14/06/2026
Josh put this video up of me and it made me cry.
All I could think watching it was what a f**cking loser this chick is.
And then it brought up all sorts of feelings about being old (im turning 40 next year) and lame.
But in the moment out there, i was having so much fun . Im@8 weeks PP and it was my first surf back in a very long time and josh as cheering me on while cuddling and smiling with Bruny.
I didn’t want to surf pregnant with Bruny and even before that since Lhotse was born Ive barely surfed. part of me feels sadness and shame around that.
Anyway I guess whatever judgements you might have watching this it couldn’t be harsher than my own self talk. watching it again still makes me want to cry.
So this is just a reminder to myself and maybe you to watch your self talk and maybe take it as a reminder of parts of yourself you feel like you’ve neglected or forgotten… and to bring those parts back online, especially if they bring you joy.
and also that despite what we show of ourselves on here, you can be experiencing the best days of your life alongside lows.