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Ukiwa na UMPENDAYE... Hakikisha mnafanya mara 3 ama 4 qwa siku, hata akilala usiku, mwamshe ili mfanye. Akigoma mbembele...
27/02/2017

Ukiwa na UMPENDAYE...

Hakikisha mnafanya mara 3 ama 4 qwa siku, hata akilala usiku, mwamshe ili mfanye. Akigoma mbembeleze qwa maneno matamu na msilale bila kufanya. Hata k**a kachoka msiache kufanya.

Fanyeni asubuhi kila kunapokucha; mchana msikose kufanya kila siku.

Yaani fanyeni maombi mpaka Mungu awasikie.. hehe,

Wewe ulikua unafikiri ni nini? :)

Leo Ni sunday unaenda club unapata poko,.unambuyia kuku 800/=unambuyia drinks 2000/=unachukua taxi 500/=Mnaenda home mna...
26/02/2017

Leo Ni sunday unaenda club unapata poko,.
unambuyia kuku 800/=
unambuyia drinks 2000/=
unachukua taxi 500/=
Mnaenda home mnachafua bed mpaka morning..
kesho yake dame yako anakam.
anakufulia manguo chafu na jeans,
anakupanguzia nyumba na
anaipanga vizuri.
anafua hizo bedsheets....
Alafu unampea 50bob ya mat,..
My brother the thunder that will strike you is dancing azonto somewhere in nigeria!

mm ni muongo lakini "inakubalika" huyu jamaa amenishinda. Unafikiri anawezakua ametoka county gani?
25/02/2017

mm ni muongo lakini "inakubalika" huyu jamaa amenishinda. Unafikiri anawezakua ametoka county gani?

24/02/2017

madaktari wamegoma but shida ni
walisahau kufunga hosy so me nkaingia
nikajipima vile me huona wakipima nkapata
nko na emphloglotus enthupungumuluz
nkajiandikia dawa inaitwa detriptynglis
entroderthylus 3×8.
Sasa niko home sijui k**a nitafika jioni,

23/02/2017



Watchman: Kijana amka wenzako wameenda
mrng
preps.
Me: Niko mgonjwa
Watchi: Unaumwa wapi?
Me: Binomial Nomenclature na Dichotomas
key.
Watchi: Enh! Pole sana kijana hio ugonjwa ni
mbaya,
imeuwa watu wengi sana Israel ...hehe

wakubwa kuuliza tu..k**a akili ni nywele si tungekua tunaenda salon badala ya shule af pia hawa wahenga nao walitucheza ...
22/02/2017

wakubwa kuuliza tu..k**a akili ni nywele si tungekua tunaenda salon badala ya shule af pia hawa wahenga nao walitucheza coz hawakutuambia ni nywele za wapi ndio zkona akili mingi...

Nairobi to Mombasa=500kmMombasa to Nairobi=500kmMonday to Friday=5dayz Friday to Monday=2dayz Hapa tulicheswa!! ;)
19/02/2017

Nairobi to Mombasa=500km
Mombasa to Nairobi=500km
Monday to Friday=5dayz Friday to Monday=2dayz Hapa tulicheswa!! ;)

13/02/2017

kwa sababu valentine imekaribia madada wameanza kuomba msamah ata kwa vituhawajavifanya...
eti beib samahani kwa vita inayoendelea syria...

20/01/2017

Ati a kikuyu man was walking home after work and started monologue; e.g
Aki mungu sai nikiokota 100/= nitakupea 10/= nikiokota 500/= nitakutolea50/= na nikiokota 1000/= nitakutolea 100/= ...
Kidogo kidogo anaokota 900/= alafu anajisemea
Aki mungu unakuanga mwerevu,,, umetoa mia yako tayari.

19/01/2017

Lakini mbona madem mnapenda kutunyanyasa
ivi.
Leo nimecheki kadem kasupa tao nikajipata
nimeropokwa salamu kakipita 'Niaje
madam'..kakajibu 'poa'
Kuona nimejibiwa nikabambika yangu yote
mpaka nikabadilisha direction nikaanza
kukafuata tukichapanga mbili tatu. Time
kalifika place yenye kalikua kanaenda
nikakaomba namba, dem hakukataa, akanipee
namba then akanihug tukiachana na perk ya
cheecks then akanishow 'Dont miss to call me
at night'...waaah!! Mtuangu, mimi leo ata
sijamanga lunch na sijaosha uso nisioshe apo
niliperkiwa.
Kufika kejani nimetoa nguo zote ndo nikikacall
kaanze stori na ngwati nikue tu nikituliza
tarimbo. Kucall msupa manze vile nimeskia:
'Welcome to City Mortuary dear customer, for
su***de press 1, for murder press 2 for
accidents press 3 ,for body collection press 4'
Niko juu ya kitanda nikiwa ndethe nangoja
kamtu kanicall nitoe mahasira nako, matusi
katakula hakatawai sahau..nkt!!

17/01/2017

That "tempting" moment when a cute
MPESA lady asks you "unataka kuweka ama
kutoa?"
And you are like "Nilikuwa nataka kutoa
but wacha tu niweke, lakini si yote"
And to your excitement, she goes like "Haya
weka basi,
lakini ujuwe kuna delay so itaingia pole
pole"

:O :O

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