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16/01/2022

Perhaps you owe
yourself to try
To feel the tension
of the surface
in the world
we are in
To take a leap
in a cliff
greater than your fears
To embrace
your body
to the reality
an image
painted as if it suits
everyone well
Allow yourself
to make mistakes
For at the end of the day,
no matter how bad
it may have turned out,
You still tried.

-- A.

I'm a little late, but I just wanted to say hello. I've been taking a break from writing for a few months now, and I'm g...
09/01/2022

I'm a little late, but I just wanted to say hello. I've been taking a break from writing for a few months now, and I'm getting back into it. This time, the page will be more of a diary than just a collection of my finished poetry works. Its purpose has always been clear from the start, which is why it was created. I'll do my best to stay as active as possible. Aside from the fact that it takes me days or hours to complete a piece or months to think of what to write about, I am constantly worried about my work. I have a tendency to overthink the possibility that my piece will not meet the standards of some, when it shouldn't be dependent on how others will read it in the first place. Every piece was written from the heart, and that should suffice. No more crowd-pleasing this 2022.

May this year give us all the strength we need to move forward. Many of us use this time of the year to begin a new hobby or a journey towards better health; while some succeed, others give up throughout the year. Whatever you are, may you always remember that while the new year may be a good time to start something, change can happen on any day of the year as long as you take consistent steps to make it happen. Don't be upset if you make mistakes along the way that cause you to fall short of your goal because as cliché as it may sound, progress is never linear.

While for our baguettes out there who were too lazy, or perhaps unmotivated, to begin or even do something and are worried that they will be different than how most people do their thing during the New Year, I'm here to tell you all that rest is just as important as the tasks you crossed off your list last year. That recharge will undoubtedly boost something in you, so take as much time as you require!

As we close the chapters of 2021, may we take with us all the learnings we gain from it in 2022. Let us all hope that this year will finally bring us freedom from the rails of pandemic.

Happy New Year Everyone! 💚 -A.

after a love that has failed,we often sworethat we will avoid gettingour heart bailedthen there comes someoneknocking th...
09/07/2021

after a love that has failed,
we often swore
that we will avoid getting
our heart bailed
then there comes someone
knocking through the door
fears come rushing in,
what ifs became a hymn

"one last try" She said for the nth.

she went out of bed
wore something red
she started picking
sparks of hope

this is a new day
may this one
never fail
like how it was
yesterday
please stay

---A.
Art by: Kelsey Smith (Ig: amidst.silence)

If you'll ask me if I still mourn over the same love that ripped me off into pieces, I'd probably say no. I might say th...
09/07/2021

If you'll ask me if I still mourn over the same love that ripped me off into pieces, I'd probably say no. I might say that I'm way better this time without him or that I'm seeing myself finally showing some signs of acceptance. But the truth is, behind the walls I've built to protect myself, I still get sad whenever his name pops right into my screen--maybe sharing posts with a new girl, trying to ask myself "Is she better? Am I not enough?" I still cry whenever his favourite song comes along and I can't help but remember how he sang every line as if it was made for me. I still think of him whenever I see something funny or if something made me sad during the day. I still wonder if we are given a chance someday to make everything better and he's back, am I going to give him another chance?

After everything I pondered on, I realized that it's okay. It's okay that I still mourn over the same love that left me shattered. It's okay if I get sad whenever I see him with a new someone in his life because it hurts at first but soon I will be able to bear it wholeheartedly that maybe we are meant for someone else and not for each other. It's okay if I still cry over a memory with him because after all, it has been a great ride and those memories don't matter if it didn't made me happy but it did so it's still something worth being treasured. It's okay if I still wonder of him being back because even if we didn't worked out, he will always hold this special place somewhere in my heart. It's okay to take things slow and to go on my own pace--moving on, was never a race. So go on, mourn over the same love; take every time you need; cope up just like how you wanted things to be; shower yourself with some love to be whole again; because soon everything's gonna be okay. It won't be an easy road but it will all be worth it, I promise.

---A.
Artwork by: Cris Valencia (via instagram: cris_valencia)

You have been dying to give me the galaxy when I'm just looking for the brightest star that my eyes could reach.You have...
09/07/2021

You have been dying to give me the galaxy when I'm just looking for the brightest star that my eyes could reach.

You have been offering the whole ocean when I'm just out walking by the shore collecting some seashells.

Giving your all is ideal, but it isn't always necessary. You may have wanted to shower me with all the love you could ever offer, but the love I need can't be found from anything nor anyone. The love I need is from myself and nothing could ever fill that missing piece--not even you.

---A.
Artwork by: tearofnight on Ig

Sa muling pagsapit ng umaga, hindi na pangalan mo ang unang naaalalaInit ng mga yakap natin ay unti unti nang nanlamigTa...
09/07/2021

Sa muling pagsapit ng umaga, hindi na pangalan mo ang unang naaalala
Init ng mga yakap natin ay unti unti nang nanlamig
Tamis ng ngiti at halik na iginagawad ay nagsimula nang pumait
Paulit ulit na kinabisadong timpla ng paborito mong kape ay hindi na matansya
Paraan kung paano mo gustong inaayos ko ang iyong kurbata ay hindi na maitama

Takot
Tayo nga siguro ay natatakot
Na baka sa dilim na dulot ng gabi tayo ay maanod at tuluyang mabulag
Na baka sa pagdating ng hatinggabi ay kakailanganin na nating magdesisyon kung pipiliin pa rin ba ang maging magkasama sa malamig na gabi o ang bagong simula na magkalayo sa muling pagsapit ng umaga

---A.
Larawan ni Aestheticoloji (IG)

