Around Seattle in 80 Dates

10/05/2026

Setting Boundaries in Dating: A Quick Guide 🛑✨
When you spend too much time trying to understand someone else's behavior, you forget to ask the most important question:
Does how they treat me actually work for me?

Boundaries aren't about speeches, drama, or threats, they are simply about deciding what YOU do when someone's behavior isn't acceptable.

Here are the non-negotiable rules:
❌ No date set with a specific time and day? Don't hold your evening open.
❌ Texting for weeks without making plans? Stop having a relationship on WhatsApp.
❌ Left on "I'll update you"? Don't send a reminder.
❌ Not making you a priority? Stop prioritizing them.
❌ Canceled last minute again? Don't reschedule.
❌ Disappeared and came back like nothing happened? Keep the door closed. Or better: block!
❌ Reaching out only when convenient? Don't be available on demand.
❌ Hiding you from friends and family? Never agree to be a secret.
❌ Are you the only one reaching out and planning? Stop initiating. Relationships shouldn't move only when you push.
❌ Pushed after you said "no"? Walk away.
❌ Dismissing your goals? Shrink their role in your life, not your dreams.
❌ Talking only about themselves? No second date. You want a dialogue, not a monologue.
❌ Apologizing but repeating the behavior? Trust the pattern, not the apology.

No drama. No games. Just respond to how people treat you, and step back when it doesn't align with what you deserve.

👇 Which one of these rules was the hardest for you to learn? Tell me in the comments!

04/12/2026

Forget the 5-star restaurant. Want to know what’s actually sexy? 😌

I just experienced something that reminded me why real connection beats a "perfect" date every single time. A man who sees what needs to be done in your sanctuary, your home, and picks up a tool to help you fix and organize it.

I’m telling you: watching a man handle a "to-do" list is better than a candlelit dinner!

In my book, Around Seattle in 80 Dates, I talk a lot about the search for connection. But lately, I’ve realized something deeper. When a man helps you organize your space, it isn't just about a leaky faucet or a crooked shelf.
It’s about Acts of Service. It’s seeing his physical competence.

• It’s the intimacy of working side-by-side in your private space.
• It’s the incredible feeling of knowing, "He has my back."

There is no better way to move through life than with someone who wants to make your path smoother. When we take care of each other’s environments, we are creating a more meaningful, happy life.

To the men: You don't need a fancy reservation to impress a woman. Your competence, your willingness to help, and your care for her "sanctuary" is the ultimate aphrodisiac. We see you, and we appreciate it more than you know.

To the women: Am I alone here? Or is a man with a screwdriver officially sexier than a man with a tuxedo?

P.S. To the one who spent time in my sanctuary this week: Thank you for having my back. You made "moving through life" feel a whole lot lighter.

04/02/2026

Stop Apologizing for Your Identity.

I saw a post from a woman in her 30s who was exhausted. Every date she went on turned into a trial. Because she is Jewish and Israeli, men felt entitled to "critique" her beliefs before the appetizers even arrived.

I’m experiencing the exact same thing. In my book, Around Seattle in 80 Dates, I explore the messy, beautiful, and often frustrating world of connection. Here is the hard truth: You cannot find the right people if you are hiding who you are to avoid the wrong ones.
I choose to be loud about being Jewish and Israeli on my profile. I don't see it as a "barrier" - I see it as a filter.

We have a massive problem today where people are disconnected and afraid to be authentic. If you want a meaningful, happy life, you have to stop wasting time on people who require you to shrink. My business, ZUZLA, is about moving—moving your body and moving toward a life that fits you. That starts with standing your ground before the first date even starts.
The Critique: Most people’s "weakness" in dating is being a people-pleaser. You think you’re being "open-minded," but you’re actually being "boundary-less." Put the "controversial" truth in your bio. Let the wrong ones swipe left so the right ones can find you.
What is your "Day 1" dealbreaker that you’re finally ready to be honest about?

02/28/2026

He wrote this after just a few nice messages about cooking and traveling:

“I am looking for my best friend and my one and only best lover… a woman who wants to commit to a life with me…”

We have never met. Never talked.

Question for you:
Is this romantic… or too much too soon?

When someone jumps straight to “one and only” and “commit to life” before even meeting … how do you respond?

Do you:
A. Feel flattered
B. Feel pressured
C. Think it’s love-bombing
D. Think he’s just being clear about intentions

I’ll share what I answered in the first comment 👇

02/18/2026

The Spark-to-Burn Progression

Can we stop acting like "The Spark" and "The Slow Burn" are rivals? 🥊

In my experience, they’re actually partners. The Spark is the mandatory entry fee; it’s that "I definitely want to see you again" feeling that gets you to the second and third date. Without it, you’re just making polite conversation with a stranger.

But the Slow Burn is where the magic happens. It’s when that initial interest actually gains momentum, gets stronger, and grows into something exclusive. 📈✨

If you don’t have the spark, you never get to the burn. And if you don't have the burn, you just have a firework that fizzles out by Tuesday.

I’m curious—do you think the "Spark" is a mandatory requirement for a second date, or are you willing to wait for the "Slow Burn" to start from scratch? 👇

Whag are your thoughts?
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Avk9eATX3/?mibextid=wwXIfr

02/14/2026

Happy Valentine’s Day 😏

Single? Stay home. Avoid the $48 pasta and the crowded tables. Light a candle, order what you actually like, and enjoy the peace. Luxury.

Dating? Remember, they’re not here to complete you. They’re here to upgrade an already solid system.

Love is great. Discounts and self respect are greater. 😉

This Valentine’s Day, remember: Love should add to your life, not define it. The right person won’t complete you, they’ll complement the incredible life you’...

02/13/2026

Touchy Tom and the Disappearing Act

I went on a date with Touchy Tom.
Nice guy. Good conversation. Decent shoes.

But… his hands were applying for a full time position way too early.

I said calmly, “Hey, slow down.”
He backed off and instantly switched to the “injured gentleman” role. Fascinating transformation. Oscar worthy.

Next day?
Silence.

No mention of the show I invited him to.
No “I had a great time.”
No follow up.

So here’s today’s dating tip:
If a man touches too fast and then disappears when you set a boundary, do not send a “Good morning 😊”

Silence is data.

If he’s interested, he will step forward.
If he fades, he saved you time.

Conclusion:
Do not chase Touchy Tom.
Let him become Ghostly Posty all by himself.

02/01/2026

Exhibit A of why dating is so draining lately. 🤦‍♀️

I tried to pivot the conversation toward something real, and he doubled down on his portfolio. It’s disappointing that so many men think women are just "input/output" machines where you insert a villa and receive interest.
Question for the group: Why is it so hard to find a man who can hold a deep conversation without checking his net worth first? Let’s talk about it in the comments. 👇

01/31/2026

Dating after 55 is not about lowering standards.
It’s about raising awareness.

Chemistry is fun, but consistency is sexy.
Daily texts mean nothing if actions don’t match.
You’re not here to fix, rescue, or heal anyone.
You’re here to enjoy, connect, and feel calm.

At this stage of life, the real green flags are kindness, emotional stability, curiosity, and respect for boundaries.

Dating should add joy to your already full life, not drain it.

If you’re dating over 55 and want less drama and more clarity, you’re in the right place.
Tell me, what’s one thing you no longer tolerate in dating? My answer is in the first comment. 

01/30/2026

Bingo!