mastin_moo1

16/01/2023

Make memes with this image

16/01/2023

Am today day old

11/01/2023

End your day with this 😂

A married man died before he could have s*x with his wife.
The wife decided not to remarry or have s*xual relationship
with another man, instead she cut off her late husband's
pen*is and mounted it to the wall.
Each night she went to the wall and satisfied herself.
One day the neighbour Mr. Samuel found out what was
happening, and he made a hole through the wall, removed the
dead man’s pen*is and put his own pen*is and waited for the
lady.
Unfortunately that same day the lady came with a knife and
said “darling, we are moving to a new house today.”😄😄
___________

09/01/2023

) Ordinary Eyeglass, They said It's
Which Shége I wan see, Wey Búhari Néver Show Me😭😭😂
2) I attended A Motivational Conference on Turning Wáste To Wealth; So I decided to Start Picking All Pure Water Nylon and Plastic Bottles in My Street;
To Cut the Story short, they have Tiéd Me, carrying Me to Pscythaírtst Hospital😭😭
Motivational speaker, Make Una avóid Me this year😒😠😭😭
2) Dáting A Bléaching Girl is so Nice, Not until You're Expecting A Child Like DESTINY ETIKO, boom!, Obasanjo Comes out😂😂😂
3) Dáting An Illitérate Girl is so Nice, Not until When you Offénd her, and Instead Of her To tell you "It's Not Fáir!", She stands Náked and uses Her Pánt to swéar for you🙆😭😭😭😂😂
4) Dáting An Úgly Girl is nice, Not until when they use your Child to Act The Role of Dévil in primary School Movie😭😂😂
5) Dáting A shórt Girl is so Nice, Not until you attend A Wedding, and The Sécurity Men shoúted at You: "I thought They asked You Nót To Bring Your Children Along" 🙊😭😂😂😂
6) Dáting A Víllage Girl is So Nice, not until You Wants to Deposit money in the bánk, and she tells you that "Honey, That's Stressful, Just Bring the Money, I'll save it in My Brá" 😂😂😂
7) My Brother Please Hustle, so that Your Children Will Not have to Cut Toothpaste's Nylon when it has finísh already🤭😂😂
8) My Brother Please Hustle, so that They Will not offer You Gallon to Sit, When You attend Tenants meeting😂😂😂
9) My Brother Please Hustle, so your Children Genotype Won't be GG+ (Garri Plus)🙆😂😂😂😂
10) My Brother Please Hustle,.... When Your Wife takes you to Her Parents, There's a Difference between "Meet My Husband", and "Na my Oga be this" 🙉😂😂

As We or Our Parents Go Out Daily Undér The sun or anywhere, Just to Hustle to Meet Our Daily Needs, May The Almighty God Forever Crown it will Wealth and Success

Cutie 🥺, I'm a Guy that Loves Seeing Precious Souls Smiling And their Dépressed Soul Being Lifted, You can Add Me as Your Friend So Me and you can Vibe Everytime an

07/01/2023

Let play a game You'll send me money
And u'll start begging Me To send it back, if I send it
You win🚶🥱

05/01/2023

😂 🤣I care for your Laughter 🤣 😂

1. Pls who sang that song "Bad day After Bad day, After bad day after bad day" cuz my neighbor nearly kill his son after coming back from bet9ja 🤔🤔😂😂😂😂

2. Those boys that refuse to wear socks during secondary school days are still those ones wearing socks up and down with slippers....
Is Ur Foolishness from blood or u Just learnt it?😀😀😀😀

3. Nothing breaks my heart like My neighbour who have one fat and ugly daughter and still call me in-law
What's all this😕😕😂😂😂😂

4. When Money is involve girls will be like " I love him, his ugliness is shining"
Haba? Which shining😀😀😀😀

5. I never believe MTN was so serious about their 50naira I borrowed from them since last year till today they sent me a friend request on Facebook, pls should I accept?😕😕😕😂😂😂😂

6. Any Nigerian caught trying to commit su***de must be rescued and arrested. We're all in this economic crisis together, You're going nowhere😂😂😂

