Million's Un-Shattered Treasure's

09/02/2022

Finally getting somewhere with my art. First attempt at making chess pieces. They actually turned out pretty well.

08/12/2022

Rory psychological war

08/10/2022

Raised by a narcissistic parent

https://youtu.be/08Vn5J4q42A

I hope this encourages anyone that is feeling stuck in a situation of toxicity.

Some interesting events have happened recently...

Where my past has come back a knocking.

Not only did the drunk psychologically abusive ex-fiance open the door to things from my past that I have kept nailed shut.... But some other things as well.

I came across this video and things are still the same.

Speaking to this woman who no longer deserves the title of mom.. Nothing has changed.

In fact she has completely created an entirely different scenario of the events that have happened throughout my life with her. And she believes 💯 without doubt the lies she's speaks is true.

Being out and away from psychological and narcissistic abuse, I see so clearly now.

I see how I lost a lot of time from all the unrealistic psychological fear of my ex-husband and birthing person.

He had dug his claws so deep into my brain. I struggled with leaving the house in fear he would kill me.

She dug her claws deep in my brain I bought a tent and stuff for camping that I kept in my car. Never knowing what personality I would get and if that day was the day she was going to kick my kids and I out.

Stepping out and away from all the craziness. It's crazy how I was made to believe for so long I was the problem.

I recently heard that one of my siblings has cut her off completely and I am so proud of her. It is not easy to continue to grieve and mourn somebody you've lost when they're not dead.

When I look back at all the stuff I went through and it gives me this feeling of wanting to stand up and fight for them. To stand up and protect them.

Still to this day when I tell somebody my story. I think I need to write that book everyone keeps telling me I should.
Especially because it will help the ones I see now going through it.

I see now the domino effect the Birthing person had on my life. I see how her choices made a very negative ripple effect that has spewed into each generation after her.

By removing myself it ends for my family with me. My boys have experienced abandonment by ex husband (s***m donor) because he doesn't deserve the title dad.

Abandonment from my own family but somehow God brought healing through others. We've gone through losing my dad and somehow he's still here protecting us.

I don't know who this message will reach today. If you are experiencing this type of abuse. Or if you don't even realize it because you're stuck in it and you think it's normal.

You Are Not alone.
You are not crazy.
It is not your fault.
There is hope.
You can get away from the toxicity.
You can start your healing journey.
You just have to take the first step of placing one foot in front of the other.

If there is one thing I could go back and tell myself 4 years ago.

Stop allowing psychologically abusive people to live rent free in your head.

Stop living in unrealistic fear.

Don't keep the door open to people you suck the light out of your soul!

For anyone out there that deals with a narcissistic parent. Just because they are biologically your parent does not mean you have to keep a relationship with...

08/09/2022

08/08/2022

Some do get it, find one that does!!

~Carla 💜💜

07/21/2022

07/13/2022

ITS OK, NOT TO FEEL OK. I DONT.

07/13/2022

I believe we will never forget the pain we've experienced, but we don't have to keep reliving it. We can heal. We deserve to. https://carolineabbott.com/2022/02/acceptance-a-vital-part-of-healing/

07/13/2022

We made a promise, you broke it. I understand why.

You're no longer suffering.

This world is so superficial, lacking compassion and empathy.

Mental health is so important! Many don't seem to care or want to care or even try to understand.

So many struggle in silence. Because we see through who actually cares and who is just going through the motions with their words.

Feeling like they are screaming in the inside with no one to hear them.

In our darkest moments is when we truly see the true colors of the ones that say they love us.

This is sad and heartbreaking.

You don't know the demons others are fight so always be kind! Or at least try to be kind. No one is perfect we all have our moments.

I'm angry!
Su***de isn't a copout it's not selfish. I know my views on this has changed over the years as I mature. Sometimes it's a permanent solution to ending the constant eternal struggles. I've known people that have done everything and anything to get the proper help they need and they still... I get it.

There are those that reach out time and time again for help and then their are those that don't. Or they tried and shut down because they opened up to the ones they thought would understand only to met with feeling guilty or more ashamed for even opening up to begin with.

Who are we to judge and condemn someone who is struggling and trying to reach out for help?! Even if you don't understand what they're going through at least show some freaking compassion instead being cold-hearted.

I don't want to another's negative opinion about someone who ended their life.

People can be so cruel and arrogant it's disgusting.

I don't know who will see this post.

I know the internal struggle from trauma, PTSD, loss, depression. Things you can't just get over.

If this post reaches you today and you are feeling like you just don't want to live and you don't want to keep fighting please reach out call The su***de hotline
1-800-273-8255

Or send me a message. Even though I don't know you I would rather listen to your struggles I would rather be there than you take your life.

Anyone who is struggling with mental health, PTSD, trauma anything! You're not alone.

05/21/2022

05/21/2022

Come joined us

05/12/2022

Two years ago till now...

I technically own my own home. It's a camper but it's paid off and mine. (Thank you Dad)

The boys are doing well and by the grace of God I'm somehow able to keep up with all there appointments and therapy.

I'm working full time.. The first time since 2009 was the last time I had a full time job.

I'm three class away from my AA in arts and 25% done with the Funeral service program.

I'm CANA certified to do cremations and working on getting my apprentice license for embalming.

My nightmares are slim to none. Although I still struggle with flight or fight here and there.

I'm finally in the right kind of therapy for my PTSD.

Thanks to Oasis church Pastor Steve Coad I will soon have electricity to the shed and will be able to do my glass art again.

For the first time I think ever.... I'm seeing someone that is healthy mentally, emotionally, and spiritually for me and my boys... And very understanding which I'm not use too.

