09/22/2025
OPENING DAY WILL BE FRIDAY SEPTEMBER 26TH WEATHER PERMITTING... STAY TUNED
šš¦“**FINAL DAY ON THE HAUNTED CONSTRUCTION SITE**š¦“š
**Skeleton Crew Report: Bone-Chilling Edition**
Well fiends⦠the chill in the air isn't just fall creeping in ā it's the last day on-site for the legendary Skeleton Crew, and the bones are rattling with excitement (and maybe a little arthritis)!
The haunt is just DAYS away from opening, and the chaos has reached maximum spooky. Here's your final construction site update before the crew vanishes back into the crypt 'til next year:
Frank has officially gone full ghoul. Not only is he ignoring his toolbelt for a tattered cloak, he's auditioning to STAY as a haunt actor. Word is he hasnāt broken character in 3 days. The man hissed at a forklift. Heās committed.
Rocky may have moved on from that tiny terror, but he still seems to be the site babysitter, yelling at Frank to finish caulking the mausoleum wall. Somebody has to get some work done around here and it's not going to be just Rocky, he doesn't get paid enough for that.
Fire Marshal Dave finally got a break ā but donāt worry, heās back with his flashlight, checklist, and a deep suspicion that one of the ghosts is not up to code. Every creaking door gets a side-eye. Every flickering light, a threat.
Nelson, in a shocking act of productivity evasion, brought a dragon to work. Yes. A DRAGON. Chaos ensues. It's breathing glitter and eating the caution tape. He says itās a "support creature." Honestly, we're just impressed.
Meanwhile, Safety Stuart is losing his entire mind. Heās chasing said dragon, tripping over his own steel-toed boots, and shouting safety slogans that have devolved into pure gibberish. "Don'tāFIREāuhāLEFT TURN FORKLIFTāAHH!"
Poor Boris, still operating at half-strength with one working arm, couldn't fend off Hemi the House Spider. Hemi is actively spinning Boris into a shishkaBoris ā send help or at least spider snacks to help Boris make an escape.
As we creak toward Opening Day, the Skeleton Crew prepares to disappear into the night (and probably the HR office) until next haunt season. Their tools may be packed, but their nonsense lives on forever.
But the real question isā¦
WHO will be the next unhinged soul to join the Skeleton Crew next year?
(Interviews start in the cemetery. BYO garlic.)
Stay spooky, stay safe, and get ready ā because when those doors creak open, all their bone-breaking work (and trauma) will be worth it.
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