SILLY HUMOR

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SILLY HUMOR

humorous short stories

15/05/2026

What was the first thing Trump and Xi Jinping said to each other during the American president's official visit to China?

Jimping: Mr. Trump, where is your interpreter?

Trump: I don't need an interpreter. You can speak Chinese. I speak Chinese perfectly. Except for a few technical words.

Jimping: 哦真的嗎？我簡直不敢相信。

Trump: Txi pa lou tong xai kosiko so sa

Jimping: What did you say?

Trump: O si la kou pitiu kaso lakola

Jimping: I don't understand.

Trump: But man, don't you speak Chinese?

Jimping: 我是漢語文法書的作者。

Trump: Oi ja lush tin gol hus

Jimping: What?

Trump: Ha ja fe liko su lidi baru

Jimping: I don't understand.

Trump: You're the president of China and you don't understand Chinese? You should be ashamed of yourself.

Jimping: Where did you learn Chinese?

Trump: Everyone in America speaks Chinese. The secret is in pursing your lips. Like this, see? Li gu txi qun tan long. It's very easy. If you want, we can teach you. Marco! Rubio!

Rubio: Yes, Mr. President?

Trump: Teach this man Chinese, will you?

15/05/2026

What happened at the gala dinner hosted in Beijing by the Chinese president for president Trump?

Trump: Where are the forks, Rubio?

Rubio: I don't see any forks, Mr. President… Just these toothpicks.

Trump: Toothpicks, these sticks?... Ah, I see! You pierce the meat with the sticks!...

Rubio: Oops! But they don't pierce.

Trump: You have to sharpen them. Pass me the sharpener…

Rubio: Here you are, Mr. President.

Trump: What the…? This is bread, stupid!

Rubio: Well, I don't see a sharpener, Mr. President.

Trump: Waiter! The sharpener!

Waiter: Sharpener? What want sharpener for?

Trump: To sharpen these sticks.

Waiter: What want sharpen sticks for?

Trump: What do you think? To pierce the meat!

Waiter: Not pierce meat. You grab meat

Trump: Oh, I see, Rubio, you grab it with your fingers!... These Chinese are so uncivilized.

Rubio: Like in the Stone Age

09/05/2026

What did the N***s eat during WW2?

The following conversation between two SS officers was recorded in 1941 by an Allied spy in the Berlin restaurant preferred by the N**i leaders:

“Look at Goering. He’s fat like a zeppelin.”

“He has an obsession with German food.”

“What's wrong with German food?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing, it's just that all those sausages… Bratwursts, frankfurts, brühwursts, bockwursts… It's not a balanced diet”

“Maybe you would prefer a Jewish borscht…”

“Wha-what are you implying? I am German on all four sides. Can't a German like cabbage? Hi**er himself is a vegetarian."

“Are you kidding?”

“Here comes the waiter…”

"Okay, guys, what'll you have?"

“What does the führer usually have?”

“Raw beets. Raw cucumbers. Raw eggplants. Sometimes a cauliflower…”

“I thought that was for the inferior races.”

"On the contrary. Eating raw vegetables strengthens the A***n race and weakens the inferior races. War is not only fought on the front, you know!”

“Bring us some chard”

“Raw?”

"Of course!"

“A little boiled for me. I'm currently in the reserve, you know?”

09/05/2026

Was Himmler, to a large extent, the reason for the defeat of the N***s?

At the end of 1944 Himmler bet everything on a single card: the discovery of the Lance of Longinus. With his verbosity he convinced Hi**er that, to win the war, it was not necessary to do anything because an otter in the Teutoburg Forest had assured him that the Lance of Longinus was about to appear and that would change the course of the war. So all one had to do was wait. The two sat confidently in the Führerbunker to wait for the supernatural apparition. As the months passed, the thud of Allied bombing came closer and closer. In February of '45 Hi**er began to show signs of nervousness. Himmler's faith in the imminent apparition of the Lance, however, remained unshakable. One morning in early April, the two were sipping coffee while hearing the bombs falling. Suddenly Hi**er spat, dropped the newspaper and ran, calling for general mobilization... Pale, Himmler read the news: "Captured in the Teutoburg forest an allied spy disguised as an otter."