I'm grateful for all the doors God's opened for me, never leaving me through all the craziness I've been through. I'm also grateful for choosing to not give up. Because it's not easy.

Thank you Dad for pushing me in the right direction and for never giving up on me even though we lost ten years.. You believed in me and somehow I still remained your little girl.

Thank you to everyone who has been there in my journey to healing and overcoming. Whether we still talk or don't. I'm grateful for you, and thankful for the parts you played in my life.

04/04/2022

2 years of my life....

After the first year when I left I should have listened to friends and family... I should have listened to his family... To not go back. Yet I gave the benefit of the doubt....

First guy I 💯 let down every wall, since ex-husband.

Never would have thought this person would re-trigger my PTSD again and again and again. And continue too...

Even through all of this God is turning everything around for good and I'm grateful for it.

So many positive doors keep opening up.
This song is so true...

Another in the Fire (Live) Lyrics

[Verse 1]
There’s a grace when the heart is under fire
Another way when the walls are closing in
And when I look at the space between
Where I used to be and this reckoning
I know I will never be alone

[Chorus 1]
There was another in the fire
Standing next to me
There was another in the waters
Holding back the seas
And should I ever need reminding
Of how I've been set free
There is a cross that bears the burden
Where another died for me

[Tag 1]
There is another in the fire

For those that are still in a relationship with a narcissist. Know you are not alone. I never thought I'd end up back in one when I had come so far with therapy and healing.
I did, just another learning lesson of different signs to watch for going forward.

And know that if you do fall back into that type of relationship you're not a failure you're not alone!!

Remember that you are worthy, you are loved, and you are made to do great things!!!
God is with you in the fire! He doesn't leave you! No matter how far you run or stray from him he is with you!!

I know being in a narcissistic relationship it feels so alone. But remember and hold on To You Are Not alone!!!

You can get out and you can heal!!!

03/15/2021

I can't believe it's 10 years today.

10 years ago Elijah and I almost died during labor. Placenta abruption. He had little to no oxygen for 3 hours before they realized and I started hemorrhaging blood.

(All while living in an abusive marriage)

I was told that he would never be fully potty trained, or verbal. He is very much verbal and potty trained (out of diapers) He still needs to be told to go, but that is okay.

It has been a roller coaster being his mom but I am extremely happy and blessed. He's made so much progress since I got away from the abusive ex-husband.

This kid saved my life 10 years ago. One day he'll see it. I believe he will continue to grow and become more and more independent has he continues learning.

He's not normal like what society expects normal to be but he's my normal 🥰🥰

And I don't care what anybody says this kid is absolutely amazing!!

03/07/2021

❤️

02/25/2021

Beautiful day out!

02/23/2021

Hey ladies!!!
No matter what life throws your way remember this:
You are strong!
You are unique!
You are beautiful!
You are a fighter!
You can do anything you put your mind too!
Don't allow your inner critic to bring you down!
If you feel like crying, let it out! But don't stay there!
Stand up tall fix your crown and remember whose daughter you are (Christ daughter)!
You have a purpose!
You were beautiful and wonderfully made!
No matter where you are in life right now, I promise you better days are coming. Just hold on and keep fighting! Look at your progress and how far you have come! Keep going, you are almost there! Be beautiful!
Be you!

02/23/2021

When the emotional pain takes over... it pours out on an old happy painting....

02/23/2021

Didn't turn out how I thought it would but it still turned out great!

02/23/2021

02/19/2021

There hasn't been a moment I don't miss you. You were protective of me in ways that wasn't overbarring or controlling.

Not always in the best way but you questioned me and pushed me to think for myself. Tought me how to depend on God and myself to get things done. Raised me to always fight and never give up.

You knew how to push my buttons and say things at times that cut deep. Our relationship wasn't perfect and we had our challenges, but at my core I know I will always be your little girl!

02/02/2021

01/09/2021

Albert F. Meyers Jr.

https://youtu.be/i2jMI2Xpdbg

Meyers, Albert F Jr. 74, passed away Dec 23th, 2020 in Pinellas Park FL. Son of the late Albert Meyers Sr. & Mildred Heckman Lahr of Nazareth, PA. Survived b...

01/01/2021

My dad believed in me in a way I didn't see or understand till recently. Finally getting around to actually getting the shop/she shed in top shape.

01/01/2021

Albert Meyers Obituary (2021) - The Express Times

Albert Meyers Obituary (2021) - The Express Times

View Albert Meyers's obituary, send flowers and sign the guestbook.

12/31/2020

Meyers, Albert Franklin Jr. Son of the late Albert Meyers Sr. & Mildred Heckman Lahr of Nazareth, PA. Survived by his beloved Fiancé Antonella, his children Rodney, Amy, Altrina, Martin, Kathy, Michelle, Million & late Sean, his sister Helen Flyte of Bath, PA & late Viola Hawk. He left behind many grandchildren, great grandchildren, cousins, nieces & nephews. He was a proud man with a big heart. He loved the Lord, his family & will forever be in our hearts.

12/31/2020

Albert Meyers Obituary - Ellenton, FL

Albert Meyers Obituary - Ellenton, FL

Celebrate the life of Albert Meyers, leave a kind word or memory and get funeral service information care of Groover Funeral Home.

12/30/2020

Albert Meyers Obituary - Ellenton, FL

Albert Meyers Obituary - Ellenton, FL

Celebrate the life of Albert Meyers, leave a kind word or memory and get funeral service information care of Groover Funeral Home.

12/23/2020

I will forever be your little girl. Daddy you will strongly missed.