Creativitizzz

17/12/2024

"Diary of a tomboy"

Hi there, how are you? Long time ha?? Missed you.. Did you?? You know it's 1 year already since I got married. There are so many unspoken words I wanted to share with you. But I couldn't.
Life of a girl is so difficult right? Especially after marriage, life becomes so controlled. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Even in this hustle bustle...not a single human to whom I can pour my heart out. Something changed, I lost all my bro.. Few just parted away knowing I got married and few I just had to let go.
I search in the most crowded restrobars..where is she?? Where is the girl who used to dance on the floor like nobody is watching. Where is the girl who used to laugh like a demon?? Where is the girl who was the queen of sarcasm and who used to have the most dirtiest mind and not to forget the weirdest logic to things a normal human can perceive ever. Where is the girl?? Where is she?? Who was she??
The girl who was a kid but mature at the same time. The girl who used to listen her friends venting and commented the weirdest thing possible to make the smile and laugh.. Nobody cared to asked someone was lost.
Hmm.. Is this Adulting?? What do you say??
Have I become so matured...so matured that I am conscious about my own steps?? My own action?? Who is stopping me?? The world.. my naive husband.. Or me?? Myself??
If God pauses everyone..the time for everyone except me, will I be able to take advantage of that moment??
Mr. Diary, I really miss bro. I miss the long nonsense meaningless talks. I don't know but sometimes I feel drinking up all of my stress and tensions and dependents only to be myself.. to be free.. to be able to stop time..and to dance.. once again.. dance like no one is watching... shout.... cry.. sing.. just be me. JUST BE ME

**************end***************

14/05/2023

"The Heartache"

Once there was a conversation between the soul and the heart. The heart complained of a terrible heartache. The soul said," hey go to the doctor. Why did u come to me?"
"No man tis not that pain"
"Then?"
"It feels as if thousands needle stuck in me. It feels as if I am having a clot and want to vomit."
"Oh..!! It's that serious? What happened this time?"
"Nothing. Everything is fine. Everything is good."
"I know"
"So??"
"So..nothing" .the sudden silence was broken by the clock's hand..
"Till when?? Untill when?? Will there be anyone who will care for me for real, like genuine love?".another dead silence..
Tiptop tiptop..the sound of 4 legged creatures comes ..and slurrpp!!
Oh! That big wet tongue...
The soul smiles..and so did the heart..

28/05/2021

" The unspoken words: letter to father"

Dear Dad,

I am sorry. I am sorry to not understand you. I am sorry to blame you. I am sorry for all the wishes I made against you. I am sorry..

Since childhood I have been always looking up to you. I hoped love and care and constantly compared you to my friends' father. I complained that why my father is like this. But today I understand that you were always right.

My mom cried stating how you treated her. I blamed you for not giving her the love she deserved. But today I understand how lucky she is. Today I understand that you might not show the love and care but you do love and care the most.

I blamed you to be rude. But I now understand the purpose of your rudeness. Today I understand all your unspoken and hidden feelings. I understand all your actions were meant only to push me, our family far, so far that they become self dependent. I understand that you have the least expectations, and your anger is the result of not getting the least expectations you had.

I love you dad and I miss you a lot. I wish I have the least courage to hug you and say thank you. I hope to hug you and cry. I hope to just say I love you. And I am proud to be your daughter.

18/08/2020

"A trip to heaven"

Susanne, a beautiful young lady, in her mid twenties, is very happy today. Today is her birthday and she is turning 28 years old. The whole day passed with all the birthday wishes but she waited for this moment.

Her sister planned a surpise party with her favourite birthday cake. But Susanne had some plans. She wanted to see Jeremy first. She wanted to cut the cake and give him the first bite. She loved him so much. Her sister, Jenny shouted,
" C'mon, don't do this to me. Your worthless boyfriend does not even remember your birthday and you are making this cake of pure love to wait for that scoundrel!! "
"No. It's not like that. He has been busy these week..I will go, check on him. M sure my birthday present is on his office table. I will just come. Give me 15 mins. "

She went and Jenny got a call from the hospital. Her sister met with an accident.

It's been 1 week. The place is so pure, so beautiful and people here are so beautiful. They love the colour white and golden. The whole place is painted in white.

"It's time for you to return. It's already 1 week"
" But I don't want to return. "
"Why? "
"Because I love this place. "
"Or is it because you love me? See, here we are not allowed to make love with souls. "

She lifts her up head. Tears flowing from her eyes. She looks directly in the eyes of the angel. Holds his hands.
" Nothing is left in earth. What will I do there? "
"Why? "
"That day, when I reached Jeremy's office, I expected a birthday present. But I saw a wedding card. I thought it was a surprise for me. I opened it and my name was not there on it. My boyfriend is marrying my sister in 2 weeks. How can he do that? How can she do that? "
" That day, I was destined to die, I am sure the cake had poison. How can someone fake love? "
"I don't have anyone. I am all alone. My parents are divorced and don't care. I don't have a single friend who genuinely cares about me. They just come to me when they need me. I genuinely loved Jeremy. I cared about my sister. "
"I was not supposed to get in coma. "

The angel hugged Susanne. "We cannot do this. Your time of death have not come. You have unfinished business there. You have to love yourself. We cannot take you in here before time. It's time for you to wake up. "
" Okay, I agree. But what will I do by loving myself? I still need someone beside me. Right? Why don't you understand. I don't want to wake up and see their faces. "
"When you wakeup you won't remember anything. It would be a new life to you. "
" I don't want that. I cannot let them continue showing fake love and care. Please. Save me. "

It's been 3 years now. Susanne is still in a vegetative state. Only her sister visits her. Once in every year. Only on her Birthday.

