31/12/2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR,
George Osborne, The UK's Chancellor Of the Exchequer's NEW YEAR announcement on the Fiscal plan which will take the UK from a deep red to a very light blue in 2013 has caught the 'Child Labour Party' by surprise. Ed Miliband is even threatening to become a Catholic and migrate to the Vatican - the last bastion of Jewish piety in Europe.
The new Government issued credit card, thought to be entitled 'Fiscal Saviour' will be issued to all UK Citizens in January whether they want it or not. They do not have to use it, but it will have a £30,000 limit sitting temptingly on it.
Those who have resident status will get the card also, and those with no status at ' Mum's the word' can also have the card if they ask. The same limit will apply and no questions asked by the Government as to status no qualifications needed for to have either card issued. Not even a job.
The card is expected to raise £400 Billion in the first year.
At first it sounds like 'Madness in Threadneedle Street' or as 'Gertie Schlesinger' of the Sun calls it, 'Downing Street Psychosis.'
Okay, Smarty pants Osborne - now nicknamed 'Sir Guy of Gisborne after the Robin Hood Hunter who lost his head chasing the poor to feed the rich.
The catch is THIS. 50% interest on all money spent on the card.
Crazy. Who would really use such a card? Ah. Wrong again. Anyone who sat on that kind of money and was going broke or up against the financial wall, that's who! The temptation would be too much. Consider at Xmas time 46% of people bought all their gifts on their credit cards and it is estimated that half, at least, will never be able to pay those cards off. In a country of addicted retail shoppers Osborne's plan/ploy cannot fail. Which will be, according to statistics, involve over in 60% of the population at some point in 2013.
But, how would the Government collect unpaid card debts?
Therin lies an even BIGGER catch. 'The Organ Grinder Principle.'
For every unpaid debt the deal with card issued by the 'Downing Street Devil' would mean an organ would be taken from the debtor and placed on the highly lucrative international organ exchanges in Beijing, Pyongyang and Mumbai.
Would the British Public fall for this highly immoral scheme and even if they did - in order to feed their loved ones or feed their addiction, what would stop them from skipping and doing a runner to another country?
Every card issued will be tagged and kept track of by Satellite tracking. The latest GPS technology will watch every card and when a card goes into an exclusion, or potential 'runner Zone.' Agents will move in take the card and... 'goodbye to an Organ.'
This is really Great Big Brother? Ah. Even more so! As every single relative in the family would be involved, not just siblings, but Aunts, Uncles and even cousins, as there would be a fat finders fee for snitching those thought to be about to hit the toe.
Passports of non-residents? Same thing. All tagged and tracked, so go near an Airport and be in debt on the card and one of your organs will be flying out instead of you.
The Chancellor says that dramatic methods are need and this will eventual clear all debts and put the UK back in the fiscal black zone and, furthermore says 'Sir Guy of Gisborne,' now is the time to Grind out a solution at a very Basic Organic level.
Is there no mercy at all in this disgusting plan? Yes, there is one concession. Osborne says he is not entirely heartless. Even though hearts are the best selling organs on the planet.
Banks for Kidneys, Bladders, Scrotums, Ovaries, Eyes, and Liver seem destined to infest the City of London and the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street will have its organ coffers full, but in respect for the major organ, hearts will be kept in a sealed section of Buckingham Palace giving the 'donor' a feeling of temporarily being a part of the privileged class in death.
