Legacy of A Tadpole

08/08/2026

I wrote this for a PE support group I joined and I figured I would put it out here for all my Facebook friends. It serves as an update as to what's been going on with me in case I haven't reached out to everyone. Here goes:

I really wish I didn't have a personal Pulmonary Embolism (PE) story to share. But life had other plans. Four years ago, my husband nearly died from a massive double saddle PE (13-inch clots in each lung). I learned a lot about PEs back then, but I never expected to face one myself.

My nightmare began on July 9th. Half-asleep in the kitchen, I slipped on a puddle from a melted ice cube and crushed my ankle. Surgery followed on July 17th, leaving me with a "bionic" ankle.

I was managing okay until last weekend when I developed severe pain under my right rib cage that radiated to my back. Assuming it was a painkiller-induced bowel blockage, I tried treating it at home.

My daughter eventually convinced me to go to the ER. The CT scan revealed my bowels were fine, but I had a PE. I instantly panicked, terrified I wouldn’t survive based on what my husband went through. Fortunately, the doctor was wonderful and reassured me that while serious, it was nowhere near the size of my husband's clots.

I spent a few days in the step-down ICU on a Heparin IV and was discharged last Tuesday on Eliquis. While in the hospital, they also found a DVT behind my knee on my surgical leg. Between the PE pain and the heavy hospital painkillers, my brain is still pretty fried, but I’m doing my best to rest.

On the way home from the hospital, I saw my orthopedic surgeon. He removed my 28 staples and put me in a boot. I am entirely non-weight bearing until September 2nd. Because of balance issues, crutches are out of the question, so I'm using a wheelchair.

My anxiety is on ultra-high alert right now; I have so many strange nerve sensations in my foot and leg that I can't tell what's surgical healing and what's the DVT. Every twitch scares me, though my insurance nurse has been very supportive. While my oxygen levels are great (95–98%) and I’m not short of breath, the exhaustion is real, and my right side is still sore.

The physical toll is compounded by massive financial stress. I was laid off last Christmas, my unemployment is gone, and I obviously can't drive for any side hustle right now. I've secured SNAP benefits, but resources in Oklahoma are limited. I can scrape by a little longer, but if I don't have income soon, I'm in trouble.

Thankfully, my children are providing incredible physical and emotional support. But they can only do so much; they have their own families to raise too. My husband has not been well since his PE. I was already emotionally drained due to being his full-time caregiver, being the only income for us, and handling everything for our home and budget before this happened.

Now, I feel like my life is a twisted mess and I’ve hit my absolute limit. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm just so tired. Right now, my only focus is healing and finding a job ASAP so I don't lose my home.

Thanks in advance for the prayers. 💜🙏

07/31/2026

My apologies for not being very active on this page lately. I fell on July 9th and broke my ankle. That resulted in surgery to put hardware in. So, it's been a tough go. I'm finally coming up for air. I figured I add something I just wrote here.

My Love for Ravens and Crows

By Andrea Tadpole

Written July 30, 2026

I have always loved birds and had different experiences with them. I truly believe that birds are spirit animals and to come to us at different times to teach us or comfort us.

My beloved transition to the other side on February 11, 2022. My family has Native American roots and so there's always some kind of significance because of that to different things. But when my dad died I felt completely devastated and broken. He was my hero, he was my safe flights in this world. And here I was this woman in my 60s completely torn up like a little girl inside because my daddy was gone.

So, one day a bird came to me. I pulled up at the Big Lots store that we had in town and got out of my car. Who were with this little black bird with a long tail flipping around and I started laughing because it reminded me of how Native American dances and the fancy dancers. Then I thought of my dad.

Here I was looking at this little bird laughing my ass off in the middle of this busy parking lot, shouting dance daddy dance because I really believed that he came to me through that bird at that very moment. That little bird just danced and danced. Every time I would go to the shopping center that bird would find me. This little bird came one of the highlights of my day. I later found out that it is a grackle and I believe it comes from the crow family.

