Today, tomorrow, forever

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04/22/2024

i love my me time
ive improved in alot
my skills upright
learnt new things
and planted flowers for myself
still i long for your recklessness
your noise that calms me
our nonesense wishes
that cant be fulfill still we hope it may
your unending rants
that i willingly listens to
our nights that we once thought
to be the saddest and loneliness
when infact it was when we both stopped
being eachothers safe place.

04/22/2024

i wish i couldve said i love you back
instead of letting u go
in fear that u dont feel the same
and shaming myself
this thought is always in my mind
especially at night
when all of it were quite and tranquil
regretting that i didnt take the risk
before its too late.

04/22/2024

they slowly drifts away
as u watched not doing anything
youre too naive i say
that u only expect them to give the love u want
without anything in return
selfish indeed
foolishly asking yourself why,
because youre too naive i say.

04/22/2024

i have finally found peace alone
and yet i still look for u in every side of the room
hoping ang wishing
that i'd see even a little part of your apparition
even the darkest version of it
will sure give me luster
to pull me back up
from this silence that i forged
fooling myself into thinking
i found peace alone.

04/22/2024

her eyes is covered with angst
which made it alot gorgeous
her words were clear and convincing
but her eyes is filled with anxiety and fear
it glows differently from other
it is full of hatred and it longs for heed
that hids her well.

04/22/2024

i wanna learn everything i dont
i wanna be intelligent enough to be included
altho i'm doing great as a student
mediocrity still best me
this unending discourageness that i feel
chokes me till i ran out of hope
outstretching my potential.

04/21/2024

i reached for u
hoping you'll hold me amidst this long toned darkness
that swallows me when i'm alone
this uncertainty that i feel with you
still i reached for u
in anticipate that you'll hold me too
my biggest fallacy alone
had caused me all.

04/21/2024

i do not believe that wounds heal
well maybe the ones that does not bleed
some say it does
and im sure its only our heart fooling itself
that you've moved on from it
when in fact it never did
you're rather distracted
not moved on.

04/21/2024

fate's will is to seperate us
maybe we're both bound to be hurt
by our own volition of choosing this mistake
which is pretty mess up and weird
but it's fate's will and im fatalistic.

04/21/2024

i apologized for expecting u to fix me
when ure not built to build me
maybe i have grown too soft
each everyday we spent close
i admit that it is very unlikely of me
to seek help
to someone i barely and yet i already knew

04/21/2024

i never denied that we're meant to be
meant to be a lesson for each other
teaching us to not rely on someone when we're down
and to fix ourselves before loving someone

of all the educations that they offer
so far you're the worst and yet the best lesson
life has given to me

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Whistler, BC

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