23/06/2026
Yo!
So due to the heat on Thursday, Alfies prom, lazy staff, air con costs, Starmer resigning, I tripped on a kirb, the world cup, Borat, price of a pint, the store will be CLOSED!
ALL DAY THURSDAY. OPEN AS NORMAL REST OF THE WEEK.
CLOSED THURSDAY! THE SUN N THAT.
Me, Scottish, sweat, sun burn when I open the fridge, obesity, half ginger, list goes on.
So to sum up, we will be closed this Thursday. Its hot. Too hot. Hotter than something thats really really hot.
Staff will be paid anyway.
No they won't. But they won't scroll this far. They'll read that and celebrate. Message each other and stuff. LOSERS!!!
If you have read this, you know im joking.
Im not joking.