Douglas Godinho

Douglas Godinho VJ and Motion Graphics Designer from Toronto.

(1 of 3) In early August, a confluence of factors led me to a crisis. For too long, I was making excuses for myself and ...
01/02/2026

(1 of 3)
In early August, a confluence of factors led me to a crisis. For too long, I was making excuses for myself and coasting; an outgrowth of a terrible time in my life, I had let it hold me back. The conclusion I reached (or could no longer deny) is that I was living a nihilistic life.
Intellectually, I’ve always considered nihilism a rudderless, uninspired way of living that inevitably slides into the other philosophy I detest: cynicism. With a head full of dreams I was making little to no progress on, I didn’t feel like myself; I knew I was wasting my potential. I took a proverbial “long look at myself” and decided on a formidable goal.
With 3 months until my birthday, I set my goal to lose 30 lbs in that time - an “aggressive cut,” in bodybuilding terms. Aside from eating immaculately clean, I did 2 36-hour fasts per week for most of that time, as well as working out 1-2 times a day to make sure I didn’t lose much muscle in the process.
It had been a while since I pushed myself but I’m happy to report, I hit that goal a few days ahead of schedule - 38 years old with visible abs for the first time in my life.
Resisting the primitive and unconscious urge to eat, especially when being offered post-work pizza, for months on end is the biggest challenge I’ve given myself in a long time and reaching that goal is one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. I think it changed me.

(2 of 3) In 2005, I was 17 and suffering through my first heartbreak. I was taking it about as well as you’d expect from...
01/02/2026

(2 of 3)
In 2005, I was 17 and suffering through my first heartbreak. I was taking it about as well as you’d expect from a dramatic, highly sensitive and self-centred teenager. Numb to just about everything in my life, the thing that snapped me out of it and paved the way to me getting over the whole thing was a concert.
Being the youngest of 3 siblings, I was exposed to a lot of music growing up but Nine Inch Nails is the first band I claimed as my own. I would listen to “Pretty Hate Machine” and “Downward Spiral” endlessly on repeat so getting to see them live was cathartic on a level I had seldom felt, especially given themes of the music. Ever since then, concert visuals have been an interest I pursued almost instinctually.
Fast forward 20 years, I have built a solid resume/reputation in the industry and I’ve gotten to work on some incredible shows. After eluding me for years, I finally got to go on my first tour in April with a classic Canadian Rock band in BTO. It was an incredible experience but when I got back, it started to feel like a one-off and I started feeling like I was going through the motions again; I had stopped pushing myself in this area as well. Out of frustration, in July, I did some training that I had been putting off; I never could have expected the wild ride that was to come.
With .to, not only was I offered another tour but one with a new up-and-coming artist. I got to sit into the design/rehearsal process and I got to be part of North American Tour. It was a huge opportunity and I treated it that way. A few weeks after I got back from that, I got offered yet another touring gig with MGK. Without hesitation, I said “f**k yeah.”
Thank you to everyone who has ever given me a job and made it possible for me to build this career. The people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had this last year has been like nothing I could have imagined when I started down this road - getting to work with world-class talent, travelling the world and doing what I love. It’s enough to say with confidence that I’ll continue to push myself throughout this next year.

(3 of 3) In mid-August, I got my first tattoo. It’s something I had thought about getting for a while - the title of Dav...
01/02/2026

(3 of 3)
In mid-August, I got my first tattoo. It’s something I had thought about getting for a while - the title of David Foster Wallace’s famous commencement speech (https://youtu.be/DCbGM4mqEVw?si=tfcnqp4eIy50Guo9) I would later find out Anthony Bourdain had a tattoo of a quote with a similar sentiment: “I suspend judgment.” (Montaigne)
For those that don’t know, I write a lot. I’ve never pushed myself to be published; I’ve always just done it for myself. I was about 6 years old when I was gifted my first journal and I vividly remember feeling confusion at the concept but I tried it anyway; I’d write about my day for 3 days in-a-row, give or take, before missing a day, get frustrated with myself to the point of disgust and proceed to rip the pages out of that journal to start the cycle over again.
I’ve always been hard on myself like that and it has gotten in the way of many streaks I’ve had. I’m not sure why but, in 2019, I finally cemented the habit of writing daily. And sure, I’ve missed days since but I’ve also more than made up for that. It’s that flexibility that is the real trick with consistency.
July 2025 was the first time I intentionally experimented with not writing for a stretch of time to see what my life would be like without it. It was strange to not examine feelings, thoughts and to just go through life without near-constant reflection; it also coincided with a period where things in my life were falling apart that led to the aforementioned crisis: correlation or causation? I’m still not sure.
I’ve experienced diminishing returns in writing for myself. Though the skill of translating thoughts and experiences to words has its benefits, writing for a reader, no matter how abstract the reader is, is a different kind of writing entirely.
So, I’m going to start developing two Substacks - one will just be personal reflections about what’s happening in my life and the other will revolve around my love of film and adjacent mediums with the intention of spinning it off into a YouTube channel. It’s time for me to develop my voice and see where it can take me (Link in Pf)

Got a new camera earlier this year. Wish I got it sooner because the cooler weather sucks, but it’s been fun so far.
11/12/2022

Got a new camera earlier this year. Wish I got it sooner because the cooler weather sucks, but it’s been fun so far.

A photogenic city.
09/02/2022

A photogenic city.

03/17/2021

"Spheres in the box"

Just experimented with a bunch of s**t. People seemed to have liked it last time I posted it.

03/17/2021

"Star Tunnel"

So much colorful.

03/17/2021

"Through the Wormhole"

I thought these vibrant, calming colors offset the claustrophobia of being in such a tight area. It came together, I think. I'm definitely going to mint this as an - just planning the campaign now.

03/16/2021

This was another fast an easy one. It's straight to the point and it featured one of my favourite Toronto DJs: Greg Gow . I wanted his name to pop in the way credits would on old film trailers.

03/16/2021

This one didn't turn out the way I thought it would have but I think it still has its charm. I miss those happy accidents.

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1 King St W
Downtown Toronto, ON
M5H 2N2

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