Stories Unsaid

Stories Unsaid A space to share tough decisions and explore the emotions behind them.

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Engineer Calls Herself The “Token Girl” At Recruiting Event, HR Freaks Out After She Says The Quiet Part Out LoudSee the...
22/04/2026

Engineer Calls Herself The “Token Girl” At Recruiting Event, HR Freaks Out After She Says The Quiet Part Out Loud

See the bottom for an update...

I work at a tech company. I'm one of two women in a technical role, and the other is very introverted and wouldn't be great at recruiting. So every time there's a recruiting event, I get volun-told for it. It was especially frustrating and for me because my whole team is under crunch time and a day I spend recruiting is a day I have to make up later.

I was at a recruiting event at a local college, and a young woman who was thinking of applying asked how the diversity at my company was, it looked good from our panel and promotional materials. (Side note... Almost every person of color, woman, or q***r presenting person on the promo materials has either quit or never worked there in the first place)

I answered honestly in front of a small group "Well, there are two women in technical roles, and as one of them it sometimes feels like working two jobs. One as an engineer, and one as the 'token girl engineer' who gets pulled away from work for every photo op, or recruiting event. Honestly, if you like being a trailblazer and are prepared to take on the extra unspoken PR as the "girl engineer', you might find a role here fulfilling, but if you prefer keeping your head down to focus on the technical side, it is easier to do that at a company where there is more gender and racial diversity.

She appreciated my honestly but the manager who was running the event told me to leave. I have a meeting with HR and my manager tomorrow. I don't think my opinion will be any news to them as I've already told them I'm not interested in being assigned to photo ops or recruiting disproportionately because of my gender, and I've been told that it's "important" for me to be there to help recruit a more diverse staff since the company is trying to improve.

I feel like they're mad that I said the quiet part...

Her Sister Wanted To Bring An Uninvited Guest On The Bachelorette Getaway - She Said No. Did She Overreact?My sister/mai...
22/04/2026

Her Sister Wanted To Bring An Uninvited Guest On The Bachelorette Getaway - She Said No. Did She Overreact?

My sister/maid of honor (22F) helped plan my (25F) bachelorette trip that is coming up soon. We will be traveling about 8 hours away, so my bridesmaids and I are leaving pretty early in the morning. My sister recently started a new job and will not be able to get off in time to ride with us. Instead of buying a one-way plane ticket (which are cheaper than the gas to get there) and riding back with us, my sister wants to drive up with her friend. Not only does she expect this person to come for free (as my bridesmaids have already generously split and paid for the trip), but I have only met this girl once. AITA for not wanting my sister’s friend to come just so she doesn’t have to drive alone or fly to meet us?

(Update) AITAH for screaming at my husband to get out after he pranked me with flowers?My husband and my marriage is not...
22/04/2026

(Update) AITAH for screaming at my husband to get out after he pranked me with flowers?

My husband and my marriage is not going well. I am very close to divorce and I’ve talked to him about it.

I told him I wanted some effort. I wanted flowers, chocolate, a nicely written note. Something that showed he wanted to romance me.

He finally took it seriously and agreed.

When I came home from a 12 hour shift yesterday, he had laid a trail of rose petals in our house. It was so beautiful.

The trail ended at the kitchen sink where he had piled a bunch of dirty dishes, pots, and pans to clean.

He said he got the idea from TikTok.

I screamed at him to get out of my house. He left after arguing a bit.

I cried. Some of my friends said I was right but others say he was just being playful. AITAH?
update:
My husband came back home last night. I had cooled off and then he ruined it by saying I was overreacting, that it was funny, and he wanted to make me laugh. I told him I was going to file for divorce because it was the last straw. He then started crying and begging me not to. He begged me to give him a second chance.

I said he already got a second chance and he squandered it by reminding me that I do all the daily chores in this house.

This was why our marriage was rocky. I work in the medical field while he is a blue collar worker. Both of our jobs require long hours. But if I mess up, people die.

He once said that I went through all that schooling just to get covered in blood and s__t. He took it back after but he wanted to make me feel low. He started doing that a bit after Covid started.

I do the cooking and cleaning. I do the laundry, the sweeping, the dentist appointments. All he does is create more work for me.

He wanted me to pack him lunch...

Woman Calls Husband An “Incel” After He Refuses To Take Photos With HerThrowaway for obvious reasons! Could use any advi...
22/04/2026

Woman Calls Husband An “Incel” After He Refuses To Take Photos With Her

Throwaway for obvious reasons! Could use any advice you all have.

