King Kelly Kelechi, Abuja (2026)

23/01/2024

Two guys rāp£d a princess👸 and when they were caūght and sent to
the king🤴, he ordered them to go and bring as many fruits as they can to bail themselves.🍇🍇🍈🍉🍊🍋😁

🧔The first guy went and returned with 15 mangoes🍋the king ordered his guards to
insert all the mangoes into his anūs🙆‍♂️so he would feel the same pain 😰as the princess👸. The guards did as they were
ordered and the guy scrēāmed🙀😫 and shøuted in paīn.😰😭

Moments later, he støpped screaming and Shøuting then started laughing.😂🤣

The guards then became surprised and
asked him 🗣️why he was laughing despite all the paīns. The guy pointed to the road 👉....🚶‍♂️and said🗣️"look at my friend Gõdy Blêss he brought 50 water melons🍉

The guards and king faīnted!!

🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️🤣🙆‍♂️

20/10/2023

I called a married lady who was owing me money, but she didn't pick my calls.

I called 10 times more, still no answer. Knowing that her husband was not at home, I decided to send her this message:

"Hello Sisy, I'm not calling for the money. I just wanted to tell you that 2 girls were fighting over your husband in town today. It was a big fight and he was just there watching, until one of the girl managed to escape into his car and they drove off".

After some minutes, she called me but I ignored her. She kept calling and I found 21 missed calls from her and a message which read:

"Where was the fight?
Where did they go?
Did you Notice those girls? Please tell me, I am falling apart."

I just read and didn't respond. She called again, 5 times and I didn't answer, then another message from her:

"I have your money, please can we meet, so you tell me more?"

Then i replied, "Okay, you can Send it through eWallet so that I can pass by the filling station to refuel, then I will pick you and drive you to one of the Girl's House because I know them."

After 2 mins, I checked my account balance, my money was fully paid.

I then switched off my phone and slept like a baby..... You need to be smart when comes to your money 🤦🤣

01/05/2023

My fiancee and I love each other very well.

We plan to get married soon.

One day she visited, we had a little misunderstanding.

For me to teach her a small lesson, I concluded that I wont call her on phone for 4 days.

3 days passed, i didn't call her and she didn't care to call me nor
text. I became worried and was meditating.

"Does it mean she doesn't want me again? She no longer miss me. Not even a text. No this unlike her. I can't afford to loose her,
I think i should better stop all this nonsense and call her before it becomes too late".

As I was still medicating, my phone ranged and behold it was her
calling.

I became relieved with so much joy in my heart.

In order not to make it look as if I had been waiting for her to call
first, I ignored the call.
5 min later, she called again and I ignored it.

She called 10 consecutive times but I ignored all.

She then sent me a text "Baby am sorry, please forgive me. I love you".

My head got swollen after reading the text.

But still no reply from me.

She sent another text and Series of them throughout the day and at night but i ignored all.

I was just waiting for tomorrow which will make it 4 days before I will give her a reply.

Tomorrow came, and I was about calling her before I received
another text from her.

"Hi baby, I have called you more than 30 times with about 15 text
messages but you ignored all. Remember I've rejected many guys because I love you and they are still coming for me, I will call you for the last time now.
And if you don't answer, then its OVER between us. And please don't bother to call me later because I will NEVER EVER accept you again."

As soon as I finished reading the text, her call came in.

I hurriedly press the answer button but the phone kept on ringing.

I pressed again, no way.

That's when it was done to me that my phone was hanging.

I pressed and pressed and pressed, no way .

Out of frustration, I hit the phone on the floor.

Brothers and sisters, I am now single 😥

29/03/2023

Daddy's Best Advice🤣🤣

When I got admission, my dad used to advise me not to engage in cultism and that I should stay away from trouble....

So one day my daddy called me saying, "I'm just watching the news now and there is crises in your school, where are you?😩"

I told him that I was in my room😫.
He asked, "Did you lock your doors?" I said, "Yes." He said, "That's my son☺️."

So an hour later, my dad called and asked me what caused the problem. I told him that they increased the school fees from N27,000 to N127,000🤧

My dad was now like, "Wait my son, I want you to tell me the truth🙄😏 Where are you right now?"

