a stormy path.
But just because it's stormy doesn't mean we aren't all headed for sunshine. Have faith, that someday it will all makes sense. Have courage, for it is only in the darkest night that stars shine more brilliantly. Have patience, for in patience success awaits. Have hope, for we were made for these times.
This is for you. This is for me. For we are all in a stormy path and we are all headed for sunshine.

—Poetic M.D

29/08/2023

Sometimes we believe in ourselves, because someone believes in us.

—Poetic M.D

Musings of a Medical Doctor

26/08/2023

Every day during ward rounds with my mentor, I would find him telling our patients these words “you will be alright" and he would either hold their hand or even gently touch their head before leaving their sight.
And I would see comfort in the eyes of those patients whenever they hear those words. True to the credo of medicine, we may not always cure or extend someone's life, but we need to comfort always. And sometimes we find comfort in words.
I thought that phrase encompasses what we also needed to hear in our everyday life, because we know too well that life can be hard.
And sometimes, we wonder whether things will be better, or if we will get to where we should be. But then I'd realized that although there is no certainty in life, and that there is no guaranteed time frame as to when things will be alright despite our effort, we still need to give our best shot and give ourselves the best fighting chance- to get better, to be more, to be whoever we wanted to be.
Because the possibility of being alright will always be there, and as cliche as it may sound just because we are going through storms doesn't mean we are not heading towards sunshine.
So no matter what you are going through right now, whether it's a struggle on your own or a battle you have been fighting for so long, calm yourself, tap your heart, and tell yourself that "i will be alright"- that things will be better tomorrow, and even if on the next day it won't, tell again yourself the same words "i will be alright", because at some point you will.
Just keep going, don't worry too much, deeply breathe in, and if no one told you yet, “dear, you, too, will be alright.”

-Poetic M.D.

Musings of a Medical Doctor