Heavily Paraphrased Historical Dialogues

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Heavily Paraphrased Historical Dialogues humans: let's build stable and peaceful societies
also humans: no

28/07/2023

Catherine Théot: I'm the Mother of God and Robespierre is the Messiah and I'm gathering fifteen women to surprise him and anoint him as my son
Maximilien Robespierre: wait what? who are you
Marc-Guillaume Alexis Vadier: Oh no Robespierre has a theocratic prophetess working for him who's going to crown him a god-king the Revolution is doomed
Robespierre: yeah idk who that is? just ignore her. anyway back to guillotining people to stop theocracy and monarchism
Vadier: We need to guillotine Robespierre before he becomes a god-king
Robespierre: yeah exactly! wait what [gets arrested and guillotined]

09/12/2022

Eumenes: alright I know that tensions are high but I have brokered a deal that will save Alexander's empire as long as this coalition of regents stays together
Perdiccas: but what if i stomp on the traitors with elephants
Eumenes: no
Perdiccas: yesssss
Elephants: SPROOT :DD
[the entire Wars of the Diadochi and collapse of the Hellenistic world ensues]

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