07/05/2020
To Thunder Bay and Surrounding Communities,
As the month of Pride closed, the disbandment of famed drag performance group Fantasy Haus also chose to end and dissolve. Recent public issues had been brought to attention which involved unprofessional behaviours directed towards young people, our peers and co-performers. Haus member Sharon Selfies had unaccountably taken herself too far acting with inappropriate sexual conversations around youth and dialogue using racist remarks towards a co-performer. This news was shared to myself over social media and has been spread with pressure to bring recognition to this irresponsible social behaviour. Dialogue has been shared between Fantasy Haus members (both online and offline) and the situation is being unpacked. This type of situation and the many others that have been looked over or left unchallenged that are now surfacing have left the Haus members with sore hearts and grief in their chests. Please let this be exemplary to my friends, families and followers that in today’s age we must find the courage to speak up against brutality, discrimination, and predators. Through the dismemberment of Fantasy Haus, we as drag performers are acknowledging that we would like to move forward from the past issues with greater clarity and awareness not to repeat these same offences. We strive — now as individual performance artists — to evolve to a place where we can better speak out against the illegitimacy of unprofessionalism, especially in the presence of the youth. I am sorry as a previous member of this Haus that I was a part of complacency, ignorance and did not enact on the opportunities to assist and educate my co-performers to change their behaviours for the safety of our community. I was not witness to the aforementioned situation this past month. However I am aware of the behavioural expressions of Sharon Selfies in and out of drag and wish that she seeks some time to reflect on the actions that have caused many of us hurt. — Sharon, Please make a choice to do better. Please find time to educate yourself on the misconduct.
Canadian Mental Health Association - Thunder Bay
Tel: (807) 345-5564
web: https://thunderbay.cmha.ca/about-cmha/contact-us/
Anishnawbe Mushkiki - Aboriginal Health Access Centre
tel: 807-623-0383
email: [email protected]
Elevate NWO
(sexual health)
tel: 807-345-1516
email: [email protected]
Thunder Bay District Health Unit
(Ivan Ho - Public Health Nutritionist)
tel: 807-625-5956
web: www.tbdhu.com
Prior to myself moving out of Thunder Bay in the summer of 2019, my work and volunteerism in the community — out of drag — revolved around creating relationships with art; between Indigenous and non-indigenous youth, People of colour, and varying spectrums of gender expression. Some actions that were taken behind the scenes within Fantasy Haus were contradictory to my values and beliefs. I will assume more responsibility and maturity from this day forward to speak on actions that may hurt any of my peers or audience members. Communication is a key aspect to how our communities grow and flourish. Be no longer afraid to use your voice. The truth can set you free to a better place of understanding and cooperation. The humility to understand when your actions/words are wrong will give you space to try again. Forgiveness comes from a higher place in the heart once growth is noticed. Self reflect where you went wrong and keep trying again until your actions prove your improved state of wellbeing.
A safe space can also include moral ethics of trust, respect, diverse expression, happiness and inspiration. Having members who will listen, believe and ground you are vital to the health of a safe space. These types of qualities allow our groups to grow with a firm base. We are each finding ourselves every time we wake up in the morning. Please gently support your peers if they are struggling in any way. We can all share as teachers.
It is my understanding that some folks are shy or afraid to use their voice. Past traumas are real which can inhibit our confidence to find the will to defend ourselves or our peers. I can validate that even the smallest amount of truth you can express on the situation will open you up to a new level! The truth will snowball from you and your statement will create changes that inspire the growth and maturity of others around you! It was after 5+ years of performing in Drag that gave me a means to find a place and personality in my heart that allowed me to express confidence. Being alone on stage was my biggest fear. Having made THE CHOICE to do what once scared me, brought a new light to my eyes. This is the action I channel when I want to show someone that what they did hurt me or hurt someone else. The energy tingles in my belly and I feel nervous. It’s this “nervous” feeling that transforms into a new source of energy that will hold you through to the other side as you face your fear. Tell the offender that you see them doing wrong and they must stop! _ Breathe through it. Using your voice feels good when you can save the world from hurt. _
The will to CALL OUT racism, discrimination and inappropriate sexual advances to remove them from professional spaces — exists. Change how you see the world by taking action. With more eyes aware that these behaviours will no longer be tolerated, please let us work together to evolve to a communal state of mind to support and believe one another if these issues need be addressed.
For the years I participated in events with Fantasy Haus I have been quiet about being hurt by Sharon Selfies/Kodi Reilly. Their competitive nature seemed to have been used against me during a competition in which alcohol and drugs were involved. My performance in an altered state out of the norm was noticed by others at the time. I did what I knew best and stuck close to people I could trust. Days afterwards I talked with Kodi via text message asking what was in the drink I had. Receiving his reply of pineapple juice and L*D was not something to impress me. This event thinned my trust for this individual and I began to put space between us. Ultimately, this happening, brought on a new sense of self care and moved me to find a lifestyle of sobriety. With a clear mind I can take better care of myself, and of my peers. As the actions of Kodi and Sharon Selfies are questioned this week, Kodi has since reached out to me again to further explain that his response in the past was merely for humour. From social media he explains it to me saying “Maybe it was in humour but I don’t recall any of it and can promise I have never spiked you with any drugs or anyone…” I do not take this lightly, and certainly a face to face conversation would prove more truth energetically. I do not want to see this type of behaviour continue within any art scene. Any one who tampers with the health of others is disrespectful and poses a danger to social events.
Talking about our emotions is a tough accomplishment. These past weeks have shown me the importance of vulnerability and taking a step out of the closet even if no one will follow behind you. Change must occur for us to grow. Not each step will be comfortable. However this is the discomfort that brings us joy later in life. Metaphorically, we must burn away what existed for new life to emerge from the ashes. The nutrients and wholesome elements of what worked well will be the building blocks for the new structures that come into being. Even if the new looks entirely different. Nature teaches us this. It’s the environment of the forest or of the beach coast that inspires me to continually learn; changing and adapting my lifestyle. I believe nature will also show us a new way to coexist and remove hazards from our community. If we must sit with our peers and sternly educate them on their wrong doings, let’s do that. If someone is in need of professional help or healing let us bring resources for them to journey on a path of healing. We are intelligent people. And we can provide support in many ways. If we see suffering please let us learn now, to extend ourselves compassionately to bring forth a resolution.
No more tearing things apart.
Mend with the heart. Mend the fissures. Seek to improve yourself.
For the YOUTH!
Onya Boyszdii + Blake Evans
