10/11/2026
PSA Sensitive content*
COMING OUT SHOULD NEVER FEEL LIKE A DEATH SENTENCE.
I remember my coming-out story. Not to assign blame or reopen every wound, but because I know my story is not unique. Somewhere, someone may need to know they are not alone.
Growing up in the UPC church, God, faith, and family were everything. But what happens when who you are doesn't fit the expectations of the family and faith that raised you?
I grew up seeing little to no positive representation of same-sex relationships. What I did hear was ridicule, condemnation, and shame. I prayed. Others prayed over me. But I could not pray, pretend, or force myself into being someone I was not.
I did what I had been taught to do when I needed help: I asked an adult for it.
A counsellor tried to help by facilitating a conversation with my father. Despite good intentions, the response was rejection and an attempt to medically intervene in my sexuality. That moment shattered my hope of finding support and left me fearing for my future.
By 16 I reached a point, many times, where I questioned whether a life like mine was worth living.
I can only dream of how powerfully impactful hearing a story like this at my age would have had in such a positive way. At least I had friends telling me it's going to be okay, but at some point you question how do they know?
A child asked for help and came away wondering whether there was a future worth living simply because of who they were.
And the hurt doesn't simply disappear with age. Even today, I hear family say, “Get over it. You have to move on.” Or, “Oh yeah, that happened to you, too.” As though acknowledging the trauma is the problem rather than confronting what caused it.
You cannot heal a wound that others insist you should have forgotten.
Hollywood may portray coming out as a beautiful moment of acceptance and celebration. For some, it is. For others, it brings rejection, isolation, religious trauma, and fear that the people they love most may never accept them. And for some, the consequences are fatal.
This is why trained teachers, prepared counsellors, accessible mental health resources, and meaningful protections are not optional luxuries.
They are lifelines. Not and attack on any specific religious based belief system.
Young people must be able to ask for help without fearing that their honesty will cost them their family, their safety, or their future.
I have since used my voice to push policymakers to confront these realities, including conversion practices and the need to support survivors. But we cannot wait for someone to scream loudly enough to be heard.
Coming out should never mean choosing between being yourself and staying alive. Our response must ensure that every person who finds the courage to ask for help is met with compassion, safety, and the assurance that their life matters.
Because it does.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE. ❤️
If you or someone you love is struggling with coming out, family rejection, religious trauma, or thoughts of su***de, please reach out.
📞 988 — Su***de Crisis Helpline (call or text, 24/7)
📞 1-866-355-5550 — NB Addiction and Mental Health Helpline
📞 1-800-668-6868 — Kids Help Phone
💬 Text CONNECT to 686868
🚨 911 — Immediate danger
Don't tell someone to get over it. Listen. Believe them. Help them find support.
Coming out should never mean choosing between being yourself and staying alive. Your life matters. Exactly as you are.
Everyone deserves to be able to come out in a safe, accepting, and affirming environment. With anti-2SLGBTQI hate still rampant across Canada, it's crucial, now more than ever, that affirming adults create safer environments for 2SLGBTQI youth.
Use our resource on what you should do when a 2SLGBTQI young person comes out to you at egale.ca/youth-comes-out
