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Billie Noakes, Writer and Storyteller

Billie Noakes, Writer and Storyteller The business/feature writer you want for crisp, clean copy: http://billienoakes.com AND…I' I want to put the power of Storytelling to work on YOUR bottom line!

All across the country, businesses large and small, charitable and profit-making, are discovering that you can't beat a good story as the key to opening hearts OR wallets. I've always had a way with words, and I'd like to use my skills in crafting stories for YOUR business that can build employee and customer loyalty, enhance corporate branding, and support effective staff training. Isn't it nice

All across the country, businesses large and small, charitable and profit-making, are discovering that you can't beat a good story as the key to opening hearts OR wallets. I've always had a way with words, and I'd like to use my skills in crafting stories for YOUR business that can build employee and customer loyalty, enhance corporate branding, and support effective staff training. Isn't it nice

Operating as usual

STORY SHARE. My friend Megan Hicks is an INCREDIBLE storyteller, and her true-life stories always make me laugh! Here, a...
03/25/2020
Megan Hicks - West Chester Story Slam, March 2015

STORY SHARE. My friend Megan Hicks is an INCREDIBLE storyteller, and her true-life stories always make me laugh! Here, an 8-year-old Megan reminds us of days when toilet paper was much more bountiful ... and kids were prone to repeat things we wish they wouldn't! Thank you for this needed laugh, Megan!

Megan Hicks tells the story of attending a classmate's birthday. The theme of the night was Innocence. Learn more at wcstoryslam.com.

STORY SHARE, courtesy of Richard Martin on World Storytelling Day, March 20, 2020. Enjoy!
03/24/2020
The Pleiades

STORY SHARE, courtesy of Richard Martin on World Storytelling Day, March 20, 2020. Enjoy!

A Swedish fairytale of a voyage of seven young people, and where it took them.

STORY SHARE: Found this on www.surfersam.com/ :The toddler was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an acci...
03/23/2020
Funny Jokes. Short Stories. New Funny Pictures. News, Health, Money, Success, Music and Life

STORY SHARE: Found this on www.surfersam.com/ :

The toddler was maybe 2 1/2 years old and had just recovered from an accident. Her mom had to run an errand, and left the toddler home with dad.

Someone had given the toddler a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of her favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when the toddler brought Daddy a little cup of "tea," which was just water.

After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, Mom came home.

Dad made her wait in the living room to watch the toddler bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing!"

Mom waited, and sure enough, here comes the little girl, down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and Mom watched him drink it up.

Then she says, (as only a mother would know . . ... )

"Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Funny Jokes, Short Stories and New Funny Pictures. News, Health, Money, Success, Technology, Music and Life. Enjoy yourself. Laugh a lot.

03/22/2020

STORY SHARE. I was gonna wait till tomorrow to start sharing a story a day during the crazy days of quarantine, but what the heck. I'm feeling like a renegade, so I'm starting today!

This one is an original, "The Three Hermit Crabs (sorry, little pigs)". I thought we could use something light and humorous about now.

Comments are welcome!

"The Three Hermit Crabs (sorry, little pigs)"
Copyright 2010 and 2020 by Billie S. Noakes. All Rights Reserved.

***
Three Hermit Crabs named Lamar, Tommy, and Nancy were hanging out at St. Pete Beach trying to stay out of the hot sun, when a tourist put her beach towel on the sand right next to the rock they were shaded by.

Nancy didn't like loud music, but that mattered not a bit to the young tourist.

The girl turned on her radio and blasted Lamar, Tommy, and Nancy with music so loud, it made their legs curl in! But they were shaded and cool by the rock and didn’t want to move, so they sat there, irritated, and wished she would just leave.

It’s a good thing she didn’t! Pretty soon, the music ended and a weather report came on: there was a thunderstorm coming, and it would be accompanied by high winds!

Well, Lamar, Tommy, and Nancy knew what that meant—sand would be flying all over, stinging their soft bodies and sticking to them and making them uncomfortable. They decided it was time for them to find … homes.

