12/09/2024
A note from Steph -
Let’s start with this. I take full responsibility for any thing that has gone wrong here in any way, shape or form. I cannot and will not comment on what all is wrong because I honestly don’t know. As I have told our speedway family, I know there are problems but I haven’t yet wrapped my head around what they all are. I should have closed the doors and tended to healing this TBI, but that’s not how I’m wired. Instead I stayed laser focused on keeping the doors open and racing, not having an understanding of just how much i was struggling and failing. Every single person who is angry or confused is fully justified because I did not respond to messages, I failed to complete tasks. I was unable to run my business the way it needed to be run. Since I solely handled the business end of the speedway and only allowed the boys to handle the racing side and race days and others handled the concessions, no one else could fix it or even know what needed fixed.
We had some issues last fall and then I got hurt before I could handle everything. No one is denying any of this but I do believe some more info is needed. Did I disappear at the end of last year, absolutely. Did that end up me being absent for most of 2024, without a doubt. The plan was to take a month at the end of last year and figure out how to best deal with anything we didn’t do well with in 2023 and we had a long list of things we knew we needed to fix. We were figuring it out on fly in 2023 and we missed things, were honestly overwhelmed and just trying yo get through the year and restructure based on what we had learned along the way and more importantly by learning from our mistakes. We wanted to go in to 2024 with a much more solid plan. (BTW- One of those changes that was implemented was not mailing checks but ensuring that each racer got paid in cash or certified check at the race track in 2024. We also comped tickets to every single person who came to the gate and said they didn’t get a refund from the 2023 speedweek races until the race prior to the 2024 speedweek date, even if that person was not on the list of over 1,200 refunds we issued or whether or not they had proof. All gates were told no questions asked, just get a name and try to make them happy.)
Then i got hurt and nothing has been normal since. I could not communicate through most of the winter. Come spring, I could communicate better but things were still not good.
This morning I was reminded that when we opened this year someone who is no longer part of our team told all of us that he felt it might be best that I not even be present at the speedway because being around me was like being around someone who was drunk compared to being around the normal me and he was concerned for people to understand that. I struggled to have conversations, couldn’t come up with words, I would go blank frequently, couldn’t complete tasks, couldn’t come up with names or put names with faces, my responses weren’t appropriate for me and my short term memory was nonexistent. Everyone knew something was terribly wrong with my head but we had such a strong group for race days that it made everyone comfortable that on race days we had it all covered, so we raced. While my situation had big ups and downs, I was surrounded by wonderful people who kept things going while I couldn’t (Ethan, Reece, Vera, Kassie, Brett, Paula, Jenna, Missy, Glenn, Bert, Sharon, Jaylynn, Kolton, Sue, Steve, TJ, Blane, Steve P, Zach, Charlie, Kevin, Derrick, Galen- I can never thank you enough! to anyone I missed, when my head is clear I will fix it! I promise!).
When it became clear that the decision to keep the track open instead of immediately dealing with a problem that was critical to me getting better could be a life changing one, we bit the bullet and canceled events. Then brokenheartedly canceled more because what it lead to was me realizing that I had lost almost a year of my life and I had no clue. I suddenly had moments of extreme clarity where I realized just how badly my cognitive function had been and that I didn’t and don’t know what was handled and what was not and in the same breathe being told it was critical I avoid stress. So now I can’t handle figuring it out until I’m cleared that the stress isn’t going to hurt me, which makes it all more complicated. And trust me, I also understands it sounds ridiculous, unless you are the one living it. I stand by not being willing to risk the safety of one person or the speedway itself or my own life/health to host an event. I love racing, this speedway and my children too much to be willing to do so. While most of you believe we should be able to open the doors and let anyone take charge, I believe the person legally responsible needs to be able to say with confidence, “I have all the bases covered and we are good to go” and I can’t do that right now. I am still in the thick of trying to heal from the issues with my brain and should not even be writing this let alone putting on events. Please understand this is all on me but also know I kept the doors open and prayed for the best because I love this sport and believed that we could overcome the short term problems but in the end I have to chose my health and hope of a long lifetime to watch my boys grown in to the incredible men I know they will be over all else. The rest is business and no one is more upset that the business side is a wreck than me, I invested in this speedway believing we could revive it in the long run only to have life and circumstances find us in a situation where there may not be a long anything. I certainly wouldn’t have invested every penny I had with the intention of failing and none of you can beat me up more than I do myself but you also haven’t lived my life or taken a gamble this big for something you believe in and love and until you do, you can hush. 😘
More when I am healthy enough to handle it and not a moment sooner but I must say this:
Please know the fair board is committed to the speedway operating for a very long time and we are committed to working with them to make sure that happens.
Stephanie
p.s. No, I am not doing interviews. My speech is still compromised, stress makes it worse. When I do speak about this I want it to be clear, concise and honest. If I don't have a handle on everything and don't have great communication skills I can't give you all of that so it will wait.
