24/12/2023
This morning I realized that I have lost sight of the true North.
My gut feelings are telling me that I am where I am supposed to be, but the fog around is so dense I can barely see where I am standing. The more I cast a bright light the tighter the space around me becomes and more blinded by its reflection.
I am so proud of all the things accomplished and tough situations passed in the personal, family and professional realms, but this fog … this thick, a constant reshaping accumulation of moist that blurs my sight does not let me see clear.
I concentrate, I glare at it and through it and I get no visuals from beyond. No lights, no responses. Only the shape of a dark thick fog that is surrounding my existence.
My instincts are holding up in decent shape, but everything seems so artificial, so fake, so surface feelings like an old past season image on a Hallmark postcard on an aged, yellowish paper affected by the misted fog …
I keep looking around blinded by a non-corporeal moist eye white band, but it feels like, like, like everything surrounding me is man made. Nature has disappeared from my sight. I squat and I touch the ground. My feet are standing on a hard, cold, and grey paving. This fog is really taking my breath away!
I kneel on the floor tired. My shaking hands move around trying to disperse the dense air without results. I take a last glance within my reach … Yes. The fog …
Exhausted, I give up and I let myself go, laying slowly on the floor. The thought of “once there was a sky up there” crosses my mind. Now only fog …
No. No. NO! It cannot be! Is that also gone? My feelings tell me to stand up, to stop looking around and just look up.
I do. I do look up and I barely loose my breath when I discovered just one dim light, so feeble, so soft … I stretch my arms to the point where I can no longer see my hands. I reach out to the fog upward and I feel warmth on the tip of my fingers. Yes! YOU are there. My heart struggles with such strong emotions. “I’m here!” “Please, don’t let me go!” “Help me … please.”
The fog keeps hitting me harder and harder; but NO! I will not give up. I close my eyes and turn to myself. I pray in silence and the light starts shining again slowly from within. The fog does not bother me anymore. I walk a path no one can see but me and HIM. So be it.
In the spirit of the good things still around and those yet to come, I wish you all a lovely, warm and Merry Christmas!
The Light be with you, always!
(JP Sylvester)
