This Comic Does Not Exist

12/03/2024

The discovery that consciousness exists as an epiphenomenal ectoplasmic energy was a huge boon for fuel companies worldwide. Residue of consciousness from the dead seeps into the earth, creating what some have called a literal “underworld” where pockets of this “spirit energy” exist, ready to mined and sold as fuel. Pioneers of this new clean energy source made their discovery through deciphering the Forbidden Ever-Changing maps, documents that seemingly look different each time they are observed.
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12/03/2024

Sometimes you read very smart books
With very compelling arguments
That a better world is possible and worth fighting for
That there are powerful people doing very bad things
But then after reading the book
The statistics, case studies, and arguments
Melt away
Into ooze and all your left with is
An anger, despair, and inadequacy
You struggle to put it back into words
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05/03/2024

Party Parrot Part Two. When we last saw Party Parrot, he was losing his battle against the Sedimentary Beast. This time, he punched a hole through the ground, releasing a volcanic fury through the monster.

05/03/2024

“Without Harold G. Crockett’s popular graphic novel adaptations of Matteo Segundo’s works, it is indeed very possible the theologian’s thoughts would’ve faded into obscurity, and for that Crockett’s work should be appreciated. Yet too often these adaptations are treated as pure translations of Segundo’s thoughts. Our popular lexicon makes the critical mistake of obscuring where Segundo’s thoughts end and Crockett’s additions or interpretations begin- and nowhere is this more evident in text involving Segundo’s idiosyncratic and dense approach to Semiotics and Epistemology. Crockett appropriated Segundo’s Semiotics for his own 12-pronged metaphysical framework, a framework that is now commonly attributed to Segundo despite him never once using the 12-pronged framework in his text. On the contrary, if we are to apply any numerology to Segundo it would have to be the number 7, since the main corpus of his work engaged with the “7 Discourses” he felt permeate all of human history.” -Sylvester Thorne on Harold G. Crockett’s adaptation of Matteo Segundo’s works.

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28/02/2024

PARTY PARROT VERSUS: ROCKS!
(i havent posted in a while so heres a low-effort post of Party Parrot (world famous wrestler and mutated parrot) watching the news to hear that the Cranial Cartographers (a family of geography superheroes) have discovered subterranean rock monsters. Part Parrot hears of this and responds “I gotta fight.”)

19/02/2024

Before writing science fiction based comics or metaphysical self-help, Harold G. translated and adapted the works of the (previously obscure) theologian Matteo Segundo.

17/02/2024

The conglomerate’s efforts to mine spiritual energy from the Realm of the Dead led to the Queen of Death incarnating into a human form- A rollerblading teen in an island city. She finds herself on a small, artificially created plastic island somewhere in the Atlantic. It’s the same island Bug! constructed, with the mutant fruit people. (See! It’s like, . Also the tunnels to the Earth’s Core from that other recent have something to do with the mining).

16/02/2024

Full speed ahead

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16/02/2024

“Though we cannot deny cultural impact of Queen Of Death (famously one of the first superheroines to be used in the anti-corporate comics of Harold G’s ‘70s comic series) we must question the origins of this heroine. Her description as “originally a goddess of life until she was ashamed and left to became a goddess of the underworld” and her ambiguously “tropical island” origins led many critics to connect her to the Māori goddess Hine-nui-te-pō. At the same time, most of her “spirit form” depictions seem to take clear inspiration from La Catrina of Mexico. Already there is a confused mixture of references, made only more obscure when we consider that Harold G utilized infamous “Grand Plagiarizing Technology” of the ‘70s to compose his comics, an early printing automaton trained on undisclosed artworks. (Of course, we must also note that Harold was neither Maori or Mexican.)
The ‘70s The Queen of Death’s origins comics were a statement against exploitive mineral extraction. The plot is well-known (more often from its ties to Tech Runner’s early comics): A powerful company from the global economic center enters an unnamed island country in the global south and learns how to mine “spiritual energy” from it, until the mines manifest themselves into the tropical underworld. Then, the Queen of Death fights back, she fails, and her spirit is tragically trapped back into the mortal world (where she is reborn as a spunky rollerblader). This version of the story still serves as a statement against the dangers exploitative industries abroad.
But in the decades that followed, this classic story has been commercialized to the point of no longer speaking against these extractive practices, but normalizing their reality as necessary beginnings. The proliferation of Queen of Death action figures, video games, dolls and cartoons have simply numbed and placated children to the reality of the extractive industry. No longer are mines a monster to be rallied against, they are a normalized structure where fantastic heroes are born.”
-Sylvester Thorne, Cultural Critic

15/02/2024

14/02/2024

Messing with forces they don’t understand or recognize, those tunnels shouldn’t have ever been built.