02/09/2021
Vale John Marsden
Remembering John Marsden and being grateful for the amazing insights he shared with us about parenting.
His tips really hit home and remind us of the beauty in letting our kids explore and be themselves.
John encouraged us to give our children space—to let them roam free and even get bored sometimes.
He believed in the magic of wild places over sterile playgrounds and shopping malls, and I think we can all agree that there’s nothing like a good adventure in nature to spark their imaginations!
His advice to be the adult and say no now and then is a reminder that we’re here to guide them, not to let them take the reins completely.
And let’s not forget the importance of teaching empathy—helping our kids understand that their wins come with the feelings of others, too!
John’s message about encouraging our children to express themselves and to embrace the messy, complex world around us will stick with us.
He had a way of reminding us to appreciate the journey, with all its ups and downs.
A small piece of an amazing legacy.
Here’s to John Marsden—may his wisdom continue to inspire us and keep our families connected and joyful.
Vale John. You will be missed!
“JOHN MARSDEN’S TIPS FOR PARENTS
1. Give children space. Back off. Let them roam. Let them be bored. Don't over-plan their lives. Cut way back on the after-school activities programs.
2. Keep away from all those ghastly, soulless, sterile playgrounds. Keep away from shopping malls. Look for real places. Wild places.
3. Be an adult. Say no to your children at least once a day. If the role of Adult in your family is vacant, then one of your children will fill it. And it won't be pretty.
4. Don't take up all the space. If you are dominating, loud, forceful, your children are highly likely to become passive, lacking spirit and personality … and/or sullen.
5. Believe about 40 per cent of the dramatic stories your children tell you of the injustices, corruption and satanic practices happening at school.
6. Teach them empathy. For example, after their jubilant victory celebrations when they win a sporting match, remind them that their jubilation was only possible because someone else – the losers – have been made to feel awful.
7. Help them develop language skills. Don't finish their sentences for them. Don't correct them when they mispronounce a word – they'll work it out sooner or later. Ask them open-ended questions, that need a detailed answer, not Yes/No questions.
8. Make sure they have regular jobs/duties at home and that those jobs are done to a consistently high standard.
9. Don't whinge endlessly about the miseries of your adult life. A lot of children now are fearful about growing up because their parents paint such a grim picture of the awfulness ahead.
10. Teach them to be very wary of people who Absolutely Know the Absolute Truth about Absolutely Everything! The colour of truth is always grey. Extreme positions are for the ignorant. Every creature, every person and every situation is complex. The universe is a wonderful mystery.”
Originally this post was shared on 23 August 2019
and updated on 10 February 2025
