Nweke Emeka

Nweke Emeka Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Nweke Emeka, Comedy Club, Awka.
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26/04/2024

A beer company was hiring a taster, Someone to taste the beers before they are taken for selling. So they placed adverts and one afternoon, my friend walked into the manager's office asking to be employed.

The manager tried to figure out how he could drive him away but couldn't come up with an idea, so he decided to give him a trial. He ordered his secretary to give him a glass of wine 🍷

He took a sip and said, "It's Red wine, Varietal, three years old, grown on rift valley, matured in steel containers."

"That's correct!" The manager exclaimed, "Well give him another one let's see." So he was given.

He took a sip again and said, "It's Guinness, a combination of barley, roast malt extract, and brewers yeast brewed around Thika road in Nairobi, Kenya 2 years ago"

"Incredible!" said the manager.

Now the manager went closer to the secretary and whispered to her saying, "Go get some of your urine in a cup let's see if he will get that."

So my friend was given the cup of urine. He took a sip, turned to the manager and said, "Female urine, 26 years old, 2 weeks pregnant and if I'm not given this job, Sir I will tell your wife who is responsible for the pregnancy"

both the manager and the secretary fainted.

My friend got the job.🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️

19/04/2024

A WISE MAN ONCE SAID

1. Don’t call someone more than twice continuously. If they don’t pick up your call, presume they have something important to attend to;

2. Return money that you have borrowed even before the person that borrowed you remember or ask for it. It shows your integrity and character. Same goes with umbrellas, pens and lunch boxes.

3. Never order the expensive dish on the menu when someone is giving you a lunch/dinner.

4. Don’t ask awkward questions like ‘Oh so you aren’t married yet?’ Or ‘Don’t you have kids’ or ‘Why didn’t you buy a house?’ Or why don't you buy a car? For God’s sake it isn’t your problem;

5. Always open the door for the person coming behind you. It doesn’t matter if it is a guy or a girl, senior or junior. You don’t grow small by treating someone well in public;

6. If you take a taxi with a friend and he/she pays now, try paying next time;

7. Respect different shades of opinions. Remember what's 6 to you will appear 9 to someone facing you. Besides, second opinion is good for an alternative;

8. Never interrupt people talking. Allow them to pour it out. As they say, hear them all and filter them all;

9. If you tease someone, and they don’t seem to enjoy it, stop it and never do it again. It encourages one to do more and it shows how appreciative you're;

10. Say “thank you” when someone is helping you.

11. Praise publicly. Criticize privately;

12. There’s almost never a reason to comment on someone’s weight. Just say, “You look fantastic.” If they want to talk about losing weight, they will;

13. When someone shows you a photo on their phone, don’t swipe left or right. You never know what’s next;

14. If a colleague tells you they have a doctors' appointment, don’t ask what it’s for, just say "I hope you’re okay". Don’t put them in the uncomfortable position of having to tell you their personal illness. If they want you to know, they'll do so without your inquisitiveness;

15. Treat the cleaner with the same respect as the CEO. Nobody is impressed at how rude you can treat someone below you but people will notice if you treat them with respect;

16. If a person is speaking directly to you, staring at your phone is rude;

17. Never give advice until you’re asked;

18. When meeting someone after a long time, unless they want to talk about it, don’t ask them their age and salary;

19. Mind your business unless anything involves you directly - just stay out of it;

20. Remove your sunglasses if you are talking to anyone in the street. It is a sign of respect. Moreso, eye contact is as important as your speech.

21. Never talk about your riches in the midst of the poor. Similarly, don't talk about your children in the midst of the barren.

22.After reading a good message try to say "Thanks for the message".

APPRECIATION remains the easiest way of getting what you don't have....
❤️♥️

12/03/2024

The marriage of Man & Wife is the strongest know Mastermind available to all. Today, I work on Principles that will help me to turn Respect into Honor. This will drive harmony. This is part of your recipe for success. Who wants to know more?

30/01/2024

Courage to me is doing something daring, no matter how afraid, insecure, intimidated, alone, unworthy, incapable, ridiculed or whatever other paralyzing emotion you might feel. Courage is taking actio..no matter what. So you're afraid? Be afraid. Be scared silly to the point you're trembling and nauseous, but do it anyway.

30/01/2024

Nelson Mandela says :

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.

30/01/2024

There is a stubbornness about me that never can bear to be frightened at the will of others. My courage always rises at every attempt to intimidate me.

30/01/2024

You may not always have a comfortable life and you will not always be able to solve all of the world’s problems at once but don’t ever underestimate the importance you can have because history has shown us that courage can be contagious and hope can take on a life of its own.

30/01/2024

Hope lies in dreams, in imagination, and in the courage of those who dare to make dreams into reality.

30/01/2024

Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.

29/01/2024



A lot of girls complain that guys walk away from them simply because they refused giving them S*x, Some have even turned into S*x toys just to keep their man

Let me be very open here.......

S*x might not be the reason these guys walk away!

Remove s*x from a relationship and see that most girls don't have anything else to offer their man!

Aside S*x,what do you have to offer to a man?

Can you support him Spiritually?🙌🙌

Can you Support him Physically/Financially?💰💰💰😒😒

How about Mentally?📚📔📙

All you do is Demand Money 💵💰💰for Bags👜🎒👝, Shoes,phones👠👠👡, Clothes👗👙👘, and Outings🏫🏪🏩,

Making him spend unnecessarily😡😒😏😏

What are you even bringing to the table???

Have you ever sat him down and helped him plan 📝about his future???

Try to be a Woman that a man will Always regret losing for the rest of his Life ✌💯💯.

Be that woman that your man can never afford to lose to another man!

Build your man to your Taste and stop looking for a ready made husband when you are not a ready made Wife...

29/01/2024

I Left My Husband Because He Was Cheating, Now His Sidechick Has Moved Into Our Home💔😭

Good afternoon. I'm married for twelve years now and my marriage is blessed with two kids all boys, 11 and 9 respectively. Our marriage was also blessed with peace until I discovered my husband dates girls.💔💔💔

The one that pains me most is dating a neighbor who has been my enemy since we relocated to that settlement. My husband has side chicks too numerous to mention and I tried to talk to him but he refused. I left him and went back to my parents house thinking that will make him change and to come and apologize, to my greatest surprise he didn't make a move of putting things in order.💔

The worst is that the girl in the neighborhood is now living with him sleeping in our Matrimonial bed doing all the house chores and taking my children to school.😡💔🙆🏼‍♀️

I came back and apologized to my husband but he said it's over between us. I love my husband so much that I can't afford to lose him. What should I have done? I expressed my grief of being hurt but it bounced back negatively.😭

Please advise me on how to restore my marriage.🙏

18/01/2024

He left me just because of my English. But I doesn't cannot care. If he wanted to gone, let him went. I can't dead
😍

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Awka

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