31/05/2023
The night is so dark. The leaves are whooshing and I can’t sleep just because the wind makes me chill and freeze. I am cold and I am stuck in a place where no one is going to help me. I am lost and have nothing to eat. Cuddling my own self while battling the heavy rains that hit my naked body. I am neglected, displaced and ignored. I am not used to it. If there's a question that I need to ask myself, it would be, “Can you still bear it?” I know that I am strong, but past traumas hit me so hard and I can’t handle how to deal with them. I am all alone fighting these battles that I don’t deserve. Being casted out by so many; being taken advantage of; being a puppet; being a rebound; and being an option. I carry thể heartaches for so long and the story of struggles which I, myself, only know. The perfect timing doesn’t cooperate with me for some time,
because when I am being ignored and left out, there will be another cross to carry which causes me to surrender and become weak. How can I escape from this kind of misery? Last night, an angel visited my dream. She was one of my favorite people because from the day we met, I felt the warm embrace and acceptance. She told me that I needed to be patient because time would put a plot twist to all my burdens and give answers to all my problems. The realization that hit me so much as the time she spoke was, the most important people in our lives make us weak and fragile in order for us to experience that true meaning of pain and it’s up to us how we carry ourselves after being rejected and shattered. And for me, maybe, if patience is no longer the answer, and also begging though, it is time to renew yourself from despair and appraise yourself to make it more valuable enough. Nothing more, nothing less and that’s enough. Just say hello to the new YOU.