06/03/2020

" A textrovert "

I..I am a textrovert. And what does this mean? Well google defines, "Textrovert is someone who is expressive and funny in texts but shy in person." And yeah, our community is growing rapidly nowadays.

I was never like this before. I was a happy extrovert, enjoying my life to the fullest untill love struck me. Yeah, like a thunder and it burned me. I was in a relationship where the ideal couples were not shahrukh-Gauri. It was Akshay-Twinkle and the reason why was as Twinkle I was an extrovert. I was pushed, pulled and moulded into an introvert in a relationship of 3 years.

I have few best friends. The ceiling of my room, the pillow, my teddy, and my phone. The four walls know me more than my fiance knows me.

I am on a dinner date today. My fiance, oh! Such a romantic person he is, playing with my hair. His hand is so soft, his fingers, shining as if just out of the manicure machine. His chest, all pumped up with all those weight training, giving my head a nice support. He is so amazing. I feel so calm, stressfree in his arm. I have a surprise for him.

"Surprise! Let's drink today till hearts content. I brought your favourite scotch. "

"Wow! You remember. But baby, you could have told me, I would have bought it on the way. Why did you take so much pain. "

"Just to see your expression and that smile. "

We kissed, may be the longest and passionate kiss ever.

I went to take a quick shower, thinking all the way, "today I will tell him. All my feelings, everything to him. I will make it the most beautiful night ever. "

"Surprise!! It's my time now. Your favourite prawn. "

"Wow!! "

1 glass down, 2 glass down, ... 6 glass down. He has become a infant baby, kissing me all over, hugging me. But I am not drunk. I did not tell him. I could not tell him. All those words, those feelings, those stories.. It's still inside..

So, I wanted to be a tipsy cute little babe but I am all intoxicated by my fiance's love. While the silk strings of my gown starts to untie itself, here I am still an textrovert typing typing and typing. The symphony of the clicks of my g-board getting into my ear..

Adieu, my friends, the wall, the pillow, the teddy, the ceiling, I will comeback tomorrow to share more stories with you.

Congratulations! Google, now you are my best friend too because you know my feelings, my stories, my darkest secrets. It's all within you. In that small little draft of gmail.

22/11/2019

"Purano sei diner kotha"

Susan is sitting on her bed, on the radio, the rj played an old song, "purano sei diner kotha.. Bhul hi kire hai.. "
Suddenly her rosy cheeks felt the warmth of dropping tears. Yes, she was crying. There was a smile in her face, but her eyes were wet.
Raj got up, and said, " Why are you crying? Until when will you cry? I think you should move on now. "
Susan wiped the tears. She smiled again, and said, " I already moved on 6 years back. I just miss him because, he was the only one who had seen the real me. I could not fake in front of him. After him, I did not found anyone to show my real self. Even my parents don't know the real me. "
"Do you want tea? "
"Yes, with ginger. "
She got up and went to the kitchen while he wondered, what did she just say? True, false.. She has gone mad.

People are multifaced nowadays. Google and quotations define double faced people and multifaced people as bad. But, did anyone realize the reason of having this multiple faces?? Google is not right always.
Who was Susan? Is she crazy young girl in real or sober and mature lady in real. Raj does not know. I don't know either. It must be so difficult for Susan to fake always. Isnt it??

14/10/2019

23/09/2019

21/09/2019

A painting painted by God..

18/09/2019

" A letter for uncle Mark "

I am a cute, bald headed Nigerian girl. We were not that rich when I was a kid. I loved school then only because they gave meat along with bread. I used to write and use the notebooks left by my cousins, uncles, aunties, father, mother and the list goes on. Oh yes, I used to use the unfinished pages. And this story goes back to when I was in class 8. Well well, that year, it was the turn of my uncle's old diary. Yes you read right. My uncle Mark who passed away the last month. One day, while doing homework, I came across a letter written to him by aunty Dia. You know, aunty Dia was really good in English but had awful handwriting. But, I read it.. (Chuckles). The letter starts..

"Dear Mark,

Where are you? How are you now? Did you really forget me Mark? Mark, I miss you mark. I love you. I love you a lot. Don't you know that Mark? You could have fought a little more harder.

Mark, I tried to move on. But trust me, I couldn't. You haunt me. Your smiles haunt me. The way you played with my hair, haunts me. The way you hold my hand in public haunts me. The forehead kisses haunt me. The kiss on my hand haunts me. I just can't take it anymore Mark. I never thought that I will be away from you someday.

Do, you know I went to blind dates? I tried to forget you. I logged in every dating site. But, I couldn't remove you from my heart. I right swiped a boy just because he resembled you. He had curly hairs just like you. He had brown eyes just like you. I right swiped a boy just because his voice was like you. His ascent was like you. I right swiped a boy just because he was helpful in nature, just like you. He used to help poor and needy people. I am searching you in bits and pieces everywhere. But, my heart wants you as a whole.

Situations were against us. Destiny made us apart. But, you could fight Mark. I was ready to fight. You know that. Being apart was neither your fault nor mine. I understand. It's been 6 years but I still feel you.

Whenever I close my eyes, I can feel your touch. Your fingers playing with my hairs. I love you Mark. I love you a lot.

Yours love,
Dia"

Suddenly I started to cry. I ran to my mother. I asked her about aunty Dia. My mother nodded and told, "you know this, fine but don't tell anyone. Give me the letter. I will tear it and throw it. "
My mother took the letter and disposed it. I was a kid. Still, I wondered what ifs. What if uncle and aunty got married. What if he ran away with aunty Dia? Was my uncle so sad inside? Is this is the only reason that he did not marry to other aunties? Was he so lonely? Did he cry till his last breath??