19/12/2020
Like an alcoholic to the bottle, like a j***y to he**in so I am attached to you.
But it is no you, it is the state, the sensation behind, what I am atractted to.
It doesn't matter who you are, Stephan, Carlo, Pedro, Marcus... It is just a label, a different name for the same landscape.
I am a j***y of the sensation of belonging, of being held, loved, seen... I am such a prissioner of the sensation of being accompanied that I am even capable of cheating on myself, of looking away, of ignoring red flags. I am so attached to this state that I am capable to sostain toxic relationships...
But now I got you! I know how you feel in my body, I know your smell and taste, I know the melody you wishper in my ears. I know your tricks and your manners and I don't really want to keep having you in my life.
I want to be free from your ways, from your guidance. I want to see life free from your lenses, discovering new colours, new perspectives, new realities...
I want to be reborn again free from your influence.
A new life is waiting for me and that's the only motivation I need. Just the perspective of a life free of the wounds of trauma it's enough to keep going.
The horizon is clear, the possibilities unlimited.
Marjah🦋