05/12/2025
On Nov 3rd was the heavenly birthday to the kind soul of my mother and 9 month exact death anniversary - a full gestation of time. And as winter has welcomed itself again, I’m reminded back to this season & the way the snow rested on all the trees the morning I found out ~ time just keeps.
In my adult life, we shared a complicated relationship together — in her passing I was really cautious of my sharing as to limit being triggered by the overwhelmed immediate reactions of ‘I’m sorry for your loss!!!’ and the misunderstanding of our relationship — this has made my grief journey a bit private, protected, and personal in its unfolding.
Through time I feel I have navigated to meet the deep depths of love that was there all along - nestled underneath some layers of dissonance. I’ve reflected that more than anything ~ I wish inner peace & healing for everyone ~ We all deserve to experience love in its fullest capacity and maybe so that ends up being a long journey to find within ourselves (first), too. We are beautiful creatures navigating capitalism and systems that push us to molds - kindness to alls journey to meet the fleeting moments of presence, freedom, & joy ~~ and especially to the kind soul of my dear, kind-hearted Mom now amongst the ethers! My journey of healing has transcended beyond my own and into the understanding of it’s for the both of us now. I can’t explain that feeling in depth though — it’s just something I understand as deeply true.
In this sharing - I offer the space to reflect on what grief means to you or how it’s moved through you in your life? Something as profound as a passing life seems to be initially flooded with the same mechanical response “sorry for your loss!!” ~ in what other ways can we offer words or reflect in the complexities of shifting physical planes? We are gifted with the wealth of expression, articulation, and nuance, yet feel stumbled to be anything more than perhaps worried to say something too sensitive. If wanting to connect or share experience, I encourage the softness of exploration of words around this topic with me. If moving through grief, I’d be honored to share reflections with you. Please be in touch ~