31/08/2026
Was it something I said? Nope...in this phase of enforced silence by my obstinate larynx, I remember all the names, chatterbox, motor mouth, big mouth, blabber mouth...saying the wrong things at the wrong times...I think I have probably done one hundred years of talking in 56 years...or maybe even a thousand years of talking! Whatever it is, the silence of my still tongue is profoundly loud and it allows space in my head to think all kinds of thoughts. Thoughts I can't even describe because they go off into the realms of dreamlike images that I can't even explain. I am trying to be good at resting but it is frustrating...I feel trapped, unable and yet if I could only just allow myself time and space to rest...at the beginning, it was a relief not to talk...now my hands feel clumsy, they can't explain my every thought...but maybe explaining every thought is not what is meant to happen...no filter Karen...I have a massive filter on me now. Maybe it's better for the world like this...as my words take up less space outside, my inner world and thoughts expand.