Some background: I (23F) have been with my husband (23M) for about 4 years, only about 6 months married. I love him dearly, and he is a very sweet guy. He is pretty conservative (we differ in that regard), and most of his male friends are as well.

Back in college (a few years ago), my husband and some of his friends started following this conservative, male “influencer” on social media. This man’s whole shtick was essentially shaming random men on the internet for “simping” for their girlfriends/wives. How did he do this? Fans would send him photos of random straight couples, which he would screenshot and draw green lines over, indicating which directions the man and woman in the photo were leaning. If the woman was standing straight up in the photo, and her man was leaning in towards her, the influencer would dub the man a “simp” and post the photo online for everyone to make fun of. The “ideal” photo, in the influencer’s opinion, was one where the man was standing straight up, and his woman was leaning into him. Anything else, and the man was a simp who could not control his woman. Yes, this is 100% real.

Obviously, I didn’t love that my now-husband was a fan of this influencer. But he reassured me that it was all a joke, and that he didn’t actually believe anything that this guy said. I believed him, until I started to notice that when we would take pictures together, my husband was pulling away from me and attempting to have me lean into him. At first, I brushed it off, but it kept happening. This irritated me, because I don’t particularly love my side profile, but I was being forced to turn to the side and lean into him in every single photo we were taking. I would try to pull away so that I could face the camera head-on, but he would pull me back in and/or refuse to move. I confronted him...

AITAH for calling out "houseguests" who didn't ask to stay?My daughter and her husband just moved in with me to save mon...
22/04/2026

AITAH for calling out "houseguests" who didn't ask to stay?

My daughter and her husband just moved in with me to save money. They were living in a town that his family lives in/his home town so his family is sad to see him go. His parents followed after them the weekend they moved back. That was cool, I figured they were just staying close to them for the weekend to say a last goodbye and hang out a bit. I got home on Wednesday after work and found out they had invited themselves to stay in my house. I don't really know them - I've only met them 3 times or so and this is only the second time they have been to my house. They joked about how they would stay at my house instead of getting a hotel. I didn't know what to say so I went to bed early that night and told my daughter I wasn't happy and wanted to know what their plans were the next day.
They slept in the lounge and slept in until 10am! The lounge is in the centre of the house next to the kitchen. We were all tiptoeing around until they got up. I had to speak to them about boundaries and though they nodded and made the right sounds I got the message that they felt like I was being unfair. They even said that they would let me stay at their house if it was the other way around and the mother started crying about how much she was worried about her fully grown adult son and was fretting for him. She explained that she just thought I'd understand because I'm a mom too. I explained that I don't see things the same way they do and I felt like I lost control of my home (they fully took over the kitchen the night before and not to mention again, they were not invited. They invited themselves).
I don't know what happens from here but I don't see this being the last issue I have with them. I want to support my daughter and her husband...

Aitah for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids.Up until our youngest kid graduated from unive...
22/04/2026

Aitah for telling my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids.

Up until our youngest kid graduated from university I worked crazy hours out of town to pay for everything. I worked six weeks on of twelve hours days. Then I would get three weeks off. That works out to 56 hours a week if you average it out. I've been doing that since I was thirty five years old. It allowed my wife to stay at home and take care of the kids and the house. We also used it to pay off our mortgage as well as but new cars for cash whenever we needed.
I'll describe our budget so you guys can judge. After taxes we used my take-home to pay the mortgage and bills. We then paid into the kids college funds. Then into our retirement fund. Then we topped up our retirement account. We put money iinto our emergency fund. Then whatever was left we split 50/50. Our tax refund was our vacation fund.
Now I'm fifty five and I'm tired. My body is beat and I need to slow down. Our kids are both through university. Both got their degrees and have jobs. I did my part.
The company I work for had a job open for an office job. I applied and got it. It is a 9-5 city job. Forty hours a week. Better hourly rate plus other compensation. However it is alot less money without the overtime. I was getting 44 hours a week of overtime. That's huge.
But we have money in the bank and I have an easy stretch until I retire. My wife however is upset. Both kids are "struggling". For the record they live at home rent free. But they want cars and apartments of their own. They can afford that. They just won't be getting luxury cars and huge apartments.
We no longer have a mortgage and my wife and I are both driving vehicles purchased in the last three years. Still under warranty. Our budget no longer has education funds either. We still have more than we need and my wife and I each have $1,000...

AITA for leaving for a ski trip while my wife and kid were asleep?One thing she does when she doesn't feel well is refus...
22/04/2026

AITA for leaving for a ski trip while my wife and kid were asleep?

