18/03/2024
Great review from the Northern Scot paper
As a man, I was apprehensive about attending the first event, not because I was scared of the word va**na and the content matter, but rather I simply did not know what to expect.
I was blown away by the production by VM Moray - 20 years after their last performance.
The cast delivered a warm, engaging, harrowing and hysterically funny series of monologues on Saturday night.
The production team of Lorna Creswell, Ruth Boardman (the director), Jennifer Matheson and Jacqui Jones should be proud of what they achieved.
A packed town hall (99% of the audience were women) roared with laughter at some of the funnier monologues, including the hilarious one where members of the cast went around Moray with the different names locally for va**na.
The sexual language wasn't for the faint-hearted, and there were moments when I felt uncomfortable, almost as if I was a man in a women's world, but this was far outweighed by the enjoyment and education I took away from the performance.
The event was raising money for Moray R**e Crisis and there were monologues which were very tough to listen to with darker stories of r**e and sexual violence.
Those included Amy's story (not her real name) who has been supported by Moray R**e Crisis and was keen for her story to be heard.
"Pushed out, locked out, I walked, barefoot, without clothes".
Amy returned to a violent partner who tried to blame her for his actions.
"He disnae mean it. He needs me. He says he'll change. It was my fault because I didn't have the tea ready, have his clothes sorted. He bought me a lovely bag and said he was sorry. He needs me, it was my fault".
Amy struggled to leave but finally found the strength.
"What does it take for us to realise that the art of survival isn't about going back for more beatings, more abuse, more humiliation, more r**e - it's about building the life we deserve."
Amy met Jane (also not her real name) in a refuge. She had been beaten and thrashed by her partner but blamed herself. Three times she came to the refuge battered and three times she went back. The last time, he killed her.
Amy said: "I can't stop thinking about Jane. This is why I need to tell my story. If I can support one other person not to be killed by an abusive partner, my dream will have come true."
Amy urges others to seek help and reach out to Moray R**e Crisis, like she did but only after carrying the pain "inside my brain and body for 20 years".
And she adds:
We are not responsible for our man's actions
We are responsible for ours
Get help. Help is there
Stay alive - in a good life
In a life you deserve
I've taken back the power
Now you take back yours
In her programme notes, Ruth Boardman said: "The word va**na has a powerful effect on women and not in the way you might expect.
"It is a trigger to liberation, often giving access and release to a flood of supressed memories and experiences. And to the courage to express them."
She said the show was a "celebration of brave, beautiful and unapologetic women".
"We celebrate those who suffered and endured and supported each other. We remember those who didn't live to tell their stories. We celebrate those who survived to embrace a new life, often against overwhelming odds."
The Moray production of American playwright Eve Ensler's 1988 Va**na Monologues was a terrific and reflective experience to go through as a man. I can't really imagine what it was like for the hundreds of women there.