"I am in my room right now😫."
I replied.

My dad, really angry, said, "ARE YOU STUPID?!😠
Will you get out of that room and join the riot!"

Totally surprised, I reminded him, "Dad remember you told me to stay out of trouble😩"

"Forget what I told you earlier!" He said, "Do what I'm telling you now; join the riot, k!ll somebody if possible!!!"😬😬

🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

03/01/2023

😂😂😂😂😂😂Me and my wife 😂😂😂

I was browsing my fb page the other day and came across a friend request from a girl 'Olivia Johnson'. Now I was surprised as well as suspicious since people like us rarely get friend request from girls and that too unknown girls.

To get over my suspicion, before accepting her friend request, I decided to go through her profile and found that she did not have a profile picture and I was her only friend. Well, I gave it a thought and realised that she must be new to facebook and must have got my name as a suggestion since I am pretty popular on fb.

Days went by and she started liking my photo uploads and posts. I was really delighted in this friend and we started chatting some time later.

One day, out of the blue, she asked me if I'm single and I said no, "I'm married"
Then she asked , "Do you love your Wife?" and I replied in positive. Then soon she asked me if my wife was beautiful and I said she is the most beautiful woman I know.

After some days, she messaged me that she is in town and would like to meet up. I was very happy at this fact. She asked me to come to Meritt Mall but I said why don't you come over to my place for dinner and my wife would be very happy to meet her. But she refused and said that I should come alone and meet her in Meritt Mall and that we will go for a movie and dinner. I refused the offer and said that I will get my wife also along since she also wanted to see a movie.

She got pi**ed off on this suggestion and told me to screw myself and said that she is going back to her place and I am losing out on a good offer.

I, of course persisted her to come to my place for dinner and taste the mutton soup my wife makes which is very awesome.

She never replied again and I also gave up and left office for my home.

As I entered, I saw that the dining table is beautifully decked up, the house smelling of aromatic candles and my wife dressed casual with a plate of my favourite mutton soup, and on the table was my favorite Egyptian meal, Koshari.

I asked whether we were expecting any guests but she simply smiled and said that 'Olivia Johnson' is coming.

I asked her how she knew about my fb friend 😳to which she replied that I have passed her test of trustworthiness and loyalty and she was only acting as Olivia Johnson💁🏾‍♀️

She was very proud of me and was delighted by my behaviour.
Lesson Learnt: It is important to keep checking your wife's laptop and phone regularly otherwise this story would have completely been a different one..🙂🙂😛😛😂😂🤣🤣

01/01/2023

2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
202320232023
202320232023
2023 2023
2023 2023

2023
20232023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023

2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3

2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3

2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3

20232023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 20232023

2023 20232023 2023 202320 2 3
2023 2023
2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023
2023 2023
2023 202320 2 3
2023 20232023

2023 2023 2023
2023 20 23 2023
2023 20 23 2023
2023 20 23 2023
202320 232023
20 23 20 23

2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3

2023 20232023 2023 202320 2 3
2023 2023
2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023
2023 2023
2023 202320 2 3
2023 20232023

20232023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023

2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2023 2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023
2023 2023 2023
2 0 2 3 2 0 2 3
2 0 2 3 2023
2 0 2 3 2023
2 0 2 3 2023
2 0 2 3 2023

God bless you and your Family

28/12/2022

😂💔😂ME & MY FATHER🤣💔🤣

👨Father : can u go buy me a soft drink🍷
🧑Son : coke or pepsi?

👨Father : coke🍹
🧑Son : diet or regular

👨Father : regular
🧑Son : bottle🍾 or can🥫

👨Father : bottle🍾
🧑Son : 500ml or 1litter

👨Father : dumn😠 it.!! Just buy me water🥛
🧑Son : natural or mineral

👨Father : mineral
🧑Son : hot or cold..?

👨Father : am gonna strike u with broom stick you idiot
🧑Son : stick broom or soft broom...?

👨Father : stop this you little animal
🧑Son : cow🐄 or pig...🐖?