One thing she does when she doesn't feel well is refuse to sleep without my wife, so
almost every night for the past month and a half, my wife and Chloe have been sleeping in the guest room.
My wife and I have a daughter, Chloe (4). Chloe has autism and developmental
delays. Chloe gets very c**ngy to my wife
when she doesn't feel well and she's
basically been sick since Halloween.
The problem is Chloe is a kicker and likes
to sprawl out so my wife doesn't sleep well when she's sleeping next to Chloe. To let
her get some rest, I've been getting up an hour and a half early every day so I could take Chloe in the mornings.

I get her dressed, do her hair, give her breakfast, and drop her off at daycare/play with her on weekends while my wife locks herself in the guest room. This has been exhausting so when my friends invited me on a ski trip last weekend I obviously
wanted to go.

I tried to tell my wife about it but she shut it down immediately. I thought she was
being unfair because at least she gets a break in the mornings and when Chloe's at daycare. I don't get a break so last weekend I packed up and left the house before Chloe and my wife woke up.

I sent her a text telling her where I am and when I'll be back. When I got back, there
was a note saying Chloe and my wife were staying with my wife's family and that she hopes the trip was worth it.

The only time she's spoken to me is when she texted me pictures of Chloe at a park to let me know that she's okay. My friends all say she's overreacting and that she shouldn't keep my kid from me but my mom called me and cursed me out for leaving my wife with Chloe over the weekend. AITA?

AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?"Last week a new colleague ""Cathy"...
21/04/2026

AITA for accidentally calling out a new colleague on lying about her language skills?

"Last week a new colleague ""Cathy"" (33f) started at my (25f) work place. She instantly stood out in the team, because she seems like someone who is very... loud and assertive? Two of my colleagues, me and Cathy were having coffee in the break room (we were the only ones in there and we were sitting far apart), when the subject of travel was brought up. My colleague said she wasn't booking trips anymore because it'll probably get cancelled because of covid anyway. Cathy, immediately cut in about how sad she is because she travels so often and she goes on these far ""exotic"" trips to Europe as her hobby. When I think exotic I think the Bahamas or something instead of Europe but. Cool.
Cathy then jokes about how all this ""no travel business"" is making her fear that she'll lose some of her foreign language skills. I asked what languages she spoke. She claimed to be fluent in 3 European languages, among which were French and Dutch. Cathy said she was ""at a native speaker level"" and went on about how people in Europe were always surprised when they found out she wasn't from there.
I was excited, because I never get to speak Dutch over here. I was raised in Belgium, which has three national languages: French and Dutch (which are my mother tongues and the most commonly spoken there) and German. It's quite common to be pretty fluent in at least two out of the three languages in Belgium, because you're required to learn them at school (along with English) from a young age. I told Cathy ""oh leuk, dan hebben we iets gemeenschappelijk!"" (""oh fun, we have something in common then!"")
She immediately pulled this sour face and asked me if that was supposed to be Dutch. I said yes. She laughed awkwardly and said she ""couldn't understand because I have a terrible accent and must not be that good at speaking it."" Now see, I don't have an accent. I speak Dutch more fluently than I speak English. I told Cathy that I grew...

AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for, for her “push present”?My wife and I have been tog...
21/04/2026

AITAH for telling my wife she is not worthy of what she’s asking for, for her “push present”?

My wife and I have been together for 5 years. She’s pregnant with our first right now.
Few days ago, she sent me a TikTok video of a woman on one of those extremist podcasts talking about deserving some kind of a “push present.” At first I didn’t even know what that meant. But when I looked it up, it’s basically a thank-you gift to the woman who brought your child into the world.
This concept is and still seems very strange to me. I understand seeking appreciation from your husband for what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth, but it’s the materialistic part that gave me the ick. The woman on the TikTok went on and on about how it’s a “body for a body,” which meant the man would have to get a permanent tattoo on his lower body and give her a house and a car as a gift exclusively to her.
I felt that those expectations are very entitled, honestly a little vindictive, envious (permanent tattoo part), and very over the top for my taste. The decision to bring a child into the world is both partners’ decision. My wife, in our case, is not forced to be a mom or be pregnant, as she wants to be a parent too.
I simply replied to the tiktok with laughing emojis and moved on, thinking it was the end of it and probably thought she meant to send that tiktok as a satire, like, “Oh, look how dumb this woman is, thinking she deserves all that.”
She was in the other room when I reacted to the video, so she comes to me and tells me that she doesn’t expect a tattoo and a house exclusively for her, but she wants me to dip into my personal savings to get her a car exclusively for her. I looked at her, almost shocked, and began laughing. I thought my wife and I had similar views on how extremist people can be, and I was wrong.
I thought she was joking, and I pressed her if she was...