This went on for a few weeks, and then one morning I was up unusually early for me. I went outside to feed the dog. There's a side door with a screen door on the garage. I always use that. I put the dog food out and I turned around to get the water to set it out. I had left the big door open so you could see out the screen door. I turned around to set the water out and realize there was a massive number of birds eating the dog food. Most of them were crows, there were also grackles and ravens along with little finches and other birds. I stood there and watched them from inside garage and it was like such a beautiful spiritual moment for me. I felt like my ancestors all came to visit me. This has gone on like that ever since.

One morning I was up really early feeding the dog again. The crowd of birds was gathering in the trees and on the fence, watching me and waiting for me to get done and leave so they could eat. I went back inside the screen door and turned back to look at them and out of nowhere a huge raven flew from the very top of the tree across the street to the top of the fence in my backyard. He was gorgeous, I mean absolutely gorgeous iridescent black. As he swooped down and landed on the top of my fence, all of the birds stood still. They did not eat or play in the water. It was like this holy reverence was happening as if the hallowed king of the birds have landed. There was this sacred silence for about a minute or two. Finally, The raven flew down, got a couple of bites of food and a drink and flew away. Then everyone else started eating as usual.

I believe that this raven was my dad and he was telling me, "I'm still with you in spirit, God is here with you too so stop overthinking and have faith!" Yes, I'm a chronic over thinker and very good disaster preparation ju**ie before the disaster that never happens.

There are always a massive numbers of crows that come to eat and bathe in the water. They have their own area now. I have four ravens who move as couples around my property and across the street in the trees. I know that two of them are my dad and my stepmom. My stepmom died a year ago this past January. We were very close. After my dad died she always told me she would find a way back to me when she died. I believe she did. I believe the other two are my grandparents.

When I am going through a wave of grief and very sad or having problems crows, ravens and grackles always manage to find me. They leave gifts too sometimes.

So, I view birds as spirit animals and messengers from the other side now more than I ever have in my life. I love them very deeply and they are sacred to me.

06/16/2026

With Erin McCarthy – I just made it onto their weekly engagement list by being one of their top engagers! 🎉

06/13/2026

With Erin McCarthy – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉

06/09/2026

Amen!!

06/09/2026

TODAY IS DOUBLE VOTE DAY!!!
Every vote counts as double. I'm in 4th place. To make it to the next official phase, I need to secure the #1 spot by June 11th. Please help me with your votes. You can vote free one time a day.

This journey has been amazing, and winning the $25,000 grand prize and the feature in Artforum would truly be life-changing for my art career.If you have 10 seconds today, please click the link in my bio to cast your daily vote. Sharing this post helps immensely too! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 🙏✨

Creating Art Was My First Language. I Could Draw Before I Could Walk. Creating Is My Sacred Space Of Peace In This Chaotic World.

06/07/2026

I am in 4th place! PLEASE VOTE FOR ME!!! I have to get 1st place to move to the next round! DOUBLE VOTES END IN 10 MINUTES!!

Creating Art Was My First Language. I Could Draw Before I Could Walk. Creating Is My Sacred Space Of Peace In This Chaotic World.

06/06/2026

I just wanted to post this video that I did on June 4, 2026 at 1:28 p.m. CST. It's all about my little ravens that come to visit me. In case you don't know me, you will understand how much I love ravens after this video. Have an awesome day!

06/06/2026

With SB Mowing – I just got recognized as one of their top fans! 🎉

06/06/2026

DOUBLE VOTES UNTIL 9PM PDT TODAY!!!
I just want everyone to know that I am completely blown away. Because of your incredible support, I am now officially in the Group Finals. To make it to the next official phase, I need to secure the #1 spot by June 11th.

This journey has been amazing, and winning the $25,000 grand prize and the feature in Artforum would truly be life-changing for my art career.

If you have 10 seconds today, please click the link and cast your free daily vote. It counts as 2 today! Sharing this post helps immensely too! Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. 🙏✨

Creating Art Was My First Language. I Could Draw Before I Could Walk. Creating Is My Sacred Space Of Peace In This Chaotic World.