21/02/2022
Much respect to these wise words. Its undisputable cuz we are in this era and its becoming disasterous nowadays.
BROKE MEN DESERVE MARRIAGE :- UMPHAWI SIKUFUNA [Yongo]
SMAM Member, 'Emmanuel Yongo Mwanyongo' goes against 'Deliwe Makata' on her statement that 'Broke guys do not deserve marriage' .
In defence , Emmanuel Yongo Mwanyongo, who is also a Chanco graduate posts;-
"So your parents send you to school, you get a job but you still fail to take of yourself and you think marriage should be the source of that? It defeats logic really. Marriage has been reduced by the way you âmodernâ people think. For me, marriage must be more than that. At least thatâs what I saw growing up.
Donât get me wrong. The traditional concept of âman is supposed to be the providerâ has got nothing on the current perception of âbroke men.â Provision goes beyond money. If you think provision is money only, then you are myopic. The same applies to the principle of a woman being a helper. This does not reduce a woman to become a housemaid. If you misunderstand these concepts, you will spend the rest of your life with a husband that âprovidesâ and would be busy reading his newspaper at the living room while your babies cry and food is burning on the stove but he has no sense to come help. Sadly enough these days there are men that donât provide anything yet they expect this treatment at home every day.
We have lately embraced a very strange perception of marriage. As I said before, we are preaching a very strange gospel to our little girls and this has greatly changed the power relations between men and women. And itâs more strange when this gospel comes from advocates of women empowerment.
We have become so obsessed with free money that we sugarcoat gold digging for a marriage entitlement. This insatiable appetite for money has also made the MG2 culture become almost normal. âAs long as he takes care of me, I donât care what he does.â These are the homes young boys and girls are being raised in. And you expect them to turn up alright?
Parents with young daughters, teach them to be self reliant. Teach them to live within their means and not make budgets on whatâs not theirs. Some parents would just watch kids bring home expensive gifts but ask nothing on where they get them. A kid comes home with iPhone 13 Pro Max, expensive shoes, jewellery etc and parents canât even question a 15 year old where they got the stuff and how. We are cultivating disaster right in our homes.
You find a young couple fresh out of college. Both working and getting a similar salary. The guy stays on his own and takes care of other responsibilities monthly. The girl still stays with her parents and you find her expecting the same guy to provide for her money for fake hair, fake nails and all the other things. When the man falls short, she calls him broke guy or broke n***a as they say these days. It is the same woman that expects a man to handle all finances when married. Such an unrealistic expectation!
Wouldnât it be nice to bring finances together when married? Suppose you both earn 400k as take home salary. Collectively you have 800k. You stay in a rented house for a start pegged at 200k. You spend 150k on utilities and groceries. It means you 550k remaining which you can carefully fend for other responsibilities and save or invest the rest. This is for the basic salary, not including allowances and benefits. Wouldnât this be the essence of marriage? Isnât this what it means by 2 becoming one?
Unfortunately am not married. Perhaps am even too broke to marry. But I thought marriage is meant to bring 2 together, merge their resources and chase after common goals. But alas! We are living in a very narcissistic and individualistic modern era where âhis money is our money and my money is my money.â
Ndigendeni!
P.S. You would find some girls laughing off at men, calling them broke n***as and all yet they themselves got nothing and bring absolutely nothing at the table but fantasy demands. Arenât such the real definition of broke?
Ma gents anzanga osakwatira inu, avoid unnecessary pressure and donât fall into the traps "
đ Smam Member, Emmanuel Yongo kung'alula