7. Only in Nollywood that someone will die with an Afro and his spirit will come back with low cut. Abi barbing salon dey that side?😂😂😂😂😂😂

8. My Ex was fond of telling that if I leaved her, she will die, but what marvel me is that, Last week I saw her, "SO DIZ GIRL IS NOT DEAD??"
Brothers and Sisters, she is even gaining weight
I SWEAR...GIRLS CAN LIE OOO 😂😂😂😂😂

9. Yesterday, I went to deposit a fake note...
Cashier : Mr.man, diz money is fake
Me : Sir, the money is mine & the Account is mine,
So tell me... WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM ???
Biko, put it inside my own Account for me
This cashier people sef 😀😀😀

10. There is no privacy in this country anymore...🙅🙅🙅🙅 How can I be pressing my phone in a Taxi and someone from behind will says “Uncle scroll back, I did not see that girl’s picture well, she resemble my girlfriend"😀😀😀😊😊😂

11. My neighbor entered his room with a girl, I went and sat behind his window and played Nathaniel Bassey "Is your name in the book of life?"
The girl left after 2mins.😀

05/01/2023

LIST OF THINGS THAT SHOULD HAVE END IN 2022

😌😌😌

1: Crying when he engages u!!!
That childish act must have stop😎😎 in 2022.

2: That silly act of folding 500naira into your mother's hands for transportation, stop that.She deserves better in 2023

3: Going to a girls timeline to write, thanks for acceptance, thanks for acceptation, thanks for accepting, thanks for accept, thanks for acception, this nonsense should have end in 2022.

4: You are not dating her and you will come to her post and be commenting, "my love, my one and only", and be scaring serious candidates away. please let it end year.

5: Drinking sniper because of heart break. Make una no try carry this attitude enter new year o. You are precious to someone out there. Secure your life.

6: A guy will invite you over for lunch and you will come with your girlfriends, cousins, school mates, ancestors to consume his money.
Girls that character should end in 2022. It is a not child dedication.

7: He's my male bestie, she's my female bestie. This lies should have end in 2022. Rat and meat aren't friends. Don't be too closer to an opposite gender when you guys ain't dating. It leads to stabbing.

8: Are you on WhatsApp? That question should stop. If you want to ask her for number please be bold enough to ask her number. Stop using WhatsApp to cover up.

9: I can't do distance relationship but you are waiting for Emy Holland or Chuks Malaysia😮😕, let this nonsense stop this is 2023.😨😀l

10: I will support your business with some money. These lies must have stop 2022

11: I wish I had met you before marrying my wife, men that nonsense lie must stop this 2023😟😟😟

HAPPY NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE🙌💖🥰💋

04/01/2023

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Two teachers were arguing in the class before the students. Other teachers came to the class one after the other.
ENGLISH TEACHER: What a pugnacious fight, teachers maneuvering themselves in the presence of their students.
CHEMISTRY TEACHER: stop this fight now or I will balance your equation with acid and base.
MATHEMATICS TEACHER: please, please, stop before I divide and subtract your names from our teachers list.
HISTORY TEACHER: Oh God of 21st century, I will compare this fight with that of Iraq and iran.
CRS TEACHER: Oh God of Nazareth, forgive them for they don't know what they are doing.
BIOLOGY TEACHER: What a shame the knot of your medulla oblongata is losing and I must get a spanner to stop this osmosis.
___________________ : I must calculate the weight, velocity and momentum of each blow.
Which Teacher makes this statement?🤣🤣🤣🤣

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03/01/2023

DO RAT SEE OTHER RATS THAT DIED AND BE LIKE
NO NO IS DIS NT FAVOUR DAT WAS WIT ME INSIDE DE BAG OF RICE JUST NOW😁🤣😂

01/01/2023

Omo this year slow o
By this time last year na February 20 we dey na
2023

30/12/2022

my life is like Gotv....live it..or love it...

30/12/2022

Crazy things you do in the bathroom before shower/bathing 🧼 🚿🛁 😀😂🤣