17/06/2026
This time last year I was struggling. A LOT. I was deeply depressed and had so much fear. I didn't know what was happening to me.
I have worked with autistic people my whole life (not on purpose... It's like gaydar for neurodivergence... Neurodar!).
I have read books on autism, researched, spent countless hours with autistic kids and adults.
I've known I am autistic for about 8 years now. But for some reason, my own autism didn't become my special interest... I was more interested in other people's.
Maybe because I didn't see it as a problem.
It still isn't a problem. But this world can be hard to live in for brains and (I think more) nervous systems like ours. We're taking on so much more information than 'neurotypical' people. Our nervous systems are under huge stress. And then the combination of trauma and autism/ADHD/AuDHD.... Weesh. It's no wonder I crashed and burned.
Last night I went back to this pool (one of my favorite places on earth) and celebrated still being here. Having gone through hell and survived. Stronger. With more understanding.
This knowledge is useful for me personally and also in my work.
I know what it's like not to be able to speak.
To have sensory difficulties so bad you feel like you're going to explode or tear your skin off.
To have to watch your energy carefully and be so careful of who you spend time with.
To have to set alarms to remind you to eat and go to the toilet.
It's a whole thing! I'm so grateful for this learning. It has come at great cost. But I am grateful.
