Kelvin art

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Welcome to malawi😂😂-We call every toothpaste COLGATE!We don't care😂 😂 😂!We are like that😂 😂 😂!-We call every insecticide...
09/04/2024

Welcome to malawi😂😂
-We call every toothpaste COLGATE!
We don't care😂 😂 😂!
We are like that😂 😂 😂!
-We call every insecticide DOOM!
We can't help it😋😋😋!
-We call every detergent omo
It's in our DNA😜😜😛!
-We point at an empty chair and ask “Who's sitting there”?
We are like that🙅🙅
🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️!
We use our mouth and our hand to knock at the same time "koh koh koh" Who's in the house🙅‍♀️
We are just like that.
-When Nepa⚡ takes Electricity, we go out and, check if it's the whole
street!
We are just like that🙅🙅!
-We use a bar of soap till it looks like a sim card
We don't have a problem🙈🙈🙈!
-We buy something, skip instructions & ask neighbors how it's
used!
We don't care😂🤣!
-We withdraw money from an ATM then count it before walking away.
We don't trust anybody, not even a machine that is made by man😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣.
-We lock the car then try to open it 2 times before walking away!
We are courteous 😂🤣😂🤣🤣.
-We turn off the volume just to smell what's burning,
-We are like that😂🤣😂
-We can't change, the way we are 😂👍
-We are 😂😂🤪 Malawians
🏊🏊😂😂😂
When We are inside a bus and the driver takes an unfamiliar route or turn, we all remove our ear phones to see clearly 😂😂😂.

We are Africans😂😂😂😂😂😀

Credit Owners

21/03/2024

Italian Relationship:
1st day= S*x
2nd day= S*x again.

French Relationship:
1st day = movies & kiss
2nd day = S*x
3rd day = S*x again

British Relationship:
1st day= hangout & kiss
2nd day = kiss & hug
3rd day= kissing, hug and smooching
4th day = s*x and more s*x

American Relationship:
1st day= Date
2nd day= Hug
3rd day= Hug again (warmly)
4th day= Kiss
5th day= Long kiss
6th day= S*x

Malawian Relationship:
1st day= Toast
2nd day= Toast
3rd day= Toast again
4th day= Agree
5th day= Date
6th day= Date again
7th day= Date again with three of her hungry friends or cousins.
8th day= Date & Hug
9th day= Tried to peck but failed.
10th day = Peck
11th day= Tried to kiss but failed.
12th day= kiss.
13th day= Long kiss.
14th day= Tried to have s*x but failed.
15th day= Tried to have s*x but quarrelled
16th day= Didn't talk to each other.
17th day= Malice till the next day.
18th day= The man called but the woman didn't pick.
19th day= The man called, the woman picked and asked: "what is it?"
The man apologized and she replied: "Leave me alone, am not your type of girl".
The man continued to beg till the next day.
20th day= The woman accepted the unwarranted apology.
21st day= Hug.
22nd day= Long hug.
23rd day= Kiss.
24th day= Long kiss.
25th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman complains that her phone is bad. Guy promises to buy her a new one.
26th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman said until he buys the phone.
27th day= Tried to have s*x but the woman asked: "where is the phone? You are not serious, call me when you are serious".
28th day= "R**e".
29th day= Police case.

07/04/2023

MWANA WA A LANDLORD

Ester mwana wanga waitenge kuti mamba, ndipo iye anayankhula nati ineyo ndikukhuzidwa pa mimbayi, Laptop yanga inatsala pang’ono kugwa kuchokela pa tchafu zanga.ndipo ndinayankha sindikunvesesa!!

Ester anandiloza ine ndikuzayankhula kuti ndikukhuzidwa pa mimbayi.ndinabalalika kwambiri. “Ndi inuyo Mr Emz” anayankhura. Yesu!! Komatu tinangogognana kamodzi, mwina nkutheka chishango chinaphulika kapena akufuna angondikakamiza kuti mimbayi ndi yanga……. Mulungu, ndabalalika ine. Amenewa ana maganizo amene ankayenda mmalingalilo anga.

