02/11/2020
MYTHS ON R**E
Myth 1: If someone gets really drunk, it’s their own fault if they end up getting r***d. They should have kept themselves safe.
Fact: People have the right to drink alcohol without getting assaulted. Having s*x with someone who is very drunk, drugged or unconscious is r**e – and it is always the ra**st’s fault.
Myth 2: Women often lie about r**e because they regret having s*x with someone, or because they want attention.
Fact: Stories in the media can give the impression that women often lie about s*xual violence. In fact, false allegations of r**e are very rare. Most people who have been r***d or experienced s*xual violence or abuse never tell the police.
Myth 3: If someone didn’t scream or try to fight their attacker off, then it wasn’t r**e.
Fact: There are many reasons why someone might not scream or struggle. In fact, many people find that they cannot move or speak at all. Some ra**sts also use manipulation or threats to intimidate or control the other person. No matter whether or not someone 'fights back', if they didn’t freely consent to s*x then it is r**e.
Myth 4: If you are in a relationship with someone, it’s always OK to have s*x with them.
Fact: Everyone has the right to say 'no' to any type of s*xual activity at any time – including with their partner. Consent must be given and received freely every time. R**e and s*xual violence in a relationship is illegal.
Myth 5: People who were s*xually abused as children are likely to become abusers themselves.
Fact: The vast majority of people who were s*xually abused as children never r**e or s*xually abuse other people. This is a dangerous myth that is sometimes used to excuse the behavior of people who do s*xually abuse children or others. There is never any excuse for s*xual violence against children or adults.
Myth 6: Women shouldn’t go out alone at night as they are likely to get r***d.
Fact: Only one in 10 of r**es are committed by 'strangers'. The rest are committed by someone the survivor knows – such as a friend, neighbor, colleague, partner, or family member. People are r***d in their homes, their workplaces and other settings where they previously felt safe. The risk of r**e by a stranger shouldn’t be used as an excuse to restrict what women can do.
Myth 7: Women provoke men to r**e them by wearing revealing clothes or flirting.
Fact: It doesn’t matter what a woman is wearing, or how she is behaving – if she doesn’t consent to s*x, that is r**e. Only the ra**st is ever responsible for r**e.
Myth 8: Once a man is s*xually aroused he can't help himself; he has to have s*x.
Fact: Men can control their urges to have s*x just as women can. No-one needs to r**e someone for s*xual satisfaction. R**e is an act of violence and control. It can't be explained away and there are no excuses.
Myth 9: When it comes to s*x, women and girls give out mixed signals. They sometimes 'play hard to get' and say 'no' when they really mean 'yes'.
Fact: Everyone has the legal right to say 'no' to s*x and to change their mind at any point of s*xual contact. If the other person doesn't stop, they are committing s*xual assault or r**e. When it comes to s*x, we must check in with our partners, respect their wishes, and believe what they tell us about what they do and don't want.
Myth 10: Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit s*xual violence.
Fact: There is no typical ra**st. People who commit s*xual violence come from every economic, ethnic, racial, age and social group.
Myth 11: Men don't get r***d.
Fact: Men are also r***d and s*xually assaulted. While R**e Crisis focuses particularly on women and girl survivors, we of course recognize that the impacts of s*xual violence and abuse on men and boys are no less devastating. We believe all survivors of s*xual violence and abuse deserve specialist support.
Myth 12: Women don’t commit s*xual offences.
Fact: The majority of s*xual assaults and r**es are committed by men against women and children. However, women do perpetrate s*xual violence against other women, men and children. Often people who've been s*xually assaulted or abused by a woman worry they won't be believed or their experiences won't be considered 'as bad'. This can make it difficult for these survivors to access services or justice.