One thing you should know about me is that I’m scared of opened windows at night. I don’t know when or how it started bu...
09/07/2021

One thing you should know about me is that I’m scared of opened windows at night. I don’t know when or how it started but I’ve always hated its uncertainty. Maybe I’m scared because I tend to overthink that a stranger might sneak his ways in and hurt me. This might be a silly thing for others but trust me, it kept me wide awake and crying for several nights in my entire life. Everything changed when you risked your way and asked if I can let you in. I admit that at first, I was hesitant for the feeling you gave was unfamiliar; It was very gentle yet secured. I never felt it before and so I was cautious. Your existence made me feel that those uncertain and extremely terrifying windows won’t take me anywhere but a safe haven in your arms. You never forced me to open my windows but instead, you patiently stayed beside me and held my hand to let me know that you are always with me in the journey of overcoming my fears.

Until one night, after several days of trying, I was finally able to open my windows and decided to let you enter. I was mesmerized to see the view you showed me. There was comfort found in the middle of the dark skies and glimmering stars as if it was all shining just to greet me that night.

It has been two years since the day you left for good and joined him above. I was blessed by an angel and no words can ever define how thankful I am that he has once given me you. Maybe you introduced me the starry night for it will forever remind me of you, and how we conquered everything together. Love, I want you to know that from then on, my windows remained open just in case you decided to come over and visit me in my dreams; Know that I’ll be waiting for you beside my window, with my arms wide open, and I will always welcome you in.

---A.
Artwork by: Giulia Rosa (IG: )

Aaminin ko, na sa tuwing binabanggit mo ang pangalan niya habang tayo ang magkasama ay sumasakit pa rin ang dibdib ko. K...
29/01/2021

Aaminin ko, na sa tuwing binabanggit mo ang pangalan niya habang tayo ang magkasama ay sumasakit pa rin ang dibdib ko. Kung tutuusin ay dapat may galak sa puso ko, dahil unti-unti
mo nang natatanggap na ang landas niyo ay magkaiba; at ang pagbigkas ng ngalan niya ay gabay mo na sa mga yapak palayo. Sinisiguradong maigi na hindi na muli maliligaw pabalik sa kanya. Pero aaminin ko, nasasaktan pa rin ako dahil sa tagal na nanatili ako sa tabi mo ay malayo pa rin mangyari na mabigkas ang pangalan ko karugtong ng iyo.

--fifth
Photo by tearofnight

No matter how sad it is to think that we are all bound to take separate ways eventually, we must also think that we are ...
04/01/2021

No matter how sad it is to think that we are all bound to take separate ways eventually, we must also think that we are not standing on the same circumstances in life. Just like how flowers have several environmental factors to consider for it to grow and bloom, an individual may also have a number of things to think about before coming up to a decision of where he would like to settle.

I have always admired how brave these people are to endure walking away from what they previously loved. The idea of leaving something you think does not work for you is not always a guaranteed ticket to a wonderland of success nor a sure path for growth. Entering something that is unfamiliar and uncertain can be terrifying especially for a person that is not used to taking risks and being alone. A new home may unexpectedly be worse than the ones you left but you can always start over and find another one which suits you best—it is not as easy as how it seems but if you were able to conquer it once, then I believe you can do it again.

I won’t say that you should just live through it and should try to adjust because it does not work that way every single time. There will be situations wherein the environment is the problem and the best way to resolve it is not to romanticize resiliency but rather, to take courage and save yourself from it. Choosing a new path may either make or break you but I genuinely hope that it doesn’t scare you from opting for change.

There was this one quote I have read that says “we must not be afraid to start over because this time you will not be starting from scratch, you are starting from experience” and I think it’s a good mantra that is applicable in different aspects of love and life. So If ever I get to see you someday walking on the streets of whatever place or country, I hope to see you happy, whether you’re still staying on where I first found you, still healing before transferring or you finally chose to be on a new one, know that I am very proud of you and that I am with you in every step of the way.

---A.
Photo by tearofnight on Ig

And I choose to be with you on my darkest days; days when I get beaten up by the sadness that devours my soul; nights wh...
03/01/2021

And I choose to be with you on my darkest days; days when I get beaten up by the sadness that devours my soul; nights when even I can't explain what haunts my heart; afternoons when I am too exhausted to pull everything together.

Holding your hand, waiting for the raging waves to come to me. I will never get fazed for I know, that as long as I am with you, some gleam will eventually slip in--because you are my light, my sunshine on a cloudy morning, the daisy in a deck of thorns, my daybreak after a devastating storm, you are everything and any-cheesy-thing-I-could-name-you.

It's a shame, that I can never promise that those dark days will end soon.

It will be our toughest among the other days. It won't have a happy ever after written on every last page. There will be no rainbows with a pot of gold after. It can either drown us till we both sink deep down the narrow ocean or teach us to swim back to the shore.

I just hope that you keep choosing me, even after those days.

---A.
Artwork from: Ig: giuliajrosa

This was written 2-3 years ago hehe and since I value growth here and this is my free space, let me share this piece with you 😅

Between us is a phrase we refused to talk about. A phrase that could have been the first line in the story of how we met...
02/01/2021

Between us is a phrase we refused to talk about. A phrase that could have been the first line in the story of how we met and made love for the rest of our lives. We knew from the start that we can never be that phrase; Ours was nothing but an incomplete idea, a strange streak of thought. It was a phrase that we didn't know either when to begin nor end - or if it actually make sense. Whatever it is I'm glad, for I am standing on the same phrase with you and that is the only thing that matters.

--- A.
Photo by: tearofnight on IG

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