You see, Hermit Crabs aren’t like snails or oysters or even Blue Crabs. They all grow their shells around their soft bodies. Their homes come to them naturally. Not so for Hermit Crabs. Hermit Crabs live in places that other occupants have left behind.

So our three soft-bodied friends had some searching to do!

Lamar was the first to find a home he thought was perfect: He found an empty paper cup that some careless tourist had left on the beach. Lamar crawled inside and waited for the storm.

When the winds and rain hit, Lamar discovered that a flimsy old paper cup was no shelter at all! The rain soaked right through it, and even sopping wet, the paper cup was so lightweight that the wind picked it up with Lamar inside, and carried it all the way down the beach! It bounced this way and that, and poor Lamar got motion sick and threw up! He did! Puked all over the inside of his not-so-safe new home.

E-yewww.

When the storm was over and Lamar was steady enough to look outside, he discovered that his paper cup had landed in Mr. Fussy’s front yard. Mr. Fussy didn’t like litter, and that paper cup looked more like litter than anything Mr. Fussy had seen in a long time!

So Mr. Fussy picked the paper cup up off his lawn and threw it in his trash can. And since it was trash day, it wasn’t long before a big, loud, lumbering garbage truck came up the street, and big, strong arms picked the trash can up and dumped it right into the back of the garbage truck!

The garbage truck collected a lot of garbage that day, and after he got out of his paper cup, Lamar spent HOURS climbing through all kinds of garbage just to stay on top of the heap.

All for nothing! Because when the garbage truck finally got to the city dump, it backed up to a big hole in the ground and tilted its bed up so far that Lamar and all the garbage went tumbling out! It took poor Lamar forever to crawl out of that mound of garbage and get back to the beach!

When he got there, he stared at the empty beach, worried that Tommy and Nancy had been caught in the storm.

He looked and looked, but there was no sign of either of them on the beach.

But wait! Was that Tommy’s voice? Lamar turned around and around, and finally caught sight of a big tin can turned upside down under a dumpster outside an Italian restaurant. “Over here,” said the tin can in a voice that sounded suspiciously like Tommy’s. “I’m here!”

Sure enough, the can (it used to hold diced tomatoes) wobbled and shifted, and finally tipped over, and Lamar could look right inside! When he did, he was looking right at Tommy!

“After you found your paper cup, I found this tin can,” said Tommy. “I crawled inside, and rocked back and forth till the can tipped over so I could roll it under this dumpster. The wind couldn’t get to me here, and the bits of tomato left inside were pretty tasty. You should move into a tin can,” Tommy advised Lamar. And that’s just what Lamar did.

Bad timing! A movie company had just come to town to film a movie about a tornado! They brought big machines that made a lot of noise and kicked up a lot of wind, and that movie-made wind was so strong that it blew those cans, with Tommy and Lamar inside, down the beach! Worse, it flung those cans toward a brick wall, and it was all poor Tommy and Lamar could do to jump out of those cans before the cans were CRUNCHED against the wall. Whew! Close call!

It took them a while, but Lamar and Tommy finally got back to the part of the beach where they’d started out, and they started looking for Nancy, but she was nowhere to be found.

They settled down to think how they could go about finding Nancy, and soon Lamar and Tommy heard a familiar call! Recognizing Nancy’s voice, they looked eagerly up and down the beach, but all they saw were some old sea shells that Lamar and Tommy guessed had been washed up on the beach by the storm.

But wait! Was that their friend Nancy waving a shapely crab leg at them from inside one of the biggest of the shells? It was!

Nancy had weathered the storm — and the movie’s wind machine — by bracing herself inside the smooth-walled shell that had been abandoned by its previous occupant.

Nancy’s new home was buoyant: the shell floated safely on the puddles of water left by the thunderstorm. It was aerodynamically sound: it rolled harmlessly along the beach when the movie company kicked up the wind and sand. What a GREAT new home! And it was RECYCLED!

Tommy and Lamar looked around the beach and found two more sea shells that were no longer occupied, and they moved right in.

