14/06/2026
When I was about three months pregnant, I realized my husband wasn't comfortable getting close to me. At night when we slept, he would sleep at the edge of the bed, far away from me, as though we were enemies trapped in the same cell. I would draw closer to him, put my hand around him, and sleep. By the time I woke up again, he would be lying behind me and closer to the wall. I didn't understand it, so I called a meeting about it.
"Dear, what's wrong? You always create space between us when we sleep. Have I done something wrong?"
He responded, "No, you haven't. You're pregnant now, and I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the pregnancy."
I bought into his explanation. We'd been trying for a baby for almost four years until this one came along. When you try and try and try and it finally arrives, you treat it with all the care in the world. I told him, "Holding me while we sleep doesn't hurt the baby in any way. Being intimate during pregnancy is still healthy."
Intimacy became few and far between until I gave birth. About three months after I'd given birth, I realized I was always in the mood for some action, but my husband always found excuses not to do it.
That wasn't my husband. Don't fill a woman with questions. She won't sleep until she finds answers to those questions. I started digging, even in places that didn't need digging. I didn't find any evidence.
"Maybe I'm chasing my own shadow," I said.
One night while he was asleep, I picked up his phone and went through it. There was one particular number he had called at least three times a day throughout the week. Her name was Thess.
I went to his WhatsApp looking for messages between him and Thess. I took my time and went through their messages one after the other. I saw the flirty messages and the half-nude photos the lady had been sending him. He had been telling the lady I was the one denying him when he had been the one building a Wall of Gibraltar between us.
He woke up and saw his phone in my hands. He asked, "What are you doing with my phone?
I said, "Who's Thess? No need to lie. I've read all your messages. She's the reason you don't touch me anymore?
He pulled me in and tried to apologize. I broke free and screamed at him, "Don't touch me with your filthy hands."
The baby squirmed and began crying. I picked him up and left the bedroom. He followed us and kept asking me to forgive him.
"I'm ashamed of everything. It will never, ever happen again." I wasn't listening to him. While my mind was deep in thought, trying to decide my next step, he was down on his knees begging and making all sorts of promises. Somehow, I was enjoying how miserable he looked and how a man of his stature could kneel and beg.
One morning he didn't go to work. He said, "I didn't go to work so we could use today to resolve this. Do whatever you want to do to me, but please don't leave me. I messed up but don;t mess us up."
The pain of what he did went deep to the core, especially because he had been denying me all along. For about a week, we didn't say a word to each other. And when we finally did, I insulted him. I called him names; cheap, hoe, idiot, any insult that came to my mind, I dished it out to him, but he kept saying sorry.
It's difficult to fight a man who's not fighting back. I calmed down. We started talking, and he started making promises. "It's unfortunate I had to go through all this just to know how much I want this marriage. Trust me, it won't happen again, just give me a chance."
From that day on, whenever the baby cried at night and I woke up, he would wake up with me and ask if there was something he could do to help. After breastfeeding, I would leave the baby with him and go back to sleep. He would walk around, singing lullabies until the baby fell asleep before he finally slept. He came home with gifts. All of a sudden, I felt the way I used to when we were dating, but I kept getting flashes of his infidelity.
It's not easy to let go of the pain caused by a cheating partner. No matter how much they change afterward, you still carry a scar that reminds you of what your partner is capable of. I found myself sneaking through his phone, checking his messages just to be sure. Even when I didn't see any traces of cheating on his phone, I convinced myself he had deleted the flirty messages.
But his actions toward me remained genuine and those were the things that kept my mind at ease. I didn't leave. Two years after the incident, he keeps trying to win me over every day. Now he worships the ground I walk on and tries so hard not to put a foot wrong.
On our anniversary last year, he said, "Thank you for forgiving me. You're the reason we Have a marriage."
Currently, I'm six months pregnant, but he doesn't hold back. Every night and day, there's action. We are like lovers who found each other just yesterday.
Too bad I had to go through such pain to rediscover the love he had always had for me. I'm not sharing my story for you to condone cheating in a loving relationship. No. I'm sharing my story to let you know that true forgiveness is only possible when repentance is genuine.
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