07/04/2026
A brief key to the symbolism and story behind my oil painting
Stop Sabotaging The Phoenix (55x76cm approx).
Like so many of us, I have struggled deeply with self-sabotage and chronically low self-esteem.
However, in the words of Rumi, the great Persian mystic, “it is through the wound that the Light enters you”.
This image came to me during a dream in September 2024. I saw that I had shot and killed a bird and was crying in grief and horror as I came into 'normal' waking consciousness, quickly realising this was a symbol for my own self-harming behaviours. At this moment my inner being/higher mind said the words that are the title of this oil painting, “stop sabotaging the phoenix”.
The phoenix is known in most if not all cultures; it rises from the ashes of out-worn beliefs, limiting self-concepts thereby re-emerging as a truer version of itself. It exists within the astral realm, acting as a guide for many. For me, this symbolises the human life experience in general. It represents the overcoming of the negative ego and the surrender to the higher mind, that aspect of our consciousness directly connected to our soul self and beyond.
Several symbols are incorporated, such as the spiral of creation emanating from the freed bird, to indicate how we create our own reality. There is a hint towards the opening of the throat/visuddha chakra here and the absolute necessity of proper breathing, for health, vitality, higher mind connection and so forth.
The number 13 is within the spirals of the tail feathers. 13 can be understood as the number of Transformation. The ankh form at the chest with a heart has three main meanings; it is the ‘key of life’ in ancient Egypt, itself multi-layered with meaning, and I created the heart aspect to symbolise the absolute necessity to choose love if we are to live peacefully within and without. In languages such as Arabic, ‘anka’ is also the word for phoenix.
The colours used are mostly crimson, yellows (for the solar plexus), gold and copper. Gold, copper, silver are great healing elements for the physical self.
Hints of sea tones are to suggest cleansing and renewal, violet to indicate higher level communication and enlightenment (to become full of light), silver to suggest renewal.
