02/06/2026
Many moons ago, I was a photographic assistant and becoming a photographer. I was studying a photographic degree at The University of Westminster. I didn't complete the degree and shortly after withdrawing from it, I had a breakdown. Fast forward to now and my youngest son is studying for his photography A level and so passionate is he about photography, that he is interested in my photographic past. Yesterday, we visited and the Henry Fox-Talbot museum of photography and sat in the botanical gardens where we talked about the black and white photographs I took for my degree, I explained how I made 16 x 20 prints of them and then painted over them in blocks of colour. My son has been trying to encourage me to pick up a camera loaded with black and white film, to take pictures and then develop them. I imagined using XP2 film with its fine grain, almost invisible and its wide and forgiving exposure latitude. Today, I was talking to my study mentor about the degree I am doing now, an MA in research looking at the pathology of autism through performance art and as I was talking to her, images flashed through my mind of my old pictures from before my breakdown, my curled up body, wearing only DMs, with splashes of purple paint around the form and the pictures I could take in black and white now, my body in bandages and the performative action of painting over huge prints. Black and white photography could be combined into the piece I am making about the pathologisation of autism, when I make my film, merging images and film together. Using my photography could help me to express myself differently. Black and white images are a step away from reality, I feel the subject is elevated and the eye drawn to other details such as shape, form, structure and texture, colour although enjoyable can be overwhelming, black and white is selective and like lighting in the theatre controls what the viewer sees. I am excited about combining photography and performance in the piece that I create. My study mentor said I might not remember all this and I should write it down. So I have now.
