22/06/2026
Back in March I played an Open to Close (OTC) set, the only name on the flyer. Its one of my proudest accomplishments as a local DJ running my own little events, but tbh I've had mixed feelings ever since
Maybe it's imposter syndrome. Or maybe it's my "touch of the tisms" as my wife calls it, that I need everything to be perfect and structured to be happy. But I left the event feeling unhappy, unfulfilled.
I didn't think I gave my best performance. My mixing wasn't as good as I'd like it. Tracks I forgot to play. Tracks I wish I hadn't played. Normally when I'm playing a shorter set, I plan everything to the umpteenth degree. I practice transitions, make sure everything is as smooth as possible, so I can deliver my best. But 7hrs of unknown, I think there were too many variables for my brain
As a side note, I was moving house at the time, I had an unexpected family funeral the morning of the event, and was having daily panic attacks. I think I thought playing DJ that day would solve all my problems. It didn't
I've had a collection of videos people took from the day on my phone, and I haven't looked at them tbh. Haven't been in the frame of mind to do it. And I think scared that others in the crowd had the same impression of the day as me.
But 3mths on, I decided to look in the folder today. This is me playing one of my favorites: Paul Van Dyk - Crush. It always makes me happy. And when I watch this video - I think I look pretty damn happy!
And tbh 3mths later, I do actually have good memories of this event. Some great tracks I played. Some brilliant moments I shared with people. No it wasn't perfect, but it was me, and I've never claimed to anything else. Overall it was a successful day, and I'm proud of how it went
I don't think my next set will be an OTC. I'm not sure when my next one will be, but I'll be better prepared. I think we'll do another classic, locals WBW in September. I just need to think about what sets I want to put on (any suggestions?).
But I'm really looking forward to playing for you again, taking us back to the Golden era of trance which always makes me happy π
- Tim