Ndinakumbukila tsiiku loyamba nditangofika pa mudzi umenewu ndinakopeka chifukwa cha ukhondo komaso bata. Malo achilengedwe cha bwino kwa mlembi ngati ine.

Ndinasamukila mu numba yanga monga bachelor ( munthu osakwatila) ndinalibe zinthu zambiri, ndinalongeza katundu wanga mmene ndinkafunila, nditamaliza kulongeza katundu wanga ndinaphika ka chakudya kanga ndikudya kenako ndinapuma.

Kutacha tsiku lostatila ndinayenda yenda mmudzi , ndinapeza kuti anthu ambiri ndiosakwatila ndi ochepa okha amene anali m’mabanja komaso omwe anali ndi mabanja awo.

Chifukwa sindinali pa ntchito kupatula kulembemba nkhani zomwe ndimapanga tsikundi tsiku, kusakhala pa ntchito kwanga kunabweretsa vuto pa mudzi anthu anayamba kundinena kuti ndine lova chonsecho ndimigwilitsa ntchito an Iphone komas ndnali ndi an appel laptop.

Koyambiria sankandinkafusa za nkhaniyi Chifukwa choti ndine muthu ofasa komasa owoneka monyozeka mumawonekedwe, kufikila tsiku lina ndikufika pakhomo ndinapeza Anthu a ku boma ali pa bwalo la nyumba yanga. Tachokela ku boma tanvesedwa kangapo kuti ndiwe Munthu okuba kudzela pa internet ( internet fraudster) anatelo munthu wachikulile.

Ndipo izi ndi zotiyeneleza (Identification card) za ku ntchito kwathu, anatelo akundionetsa mapepala omwe angadzagwirile ntchito kunyumba kwangaku yofufuza myumba, muphone, mu laptop komaso chilichonse chomwe ndinali nacho.

Pompo pompo anthu a mmudzi anatulukila ndikudzaona zomwe zikuchitika moti ena ankajambula ndi ma lamia awo a pamwamba. Ndinamwetulila ndikuyankhula m***a kuyang’ana paliponse mnyumba mwangamu.

Panali munthu winawake wachilendo amene amandiyang’na kwambiri ngati tinakumanapo penapake, Atamaliza kufufuza paliponse kuphatikizapo mu laptop ndi mu lamia. Munthu amene amandiyang’ana kwambiri uja anabwera ndikuzandifusa ngati ndimaopa ndipo ndinamuyankha kuti eya ndimawodi.

Ndipoo anamwetulila ndikundilimbikisa kuti ineyo siokuba komano ndine mlembi, Anawafotokozela ndine bambo amwana amene amafuna nyamatuyu, chifukwa mwanayangayo ndi amene anandipangisa kuti ndiziwelenga nkhani za nyamatayu zambiri.
Anawafusa ngati akukumbukila nthawi yomwe ankaseka mo office muja, za nkhani yake yomwe imakamba za nyamata yemwe ankafuna kuphedwa ndi tsıkana wa kuphalombe chifukwa cha chigogolol ndipo anayankha eya takumbukila.

Anawawuzaso kuti nkhani ija ndiyowona ndipo inandichitikila ineyo. Ndipo kufotokoza kwakwe kunandipulumutsa kenako anandipasa numbala ya phone ndikundiwuza kuti ndipite ndikawachezele komaso kukadya chakudya cha madzuro ndipo ndikatelo mwana wawo adzakhala osangalala, ndinalandila nambala ija.

Anthu ammudzi anandipepesa ndikundiwuza kuti iwowo amangopenekela(vigilant) ndinawayankha, panalibe kuchitila mwina komano kuwawuza akubomawo ndipo sindinakwiye, ndinatelo.

Madzuro amenewo ndinayima pakhomo panya ndikuwawuza Anthu amene anali pamenepo kuti alowe nyumba komaso ester mwana wa a landrod analowa nyumba mwanga

To bee continued…………..

In fact I knew I was matured the day I walked passed an empty bottle of water without kicking it...Out of joy I went bac...
06/04/2023

In fact I knew I was matured the day I walked passed an empty bottle of water without kicking it...

Out of joy I went back and kicked it, to celebrate my maturity😂😂😂

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Malawi �
Zomba

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