05/26/2026
AITA for asking a colleague to mind her own business after my dad "groomed" my mum and reporting her to my manager for this?
Throwaway as I don't want to compromise my main account. A bit of background: it was my mums (53f) birthday a few days ago. My dad (64m) decided to treat her to a dinner in her favourite restaurant.
It's worth mentioning that my dad does not speak English, and my mum is not a native speaker either, but she is pretty fluent in it. My mum also looks significantly younger than she is due to working out, diet, and different beauty 'therapies,' while my dad looks his age. So, one of the waitresses pulled my mum aside and asked if she had been groomed by my dad.
My mother thought that being groomed means being taken care of and treated, so she replied positively. After she couldn't understand why the waitress urged her to leave and hide and thought it's a surprise. Long story short police got called and nearly arrested my dad until Mum cleared the air, showed her passport, and said they were married for over 25 years.
No hard feelings; they left a decent tip for the restaurant for doing something and laughed at the situation (more like miscommunication). Now, on Friday, I was telling this story to my work friend, and we both agreed that it was funny. One of our work colleagues, Nancy, intervened and said if she was the police officer she would still take my dad into custody as due to their age difference its clear to her that my mother was groomed by him.
Just hearing that wanted me to vomit, since my parents met each other when both of them had successful careers and my dad was working as a member of the police force himself for years and adopted me and raised me as his own daughter. I snapped and asked Nancy to mind her own business and stop making assumptions, but she carried on. I had no choice but to get the manager involved, and both of us got dismissed until Monday to wait for HR to look into the issue.
Since then, Nancy posted a rant on social media and called me an a__hole for 'supporting grooming of women by older rich man,' and some other people agreed with her. This entire situation makes me angry, but AITA for reporting her to the management? Edit: it seems a lot of people think that somehow my mum looks like a young teen.
She isn't. I'd say she looks about middle 30s, judging by my colleagues guessing her age. She uses botox and other 'therapies ' to keep young as her job involves meeting a lot of people, be seen by a lot of people, so she has to look presentable (before someone else jumps on it no its not prostitution or anything like that, think more in filming/acting).
Possibly she stole her secret of being forever young from Paul rudd or Jared leto, I don't know. Where we live grooming in adults is recognised, but mostly in a way to push someone towards prostitution or trafficking. And to the person who said my dad was sleeping with my mum since she was 18, please seek help.
They didn't even know each other until my mum was 25 and already pregnant with me.