16/09/2026
Hi guys. Welcome to my channel.
I’m going to talk to you about lecturing. That’s L-E-C-T-U-R-E, as opposed to L-E-C-H-E-R, which is something completely different.
In the background of this exciting speech, you’re going to see some of the places where I’ve lectured over the years. Because yes, my little cuddlies, I am a registered Art Society lecturer.
Now you might ask yourself what on earth the Art Society, a distinguished organisation going back almost to the times of William the Conqueror, would have to do with a loser like me.
Well, of course, it’s the theme of my lectures, which is all to do with - yes, you’ve guessed it - faking and Oleksandr Bohomazov.
I have lectured the world over: New Zealand, the United States, Europe, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Darlington and, of course, the Home Counties.
What distinguishes my regular audience is, let’s be honest, its age. I reckon the average age of those who have to sit through 50 minutes of me whining about fakes is roughly 432. That’s a slight exaggeration, but I think the number eight might feature fairly close to the average age.
But by and large, oh my God, these audiences are completely wonderful. They laugh at all my jokes, which is more than my three followers on Instagram do. They are immensely polite and utterly charming.
At my last lecture at the Ballinger Art Society in scenic Great Missenden, I was asked one of the cleverest questions I’ve ever been asked. It came when I listed all the “experts” - ah, I use the word advisedly. It’s a word laced with irony.
There have been numerous experts who are utterly, utterly compromised. I could name them, but I’m frightened of a visit from the Thought Police.
Oh, and before I am accused of being trite and frivolous, I have lectured at the Royal Academy, the Tretyakov Gallery and, God help us, Sotheby’s Institite. Pay is crap, but the conditions are good.
So enjoy the slideshow, guys.
All the best,
James