09/05/2026

Why does Hollywood star Angelina Jolie speak Russian? Are Angelina Jolie's father, mother or ancestors Russian?

This happened during the filming of 'Lara Croft: Tomb Raider.' Angelina was shooting the scene in which she climbs a pole to fight off the hysterical ants. Suddenly, instead of saying the line reviling the ants as planned in the script, she began to say incomprehensible things. The director interrupted filming, fearing that Angelina had suffered a stroke. As she continued to speak strangely, she was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Hospital, where she underwent a thorough examination. It was during the gynecological test that a Russian-born nurse recognized her native language. Everyone was stunned. This incident is just one of the long list of paranormal phenomena that have plagued Hollywood since its inception. We can recall that, during the filming of Bringing Up Baby, Cary Grant began levitating and had to be tied to a string like a balloon. More recently, during the filming of Contact, Matthew McConaughey's dentures flew out of his mouth and bit an extra, leading the actor to face a nasty lawsuit that was the talk of the tabloids.

09/05/2026

Is Angelina Jolie such a perfectionist when it comes to filming a scene that she becomes unbearable to work with, as director Lee Strasberg said?

Definitely. In a scene from ‘Original Sin’, Angelina Jolie had to say, “I can’t elop with you because my private parts are itching,” and then start jumping up and down. The director was happy with the first take, but Angelina was sure she could jump higher, so she made him redo the scene until she felt her jumps were high enough. When she was finally satisfied, she wanted to change her line, which she thought was silly. The director let her reshoot the scene with her saying, “I can’t juggle with you because the raccoons are pestering me.” Then she suggested bringing in seven or eight raccoons to make it look like they were pestering her, and the scene had to be reshot. Then she insisted that the raccoons jump along with her. Then the raccoons didn't jump high enough... The director, being a henpecked professional, agreed to everything. Finally, Angelina decided that the whole scene was a complete nonsense and had it cut from the film.

04/04/2026

SILLY HUMOR (Trumpets Edition)
https://humorror.quora.com/?ch=10&oid=4665686&share=396067ef&srid=iTryq&target_type=tribe

02/04/2026

What movies destroyed the Lindsay Lohan and Eddie Murphy career?

Lindsay Lohan and Eddie Murphy became infamous for winning the Razzie Award for Worst Actor in 2007 for their performances in the film "The Unhinged Gardener." Lindsay plays a high-powered Wall Street executive investigating massive losses in Alabama's agricultural sector. She discovers that the culprit is a gardener (Murphy) who is planting the fields with buttons instead of seeds. When she demands an explanation, he tries to prune her. Luckily, an off-duty police officer (Matthew McConaughey) wallowing in the mud of the Tombigbee River hears her cries for help and comes to Lindsay's aid.

30/09/2025

Are Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson brothers?

They are brothers, but not biological brothers. They are milk brothers, meaning they were breastfed by the same woman, a Slovak peasant named Zuzana Elemitrova. How did this Slovak peasant come to breastfeed these children without their parents' knowledge and without leaving Slovakia? That remains a mystery. Zuzana enigmatically told People magazine: "I'd always wanted to breastfeed Hollywood stars. But so few stars traveled to Central Europe..." Matthew and Woody, for their part, admit to having met this wet nurse as babies, but deny having traveled to Slovakia for this purpose. Obviously, one of the two parties is lying, but which one?

30/09/2025

What are some things that Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Johnny Depp all have in common?

All three were victims of the “Venus scam”, a con that proliferated in Hollywood between 2005 and 2010 and deprived many stars of some of their money. Basically, the scheme involved posing as an alien and thus convincing the unsuspecting person to make a large donation to an organization dedicated to promoting birth rates on the planet Venus. Naturally, this organization didn't have the altruistic purpose it claimed and didn't even have any connection to extraterrestrials, so it was simply a scam. However, Hollywood stars are especially susceptible to this kind of interplanetary swindle, so Pitt, DiCaprio, and Depp aren't the only ones who have fallen for this ingenious con, although they seem to have lost the most money.

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