05/08/2024
Are tried of mens wrongful actions or idiotik action they think i cant see true, on well just show the one that clame to know me dont know me at all, i have always been one that see the micro actions as importen and they just encrest a lot over the last year, so well every micro detail of what you as a man are telling me, counts or i wont belive s**t you say of what you are doing or why bc my gut say otherwise, bc to me every detail matters wathere you think or not, bc i learnt i cant trust a word or action a man say or do unless i know litterly everything, that is is unfortenly one of the bad s**t done to me and that i alowed done to me, that are what are createre in me, do to well last relashionship i had wrongfull actions tords me, so to day it is a big part of me, that if a man try´s to get close to me, I need to know what, who, why, about, tekst, photos, sits, dayly actions of every actions acure, nothing hitten from me at all or any social media on private at all, and yes i have also that there are surten shi.t that dont existe in my life, but all know thats and what that is in anyform what so ever nithere in, the around, social media, photos, videos, seeking out, talking to, in eithere his or my life, not even just a modle showing close on a adult sits, they can use a manicin doll, and no sits seeking anything to do were a man seek lust do to his lack of selvcontrole of him self, that do not belonge in my life, nor shall he ever look at women or men with lust at all, he have to be an adult and be able to talk, look with a clean eye about the middle of his body otherewice for me he is not a man, also why i can talk to both bc i DO NOT look with Gross lust for otheres when with a man, i see people and are NOT controled by LUST and if a man cant do that, then well no he is not a man, if he seek that out online or around where he eithere work or leve with me, like i dont and nothing are ever hitten from me at all not a single little micro thing. That is haw much i have come to realise just now, do to micro event, this what came out of that, but know i know why i often get to see a lot of s**t in my minde when i dreaming down to micro level of things, that there was a reason why i always did and still do when dreaming, it is a need for wellbeing to stop bad shi.t for happing with in me, either by me or by a man, bc the men in my life as partneres have hidden to much shi.t do to there lack of understanding of what real love is, that lust have nothing to do with real love it is a feeling, it is a actions tords the female in the right way, so she can be true to her self, her heart and there for give the man a understanding of his heart, peace and love, but to do that she need real love also given, and that is what i always gave my formere partner but feelt a lot was missing in return, why i let my self almost destriode, i seeked truth, loyalti, real love, in him given to me, but in the way it was needet not in what he thourd love was, bc love is NOT lust and lust are not love, it is a cemical inballance in the body that need realising, yes it can be plessen but it is NOT love, but love is comming from a feeling in your heart to the othere person, and that was what i was missing from him, bc he maby coulden see any wrong in compare wemon but that is one thing you DO NOT do to me, compare me to otheres or try to make be do as they do on gross sits, video, photos, magasines, DDM, THAT IS A BIG NO GO and insult to me big time bc that shi.t have never been allowed to be a part of my life or will it be, there are a BIG diffrents on P**n world and RF, but both is out of my life for good today, that will ever be a part or intagreatet in my life ever agin. This was / is a apiffani that just came to me on why i feelt hurt for a few houres after a few houres of good, i acctuly like when i finely see or get a answere on something that have been nagging me, but yes i need to know everything any man ( futur partnere ) in my life are doing, teksting, talking to and what about, but that is haw i was formed by my reason past partnere today, do his personality, but that is okay with me, but for i tonight just got a anwsere i have seekt out, of why i have change like that or into that, it was former partneres wrong in my eyes actions tords me, he have his right to have his own view, it just don fit or sit at all with me and it will never be allowed ever agin in that way tords me, that i respekt and love my self to much to ever allowed agin, so if a man in the futur trys well here is a realasions i just have about my self of why and haw i got to be like that. Plain ans simple i found out what was the destrution that hade destroied surten things in me, but they need to be destroied to see more clearly on what is the right thing and what is the wrong thing of actions tords me as a person both by my self or what i will ever tollerate, and surten thing no longere are tollerate, but they are luckly also destroied now, so that is good bc then there are room for the good and the right ways, action, things in my life given to me by a man that will know haw to tried a Real women on the leve i am now and grow with feature in life with, as i now know haw be a women and not forced to be masculine, to allowed the right man to lead, but the mint he lead wrong or his word and actions dont lead coreckt, i also know haw to help him correkt him self, we all make mistakes, but with out repeting it and i also now know why i dont like suprices, i overthink if the actions or words or sentens dont make sens to me or i cant see it dos or the acures wrong actions in my mist of confutions, createt by trying to lie, betraie or cheet on me, i know now why i had to endure all that pain of nasty gross descusting p**n world to see it for what it is and why i was put true bad shi.t done to me of there and the men lustfull destruktios houndogs behaver of compareing me with that or try to make me keep leveing in my past that they desired it was not me but my past they wonnet, and that teenagter shi.t was way in my past and over, that i needet to make clear that would were it should be and never be agin, so glad i got a clear sigt tonight of why i had to endure ancaria atack, pain, hurt core heart, the last part of that gross destrutions behaver i have been put true of the gross uncontroling lust of them, that they let them self be ruled by lust, insted of matureness of otter controle over there lust to not seek lust, but get love and plessure in the right way from a real women, but for me to both give the true love i have as i gave and be able to be female that are sensuel to give plessure as needet in propper way, that gross wrong way of p**n lust viewing men that only seek that out, had to be destroied in me to never give in to a man that what wish that descusting form lusting gross shi.t, to stand ferm and say no not even ones ever agin, to give my female and male side a balance that strength to do that, so are accutly greatfull i got put true pain, i learnt that there are surten things in life that should remain in the past not just for me, but everywere so this world can also become better not just for me but for all in the end, but this is just a small evil that need to go, but small evil thent to become big one day and this was one that startet insenent over sevel 100 years ago, we today just have to clean it up, and stop it, but there are many things like greed, unhealtly wrong way of handling lust, Egoistisk negativ EGOs, negative wrong pride, unhealty fanatically negative mehame ways in many things like politik, reglion as exsambles, but to do that we also need to learn to work with what we exsperiens of own experiens with in our felt of expatise wathere we have a degree or not, it is the life exsperiens that makes us exsperts not a pize of paper, we just need all us good light workes for a better Gaia ( earth ) work togethere as apart with in what we can and haw we can to help sick pepole, our home Gaia, in our own way yet togethere so when one is off or tried, someone els can take over for a bit, and help and suport what is right for us as inviduellle and as a whole for our comen home Gaia and try to create a better life for our self as otheres in the long run, so we dont leave to much clean up to the next genrations, like they former tryed to do for us. so thank you for this evenings stomich pain of wrath and hurt, and ancatati and the big trip of it this weekend, it made me see all this, hope this help or intreeg anyone, this is my evening view and thourds. Wish all a beutifull and full of light and blessing and love in there lifes i will deffently works now to get more small joyfull moments in my tempus ( time) in my little life and bad times so i might see new thing in both good as bad. Love to humens, animal and Gaia.
