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A graveyard of love, pain and hatred

Casa
Italia
Florence
A graveyard of love, pain and hatred

broken parts of me died here.

03/07/2026

cb sa page pag tinarantado na nanaman ng mundo😝😝😝

23/03/2026

grief comes in waves, it comes when you feel ashamed of things that you forget constantly. it shows when you were happy—laughing so bad. grief comes in forms of thinking of the haywire thoughts you used to pile two or three years ago. it visits you and made all of the healing left, and suddenly you'll get back to square one. you cried silently—for weeks, you can't accept food—for weeks, and the noise seems to bring an eerie of finding where you are more vulnerable. and escape was the only thing that keeps you going. but where do the chasing games stops? when the line is clear? or when it suddenly stops beating.

i come to realize that it doesn't make you less loved when you asks for help, but it made you bare naked on the emotions you've hide. and it so scary to ask for help. it's so scarry to accept hands that could hold you because once upon a time you did. there's this one time that you do, and it only doubled the noise when they choose to take advantage to vulnerability.

it wasn't bad to accept defeat and losses. it wasn't bad to show vulnerability but it also comes with the bravery showing the life you've hide for most of the people. grief comes in waves. and it visits you as often as you think. and it isn't bad to ask for hands but it is scary to accept one.

maybe, you could also give up the life you have fought for a long time. there's also a time to surrender.

09/03/2026

ng sabihin ko sayo ang pangarap ko, laman ng lahat ng ’yon ang takot ko. ang pangamba na naka ukit sa palad na minsan ng piniling humimlay sa pahinga ng iba, na minsan ng sinubukang hindi mapagod. kaya noong sinabi mo saakin na masaya ka, hindi ako nag isip, subalit hindi rin ako dinalaw ng antok. hindi ako pinatulog, pagkat paano, kung isang araw mapagod ka na ring maging masaya? paano ang pangarap ko? na laman ang lahat ng takot na inipon ko? paano kung isang araw, hindi kana pahinga? at nagsilbi kana lang ding parte ng takot ko? na isang araw, hindi na ako nag iintay kung kailan mo sabihin na masaya ka? pagkat inaantay ko lang na mapagod kana.

na paano kung ang pahinga na minsan kong nahanap sayo ay maging isang alaala nalang? na ang ngiti na minsan kong minahal, at ang linya ng iyong mukha na minsang naging pahinga ay naging laman ng kaba. ng nginig sa kamay. ng bawat pagbilis ng tibok ng puso.

marahil, takot ako na malamang masaya kana.

19/02/2026

sometimes, our soul doesn't only want the gentle ones. the one that will show care even on a random times, or the one that pick flowers out of nowhere just because they remember those colors to us.

sometimes, there are souls that only wanted to be seen, even when they are angry, even when the world is quite evil. there are souls that only wants to be listened to because the noise echoes loudly and the world was never gentle towards them. sometimes, we don't only want the one that help us move forward, but the ones that been there waiting for you until you are ready to move forward.

there are quite people that thought that being loved, is not being rushed. because life was never easy towards them, having scars for them are clearly reminder that what they felt was somehow true and real. when we love, i hope we only doesn't ones that feel safe and gentle, but the one that understand where the rage comes from, why tears made that way. or why we choose to pause our life just because we have hurt so hard. the ones that love us, will patiently waits until we are ready to have someone who will hold our soul.

we love on the pace that our hearts choose, we couldn't heal a heart that's afraid and mad. and it's fine to accept that sometimes people don't tend to wait for such a long time for you to be ready. they leave. but you should wait for a heart that is willing to accept you're own way of survival. your own way of coping.

love is patient. love is kind.

19/02/2026

two years na pala aqng sinasaktan ng mundo, happy anniv sa page q na bulok

14/01/2026

i think the thing that keeps us alive most of the time was hope, and it stirs our mind the way we believe it gets better day by day. living—hoping that each days would suffice and the wounds will heal and never bleed again the same way it does last time. the one that hurts the most is believing the small ounce of hope that it will be better one day, that despite all of the painful things that happened, there will be a day where the sun will kiss our skin lightly and it wouldn't hurt that much. or the nights will be a lot quieter and nightmares won't visit like how it haunts on a random day.

hoping lessen the burden and stich our scars together. hope becomes our foundation of things that we know we would lose, but despite that it still gives us will to live.

and those who have it not easier than it used to cling on the hope that maybe life will give them a little hope to continue—to never give up, because for a while hoping that it will better makes our smile wider than it used to be than yesterday.

i pray that our hope will reach us the way it should be. we hope because we believe life was not that cruel at all.

01/01/2026

i always thought that i am living differently from the things i hated. where anger is scattered through every bits of the soul i once hate. through the raising voices that made my young self flinch. i thought i am living far different from the person i hate, but yet i didn't notice i am becoming one day by day.

when my voice suddenly raise when i am mad, and i am livid when things don't go well, i mirror someone i hated for years. whenever i throw hurtful words without thinking, makes me wonder i am living through the soul i once cried oceans for. or when i couldn't swallow my pride and waited for them to hold me even though i was the hardest. i know i am becoming the person i curse to death. i am slowly evolving to the person that makes my childhood a nightmare, and can't help myself but curled up on the shadow thinking i failed. because all my life, i wanted and fought so hard to build a life where anger doesn't exist, and yelling isn't a normal thing. i had to remind myself to hold on to the painful things I've endured just because anger takes over.

i hope, i am not the person i hate the most. i wish i am not living this life escaping through the chasing shadows of someone i cried for more than fifteen years.

17/12/2025

i love you, my alex and ava✨✨

14/12/2025

inaantay mo rin kaya ako gaya ng paghihintay ko sayo? o naka usad kana at naiwan ako?

naaalala mo parin kaya ako, kahit limang taon na simula noong nangyari ’yon? o hindi man lang dumaan sa isip mo kung paano ako pagkatapos ng lahat. baka inisip mo kaya ko naman, o baka naisip mo na hindi naman ako ganong mahihirapan. ang lakas ko parin siguro sa paningin mo, kaya hindi ka nahirapan na iwan ako. kasi ako, kahit ilang taon na naaalala ko parin. nandito ka parin, sa bawat sulok, bawat kanta, at bawat pahina na pinili kong isulat. hinding-hindi mo gustong makalinutan kita.

hindi siguro masakit kaya hindi kana bumalik. hindi siguro mahirap kaya hindi mo naman na ako hinanap. kung pwede lang, hindi na sana kita maisip, hindi ko sana maisip kung naaalala mo parin kaya ako, ako kasi palagi. palagi kang nandito, kaya palaging masakit. palaging mahirap. kung umusad man ako at bumalik ka, sana alam mo na nahirapan ako ng sobra, na iniyak ko lahat hangang sa ayaw ko na.

kung babalik ka, sana hindi nalang.

12/12/2025

i am lucky i met you, it was a prayer to be loved by you.

Indirizzo

Florence

Sito Web

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