👨Father : get out of here u bustard.!!
🧑Son : now or later...?

👨Father : now.!!!
🧑Son : so you gonna throw me out or not...?

👨Father : am gonna kill u.!!
🧑Son : with a knife🔪 or gun...🔫?

👨Father : am gonna shoot🔫 u bustard.!!
🧑Son : on the head or stomach ...?

👨Father : u pest.!!!
🧑Son : cockroach🦗 or rat....🐀?

👨Father : f**k🖕 you..!!
🧑Son : with condom or flesh

👨Father : (faints)
🧑Son : are you dead or sleeping...🛌👶?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

07/12/2022

Laugh out loud 😃😁😃😃😁😁🤣😀😀🤣
1. Some people will be busy taking down notes in Church during sermon as if they will read it later. oh fior..🤣🙆‍♂️
2. Those boys who refuse to wear socks in Secondary school are now those boys wearing socks and slippers up & down the street!😂🙆‍♂️
3. Some g!rls self,how can u wake up in the morning,take ur bath, dress and go to another people's gate to snap picture?
Nawa ooo..🤣🙆‍♂️
4. She just called me and said she haven't seen her period since she visited me.. I've searched everywhere in my house I didn't c anything . What am I even looking for ?. Now Dat I don't know what period looks like . Please what does period look like ? let me know what to look for..🤣🙆‍♂️
5. I'm still at the laboratory trying to understand why every guy changes his voice whenever he is speaking to a beautiful girl on the phone..🤣🙆‍♂️
6. U will never see African parents kissing , hugging or in any form of romance.... But Boom! 11 children.... How com?🤣🙆‍♂️
7. RELAX WITH THIS:
I was just wondering why the GROOM sits on the RIGHT and the BRIDE on the LEFT......
I just remembered my basic ACCOUNTING principles:
INCOME is on the right and EXPENSES is on the left..🤣🙆‍♂️
8. Women who say, "what a man can do, a woman can do" well, dear ladies, can you write your name with your urine while urinating..🤣🙆‍♂️
9. Nothing can be more frustrating than eating hot spaghetti with a spoon the spaghetti will just be forming hard 2 get..🙆‍♂️😂
10. If God says only virgins will w!tness next year, I pity the one reading this post right now , Take care guys bye im abit busy🤣🙆‍♂️😂..
11. in Nigeria you will buy V.I.P tickets just to end up sitting on a speaker🙆‍♂️😂
12. My brother, If a woman asks: "How are you?" Just reply "I am fine" But if you have money, you can add: "And you"

02/12/2022

1) After playing betnaija with ur last card, and u think of going home to drink d last garri in d house, bt unfortunately for u ur junior broda just finished drinking it boom angry mode activated
everything in d aws becomes ur enemy, even ur own cloths😏😁🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😃

2) That awkward moment when u go to d ATM to withdraw ur last #1000 and the machine swallows ur card you'll be like "bros, do u have spanner dere lets loose dis thing😁😃😃😃😁😁😁

3) So ur sister asked u to give her #500 and u declined her bt ur bae tells u to send her #5000 you're telling to send her acct no, my broda you're disgrace to d fools😁😃😃😃😃😃😁

4) Those guys dat use to catch me for my mom when i was a kid, i hope you're now police officers yeye peple😁😁😃😃😃

5) I $wear i'll stop falliñg in love, i fell in love yesterday guess what i broke my àrm😁😃🤣🤣😃😁😃

6) Even if i don't knw anything i'm very sure one day i'll become someone's husband🤣😃😃😁😁

7) That stúpid friend of mine just broke up with his girlfriend dat use to cook for us, i wonder how we'll survive 🤣🤣😃😁😃🤣😃😃

8) According to science lack of money causes añger no wonder i too dey vex dis days
😁😁😁😃😃🤣🤣

King Kelly Kelechi

23/01/2024

20/10/2023

01/05/2023

29/03/2023

03/01/2023

01/01/2023

28/12/2022

07/12/2022

02/12/2022

Address

Telephone

Website

Alerts

Contact The Establishment

Shortcuts

Share

Category