Autist At Work

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Autist At Work Autistic & ADHD Ma research Student: studying the intersection of performance art and neurodivergence at University of Birmingham. P/T Support Worker.

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Fractured leaf, stopped in time, stripped of its greeness, like a silken robe deteriorating, threadbare, fragility expos...
08/10/2026

Fractured leaf, stopped in time, stripped of its greeness, like a silken robe deteriorating, threadbare, fragility exposed, life-force dissolving.

The beauty I noticed on my health walk in Collett Park today, from leaves with pearls of moisture on them to leaves, de...
06/10/2026

The beauty I noticed on my health walk in Collett Park today, from leaves with pearls of moisture on them to leaves, decaying and exposing their delicate skeletons.

06/10/2026

A message to my doctor, perhaps you might need to use it yourself? Please do, if you feel unheard.

A gentleman asked, "Do you reward yourself with a piece of cake each time you finish a book?" In a friendly manner.I won...
04/10/2026

A gentleman asked, "Do you reward yourself with a piece of cake each time you finish a book?" In a friendly manner.
I wondered if my body looked the way one would expect if that were true, as I had 3 books on my table that I had finished with. (That thought was my own, not implied by the gentleman in any way).
I replied, "No, it's for completing a section of writing."
He asked if I were a writer, I explained that it was for my research, I ended up explaining:
" I am researching the interesction between performance art and autism and other neurodivergences, such as ADHD, dylexia, laeft-handedness and so on. I am exploring how society's thinking can be shifted from thinking about autism through a pathological paradigm and medicalised diagnosis through deficit-based language and understanding it through a more positive lens, such as the neurodiversity affirming paradigm".
I was in my safe place talking about my interests and wondered aloud why I hadn't just written all of that down. He told me "Write it down now." But I knew I had already written what I had needed to about dr Aby Watson and her positive attitude towards her different diagnosis and how there are parallels between the neurodiversity movement and the campaigns for other shifts in attitudes in other minority groups, where difference such as cultural, gender or sexuality are celebrated and we move from a position of oppression to celebration. With quotations from Judy Singer Nick Walker and Robert Chapman.
Special thanks to The Cheek Bean for refuelling me and being amazing. 😊
Now to eat that lush looking cake!

She's adorable...I am discombobulated. Who are these people who deal with illness so gracefully, so quietly, with such d...
06/09/2026

She's adorable...I am discombobulated. Who are these people who deal with illness so gracefully, so quietly, with such dignity? Here I am wondering if my larynx pain is psychological or if it is so bad, I'll have to have it cut out. Am I sweating because of menopause, or am I ill? I crash out on the sofa after only having walked to the car, been driven by my youngest to a deli, choosing a few items and then being driven back again. Having something to eat. Then crash. I am trying to see if I can do little bits of work. The person I support was promised a book of their photos that they have collected over the years. Little by little in chunks I have tried to chip away and get this done. The damaged photos have been repaired and the pen marks have mostly been removed. I had imagined us designing the book together but as I am off sick and my abilities and bandwidth are lowered, I have made a plain design that just presents their photos in a way that they will be looked after, I hope. I need a website for my MA. I have designed lots of websites before but due to the reduced bandwidth and energy, I need something that does what I want it to and I can design on my phone and is low cost. I haven't found the right platform yet and in my conversations with microsoft co pilot it is so friendly, chatty and optimistic it is putting me off. I was trying to embrace the silence of my voice and now I have begun talking again, I am still hoarse and it is painful...and can I use less words? NO! Just in case I have to have my larynx cut out I looked up inspirational people that have had their larynx cut out. Oh, the reality of it made me sad. Logically, you don't worry about these things until they happen and when they happen you accept it with good grace and cherish what you have, not what you do not. Yet my good grace is failing me and my 'what if' scenarios are taking over. I want to go back to work and get on with stuff but I don't think I'd even last an hour doing support work. They'd probably have to tuck me up in bed, or encourage me to do things. I know, I know, I have to look after myself first so that I can look after others. Wish I could be more stoic, like my Mum!

The voice has been used. I started yesterday. But it hurts and it is croaky, even after resting it since August 19th. Wh...
04/09/2026

The voice has been used. I started yesterday. But it hurts and it is croaky, even after resting it since August 19th. When I speak, I have too many words and I am definitely speaking too much for my voice. I've been speaking too much for everyone else for years, (I know). So, the middle ground would be speaking less, to preserve my voice and only use it when necessary but I can only either go full blast ahead or go fully silent and speak in mime. I have spoken too much today and now it hurts. What would you do?

Was it something I said? Nope...in this phase of enforced silence by my obstinate larynx, I remember all the names, chat...
31/08/2026

Was it something I said? Nope...in this phase of enforced silence by my obstinate larynx, I remember all the names, chatterbox, motor mouth, big mouth, blabber mouth...saying the wrong things at the wrong times...I think I have probably done one hundred years of talking in 56 years...or maybe even a thousand years of talking! Whatever it is, the silence of my still tongue is profoundly loud and it allows space in my head to think all kinds of thoughts. Thoughts I can't even describe because they go off into the realms of dreamlike images that I can't even explain. I am trying to be good at resting but it is frustrating...I feel trapped, unable and yet if I could only just allow myself time and space to rest...at the beginning, it was a relief not to talk...now my hands feel clumsy, they can't explain my every thought...but maybe explaining every thought is not what is meant to happen...no filter Karen...I have a massive filter on me now. Maybe it's better for the world like this...as my words take up less space outside, my inner world and thoughts expand.

This precious creature has been extra attentive, lying by my side and making sure that I am ok, while I purposefully res...
30/08/2026

This precious creature has been extra attentive, lying by my side and making sure that I am ok, while I purposefully rest. It was her guesstimated birthday the other day and she is now 2 years old! So she got some special treats, a new tunnel and a new toy too. She is a very gorgeous darling. I have been trying to use my voice a little. In the morning, I'd say her name, gently (not whispering, I know that makes it worse)...but my voice would be too sore to continue. I will be patient though...my vocal chords feel so rough and sore and dry, I imagine them rubbing together all jagged and ragged...best to maintain my quiet for a bit longer I expect. I didn't listen to my body properly and now it has screeched on the breaks of its own accord. It forced me to stop and to take heed. Stopping now and taking care of myself means I will get properly well again...(just saying that to remind myself).

Looking at the sea is healing but not as healing as I had hoped. Stuck between trying to rest and frustration, trying to...
27/08/2026

Looking at the sea is healing but not as healing as I had hoped.
Stuck between trying to rest and frustration, trying to find balance and keep things from collapsing but trying to heal. How much is too much, how much too little?

The solar eclipse viewed through slithers of lights in the shadows. I have been ill on and off since the end of June, so...
12/08/2026

The solar eclipse viewed through slithers of lights in the shadows. I have been ill on and off since the end of June, so haven't been on the case to get glasses, make a cardboard pinhole thingy or whatever, so went into my garden to see if I could spot it in the shadows. Not as pretty as the other pictures I've seen posted but it was still exciting, for me at least.

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