13/05/2026
Actually on the verge of a menty b because why did my car suddenly decide tonight was the perfect night to light up the dashboard like a Christmas tree from hell. I’m literally just trying to drive home peacefully and suddenly every warning light known to mankind starts glowing at me at once. Airbag light. Brake light. Some weird symbol that looked spiritually threatening. At this point the car wasn’t even communicating anymore it was casting spells.
Then my friend in the passenger seat keeps making it worse talking about “uhhh I don’t think that’s supposed to do that.” THANK YOU MECHANIC MIKE I HAD NO IDEA. Meanwhile the car was driving completely normal which somehow made it scarier because now I’m wondering if it’s one of those situations where everything explodes without warning. I turned the music down so I could “listen to the engine” like I suddenly have magical car diagnosing abilities. Babe I don’t know what I’m listening for besides financial ruin.
What sent me over the edge was when I googled one of the warning lights at a red light and immediately saw forum posts saying things like “mine did this right before the transmission died.” Oh perfect. Love that for me. Suddenly every tiny sound in the car became suspicious. The AC? Too loud. Turn signal? Aggressive. I swear the steering wheel even felt emotionally different. Now I’m driving in complete silence gripping the wheel like I’m escorting a bomb across the city while my car casually racks up another mile acting innocent after psychologically attacking me for twenty straight minutes.