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tinta y pluma

a medley of hues, darkness, and rippled thoughts. my sanctuary— a safe haven. hello, you. ♡

06/02/2024

i sometimes find myself pondering on the enormity of life, wondering if the struggles and sacrifices i made have really been worthwhile. it feels like i’m lost in a thick fog, that with every step i take, i’m wading in treacle and confusion casting long shadows over my path. yet, even in the thick of the fog’s suffocating grasp, a glimmer of optimism still lingers within. whispering stories of resiliency and triumph, pushing me to continue despite the doubts that threaten my will to succeed. and now, i am yearning for the fulfillment of my desires with a passion that ignites the very depths of my being. soon... i hope i get what i want.

12/01/2024

❤️‍🔥 𝗦𝗨𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚, 𝗛𝗨𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗔!

I believe our journey deserves a lengthy post, but I’m too shy to post this on my main account, so here it is.

At first, I knew most of us were in it for the grade. Maraming napipilitan lang magpractice, pero umaattend pa rin kasi takot bumaba ang grade. May iilang wala talagang takot at umaabsent talaga, kung hindi naman absent, late. Medyo nagkakaproblema kasi never tayong nakumpleto sa practice. After multiple practices, nabubuo na natin ‘yung sayaw at ‘yung mga absent ay minsan dalawa nalang o tatlo, though marami pa rin ang nalalate, pero a little spirit to win is finally there. Sayang nga naman ang pagod kung hindi mananalo, diba?

Then, the competition is quickly approaching, medyo malinis at napolish na natin ang steps. Ang problema naman ngayon ay yung mga props. No concrete plan for it. I still recall the moment when we saw the props of other sections and felt under pressure, 3 days nalang bago magcompetition noon, at hindi na kaya mageffort nang sobra kaya no choice na tapusin ang nasimulan. Wala pang back-drop, wala pang skirts yung iba, wala pang headdress, nagkakaubusan ng straw at sako. Marami rin tayong naririnig na magaling din ang ibang sections at sobrang energetic nilang sumayaw, kaya ‘yung spirit na manalo nung mga nakaraang araw, nawala ulit.

Pero, sino ba sa section na ‘to ang nagpapatalo? As soon as we heard other people saying that we would lose, we became driven to win just to prove them wrong. The determination is there again until last practice.

Araw na ng competition. Okay na lahat, kabisado na ang steps, may props na, nagawan na ng paraan ‘yung back-drop. Magpeperform nalang. Alam ko wala na tayong iniisip lahat nung sumasayaw, ngumiti nalang tayo at ginawa ang lahat. “Last na naman ‘to,” sabi nga natin, why not do our best? Ang iba siguro satin ay hindi na nagexpect kasi magaling talaga ang dalawang section nating kalaban, pero at least tapos na at alam nating binigay natin ang lahat.

“Sila po ay dating Foxtrot,” this is the line that was mentioned when announcing who’s the winner in our strand. Sobrang saya at sobrang sulit ng pagod, iyak, at pagoovethink. Sobrang nakakaproud. Kung pwede lang irelive ang moment na ‘yon, sure akong paulit-ulit na nating ginawa.

Tayo ang naging representative ng strand natin para sa finals. Ramdam na ramdam natin ang support ng dalawang sections, which si Gandhi at Heidegger, syempre pati ng mga teachers natin na sina Ma’am Jhen at Ma’am Joms. Sobrang gusto nating magchampion, kaya gumawa tayo ng paraan para magimprove lahat, kaya iniba natin ‘yung steps. There’s no harm in trying, ika nga nila, kaya nagtry talaga tayong magpakita ng something different. Kaso, 2 days lang ang meron tayo kaya hindi napolish ang steps. Nagpractice tayo before our performance, pero syempre, hindi maiiwasan ang pagkakamali. Probably also caused by fatigue and body pain, as well as lack of time. But, everything happens for a reason. So, that’s okay. At least umabot ng finals.

Karamihan satin ayaw nang bumaba nung iaannounce na kung sino ang mga nanalo, pero dahil nga malalakas ang loob natin, bumaba pa rin at sinabing tanggapin nalang if ever mang hindi marinig ang pangalan ng section natin. Nung iaannounce na ang 3rd placer, sigurado akong lahat tayo nakatulala. Nung narinig natin ang, “Freud!” lahat siguro tayo noon ay gulat na gulat. Sobrang sulit na nagkaroon tayo ng Special Awardees, pag-akyat sa third floor nang masakit ang paa, paglakad papunta sa court kung san mang location tayo magpractice. Biggest plot twist ever.

Tara, practice na tayo for One Act Play! 😄

01/12/2023

at nung sumandal sa balikat ko,
saka ko lang napagtanto,
hindi naman pala ganoon kabigat ang mundo

25/11/2023

if i could give you one thing in my life,
i’d give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes,
only then you realized how special you are to me

(c)

19/11/2023

in a parallel universe,
you are peeling my oranges
and would probably
give me the whole thing,
but i would insist
i should also give you a half

i stay up each morning,
mourn the girl i could’ve been
if you are here to peel my oranges
and here i am,
wishing that i never figure out how to peel it
so you could come back and help me

14/11/2023

🫧 *･῾ ᵎ 💭 ♡‧₊˚ 𓇼 📓 ₊˙ ◌ ❊ 🎧

i am just a girl. a girl whose ideal existence would be as tranquil as the sound of ocean waves. in my utopia, each spoken word that comes out of my mouth would be as dulcet as the goodies charlie made in his factory. just like the other girls, i have a daily mantra.

01. to be the epitome of fashion and to have an elevated standard for men just like 𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒉𝒐𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒛. she is not only that, but she is a friend. a daughter. she believes that everyone in her immediate vicinity is unique, hence, she strives to be a stellar friend, daughter, and individual. i want to be kind, just like her.

02. to seem like the glam-loving lawyer, 𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒐𝒅𝒔, who always walks with elegance and glity-shimmering apparel. she is aware of her value, too—that is, how she’s like a piece of gem that shouldn’t be held by just anybody.

03. to have the psyche and soul of a writer like 𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏, who puts her all into everything she does as well as someone who is eager to go above and beyond in order to achieve her goals in life. not putting down the pedals until she reaches where she’s headed; her desire destination. oh, to be in her shoes.

04. to burn my eyebrows just like 𝒓𝒐𝒓𝒚 𝒈𝒊𝒍𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆, i want to work even harder in my studies and read as many books as i can—albeit quickly. in order to meet the academic standards i have set for myself, i, too, must go far beyond what is expected. a career woman in the making. a woman destined for greatness.

11/11/2023

she’s like intricately layered and masterfully composed— a song that could silence a room. kind of melody that is so entrancing that it gently seeps into every corner of his mind, filling the voids between notion, and creating a kind of melody that makes everything around it seem better.

the bizarre part is, he’s never even heard her voice, but he always assumed that the words coming from her pen and hands were spoken with such grace and thoughtfulness. it seemed as though he heard a thousand of percussion clapping together in triumph. it’s making him shiver and warm at precisely the same time.

she is made of music that can uplift the arts, soothe a broken heart, and inspire even the most timid and unsure souls to dance fearlessly in the middle of the room. the sort of song that has such a profound effect on him that he can’t get rid of.

meanwhile, he resembles a ball of warmth. she pondered to herself, he’s like the one who’s too tall for her to even hold. he is the kind of guy that any person would go down in their knees. and her? she is merely there. admiring him as he performs with his band and sings.

he likes making music.
she likes listening to his music.

despite the fact that she is unable to hear any melody; the thought of him serves as a reminder that she is still capable of feeling things.

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