AITA for bailing on Thanksgiving for the tenth year in a row for Bali?I’m a flight attendant for a major airline, so wor...
21/04/2026

AITA for bailing on Thanksgiving for the tenth year in a row for Bali?

I’m a flight attendant for a major airline, so working on holidays is a given. I’ve been working long enough I could get holidays and time off if I want, but I don’t take them up on it.
For the past decade, I’ve skipped major family holidays and events like weddings and christenings. Part of it has to do with something that happened a long time ago. Long story short, my ex knocked up my sister and they got married. I have no interest in them and haven’t met their children. I haven’t even gone back to my hometown since their engagement announcement.
My mother has been asking me when I’m going to come back. And the answer is never. I tell her I don’t know. Well she and my dad are getting up there in years and they want a family celebration with everyone. Including my cheat of an ex and his family.
She just asked when I’m going to be here for Thanksgiving and I told her that work got in the way. She broke down crying over the phone and pleaded with me to put in a time off request so I can see her. My other FA family thinks I should do this one thing because it’s not healthy to put work over family.
Honestly, I can’t stand to see my ex happy with his affair partner and what could have been us. Also I am spending part of the holidays in Bali and have better things to do than be miserable in f__king Cleveland. AITA?

AITA for calling the police on a bride’s relatives in a bridal shop?"AITA for calling the police on a bride’s relatives ...
21/04/2026

AITA for calling the police on a bride’s relatives in a bridal shop?

"AITA for calling the police on a bride’s relatives in a bridal shop?'
A few years ago, I was working in a bridal shop that made customized wedding dresses. One day, a bride came to us six months before her wedding and asked us to make her wedding dress. We accepted her order and began the process. At her request, we booked her first fitting for two months before the wedding day.
About a week before that booked fitting, the bride came to the shop unexpectedly with two other ladies. They asked to see the wedding dress. At that time, the dress had just arrived from the tailor and was in the store, but it was not ready to be presented. We hadn’t checked it properly yet, some loose threads still needed to be cut, and it hadn’t been steamed. Normally, we always tidy and prepare the dress before showing it to the client.
I explained that the dress was not ready and told them it wasn’t available to view yet. However, the two ladies insisted. They went to our stock rack and started looking through the dresses themselves. Every dress on the rack was clearly labeled with the bride’s name and wedding date, so they quickly found it and opened it without permission.
I was completely shocked by how rude this was. The dress was, of course, unfinished because the first fitting hadn’t happened yet. Seeing it in that state, the two ladies became very upset and disappointed. They panicked, saying the dress looked incomplete and that the wedding was only two months away. From our professional point of view, there was still plenty of time for fittings and alterations.
The two women appeared to be the bride’s cousins. The bride herself was calm and kind. We had already had several consultations, built a good relationship, and she trusted us. These cousins, however, were new to us, and it seemed the bride didn’t really want to come with them, but she felt pressured to do so.
They continued criticizing the dress and stressing themselves out. An hour and half...

AITA for not expecting my daughter to pay for her brother/my younger son's wedding after she was disinvited due to fianc...
21/04/2026

AITA for not expecting my daughter to pay for her brother/my younger son's wedding after she was disinvited due to fiancée?

Hi all!
I have a son (John, 28M) and daughter (Rita, 31F) and both are on OK terms with each other. Ever since my husband away, nearly a decade ago, Rita has stepped up and taken care of all of us, financially. She's funded a huge portion of John's life and helped him get a job without debt. She's let me live with her in her house and is very, very soft-spoken and calm.
Recently, John proposed to his long time girlfriend Sam and they've begun planning their wedding. Sam and John have made it clear that they want Rita to help them out financially (again) as they're saving up for a house and a future child.
Sam has a huge family and everyone there have very close relationships, so they've already cut down on the guests form John's side. Neither I nor Rita care about this, but recently one of Sam's long lost childhood friends informed them that she'll be in town during the wedding so they had to remove one guest because of the venue's rules and that person was Rita. Sam told John and John told me that she doesn't want Rita to be there cause 'they're not very close' and 'she can always see the couple sometime else'.
I was rude and questioned her as to why they're removing someone who's helping them out to which the reply was 'I don't like how she's butting in to John's life' and that 'childhood friend is more likable.' Rita's hurt and told the couple that she won't be paying a dime for the wedding and even went as far as planning a trip on the same dates with her friends.
Now John and Sam are yelling at me saying that I've spoiled her and made her into an egoistic loser but Rita's already given them an engagement and a wedding gift (apart from the funding) so I told them that she's done her part and that childhood friend could cover the expenses.. Sam's mad and is threatening to go NC.. AITA?

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