28/02/2012
Due to the damage of property @ TAPAN THEATRE during PIT IV and PIT V, and owing to the chaos which occurred @ MOULALI YUVA KENDRA a couple of months back - the management of UTTAM MANCHA (directly under the purview of the West Bengal Government) has insisted that a section of the Tollygunge Police Force be present during THE PIT v.6
So this here is a gentle warning to all our fellow metal-heads planning to attend PIT v.6 - from your friendly neighborhood PIT CREW:
-- if you are caught smoking ni****ne inside UTTAM MANCHA, then we shall set your BUTT on fire and have you kicked out of the venue
-- if you are caught drinking alcohol inside UTTAM MANCHA, then we shall stick the bottle up your ass and also kick you out for good measure
-- if you are caught smoking w**d inside UTTAM MANCHA then you will be thrown out and you would also PROBABLY end up spending the rest of the afternoon/evening head-banging inside the Tollygunge Police Thana lock-up
-- if you are caught smoking w**d OUTSIDE UTTAM MANCHA then your friendly neighborhood policeman will PROBABLY send you to the Tollygunge Police Thana lock-up, where chances of you being sodomized by Ramu, Chhote Lal and Ali Haider are 100-to-1
-- if you feel h***y and feel like indulging in some back-seat carnal fun, then don't - the chances of the official PIT photographer capturing your moment of lust and posting it on FACEBOOK is very very high. Plus we'll send you flying out of the venue with your pants down (male/female irrespective)
-- and lastly IF you are caught damaging any of the UTTAM MANCHA property then we will lock you up inside the green room UNTIL you cough up the estimated 5000 bucks required by us to repay damage expenses to the venue's management
So please heed these notes of caution from your friendly neighborhood PIT CREW - and lets all make THE PIT v.6 a success.
\m/
