19/03/2025
The Bonds of Friendship: A Journey Through My Relationships with Women
As International Women’s Day is here, I find myself reflecting on the many relationships I have built with women throughout my life. These bonds have shaped me, defined different stages of my journey, and given me invaluable perspectives on love, loyalty, and understanding. More than a comparison between having a girlfriend and having a friend, this is a tribute to the connections that have profoundly influenced my life.
The First Encounters: Childhood Discoveries
My earliest memories of friendship with women go back to when I was around four or five years old. My little dolls and my neighbor friend were part of my first explorations of the world. Like many children, we discovered our bodies with innocent curiosity, comparing ourselves without shame, simply understanding our differences. It was an age of pure curiosity and openness.
Then, life moved us to another residential area, where I encountered two sisters. Our friendship was mischievous, and they introduced me to the thrill of rebellion, even leading me to steal necklaces from a store. But not all childhood friendships were chaotic. In the same building, I formed a deep bond with a girl who remains a lifelong friend and is now my son’s godmother.
The Sisterhood Bond: Growing Up Together
Among the most defining relationships in my life is the one with my elder sister, just one year older than me. We were inseparable throughout childhood, sharing games, dreams, and secrets. However, life had a way of creating gaps between us. She got her menstruation at eleven, while I experienced mine much later at sixteen. This biological difference transformed her into someone with an adult mentality early on, leading her to seek older friends and boyfriends. Our second major separation came when she traveled to Portugal for a holiday, with no return. I stood as a witness at her wedding, crying -most of the pictures showed me with that miserable expression- and the bittersweet realization that our childhood closeness had shifted into something different.
Teenage Years: Love, Betrayal, and Lessons
High school introduced new dimensions to my friendships with women. I felt deeply connected to an outstanding student who mirrored my ambitions. Yet, I also encountered the complexities of love and loyalty when I unknowingly stole my friend’s potential love. He was my first love, and she became the first friend who ever hated me. There were also friendships marked by moments of envy—whether over trivial matters or deeper insecurities—on both sides. All of it became a harsh but necessary lesson on the delicate boundaries of love, friendship, and rivalry.
University: A Spectrum of Female Bonds
University life expanded my world. I built incredible friendships with women of different personalities and passions. There was the philosopher, who made me question life deeply; the le***an friend, who taught me respect about love beyond traditional narratives; the lawyer, who always had strong arguments for everything. Then there were my love-coffee-cigarettes-and-beer girlfriends, with whom conversations at the beach felt endless.
Among these friendships was the ballerina, who had a unique habit of deciding which man was meant for me and which one was for her wherever we went. Then there was my sports-obsessed friend—or perhaps I was just the lazy one—but we shared the same adventurous spirit. She became my partner in crime, sneaking into theater events for free, turning every outing into an exciting escapade.
The Global Stage: Friendships Beyond Borders
One of my best friends, with whom I discussed books and feelings, has since passed away. Another best friend, the keeper of one of my secrets, is slowly losing her memory. Time is relentless, but these friendships remain etched in my heart.
As I moved abroad, my friendships with women deepened in ways I hadn’t imagined. One of my most profound relationships was with a Catholic friend, with whom I attended mass regularly. Another friend introduced me to the raw and real side of Montevideo, showing me places beyond the tourist facade. These women remain dear to me to this day.
Later, in a new destination, I built strong relationships with women from different cultural backgrounds who shared similar educational levels and passions and different age distances, younger or older than me. We shared literature, emotions, and secrets that stayed in London.
The Island Bonds: Unity in Distance
Life eventually brought me to an island, where I forged friendships that feel eternal. In a place so far from our birthlands, we found unity. The distance from home strengthened our connections, as we became each other’s chosen family. These friendships, bound by shared experiences and an understanding of what it means to be far from where we once belonged, have been among the most meaningful of my life.
The Essence of Female Friendships
I consider that friendship between women is often different from male friendships. There is an emotional depth, an unspoken understanding, and a willingness to share vulnerabilities. Many women authors have explored this theme—Elena Ferrante, for instance, in My Brilliant Friend, delves into the complexities of female friendships, full of admiration, rivalry, and deep affection. Simone de Beauvoir also reflects on the role of women in each other’s lives, emphasizing the importance of solidarity.
As I celebrate International Women’s Day, I honor these friendships, each unique, each shaping me in different ways. They have taught me about love, forgiveness, adventure, and self-discovery. I cherish all my friends, and I am endlessly grateful for the presence of these incredible women in my life.
Because, at the end of the day, no matter where we come from, how we meet, or how long we stay in each other’s lives—friendship is a bond that transcends time, distance, and circumstances. And that is something worth celebrating.
Yaritza Barbosa, a woman, a friend.
March 8, 2025