Just in time, too, because a hurricane was on its way, and it was big and it was bad and it blew into town with a fury!

But Nancy and Tommy and Lamar, in their weather-worthy new homes, were bothered not a bit by that hurricane—or any of the other storms that that came along all season long.

And if you go to the beach this week-end, you’ll probably see all three of them walking happily along the shoreline, carrying their fine, recycled homes with them!

BOOKED! My friend Marilyn J. Wolf wrote this book a couple of years ago. Do check it out! The link goes to Amazon.SYNOPS...
02/17/2020
In Celebration of the Death of Faeries

BOOKED! My friend Marilyn J. Wolf wrote this book a couple of years ago. Do check it out! The link goes to Amazon.

SYNOPSIS: Life has a way of giving us the lessons we need to learn. Some of our lessons come by choice, some by circumstance. The story in this book is a combination of both.

https://www.amazon.com/Celebration-Death-Faeries-Marilyn-Wolf/dp/0998916013/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=in%20celebration%20of%20the%20death%20of%20faeries&qid=1579648118&s=books&sr=1-1&fbclid=IwAR37JRLiQfzC3LweB3XW_hvml8Ma5c0zS8iJmkfJwjuOSnNfzSaqgKP0qoU

Life has a way of giving us the lessons we need to learn. Some of our lessons come by choice, some by circumstance. The story in this book is a combination of both.

STORY EVENT: Possum Town Tales Storytelling Festival in Columbus, Mississippi.
02/05/2020

STORY EVENT: Possum Town Tales Storytelling Festival in Columbus, Mississippi.

02/03/2020

SUCCESS STORY! Last week, I had the pleasure of telling stories to the members of the Friends of the Charles E. Fendig Library in Tampa for their Annual Tea. It was a 20-minute program, and I got to tell THREE of my original tales: The Three Hermit Crabs, How the Wind Came to Live in the Haunted House, and (the story that started it all) Sal's Balloon Adventure. People LAUGHED in all the right places, and after the meeting people lingered to thank me and say how much they enjoyed the program. Doesn't get much better than that!

02/02/2020

Found this gem thanks to Diane Edgecomb:

“Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work; a future.” ~ Poet and philosopher David Whyte

01/26/2020
Photos from BAPWG's post
01/04/2020

Photos from BAPWG's post

STORY EVENT: TMy storytelling friend Carrie Sue Ayvar is coming to town! What a talented storyteller she is!
01/04/2020

STORY EVENT: TMy storytelling friend Carrie Sue Ayvar is coming to town! What a talented storyteller she is!

STORY EVENT: I've heard Andy Offutt Irwin at the National Storytelling Festival, the Florida Storytelling Festival, and ...
01/04/2020

STORY EVENT: I've heard Andy Offutt Irwin at the National Storytelling Festival, the Florida Storytelling Festival, and in several intimate concert venues. I can't wait to hear his newest material!

Storyteller, humorist, arts educator, Shakespearean actor ... the descriptions go on and on for talented Andy Offutt Irwin, coming to Dunedin on January 12!

01/04/2020

My storytelling friend Carrie Sue Ayvar will be at Heritage Village on January 19. If you've never heard this so-talented lady in performance, you HAVE to turn out for this program! If you HAVE heard/seen her, you already know you want to be there!

12/31/2019

"There are no words
For an old year that ends,
Even as a new one trembles to begin.

No words
For doors that swing wide
Even as we hesitate, swaying on the threshold."

Here's to a confident step across the threshold into 2020.

12/30/2019

I really hope my writings and storytelling can help stop this "theft." I'm neither "hawk" nor "dove." Just someone who wants a safe, sane, serene world. Sometimes, that means we need to take up arms. But we should remember this, too:

"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."

Who said it? General, statesman, and former Preident Dwight D. Eisenhower.

11/26/2019
10/30/2019
10/30/2019

💀😂

10/28/2019

Help and support your fellow musicians when and where you can, as none of us succeeds alone out there!! :-D (y)

10/28/2019

Thanks for sharing this, Gloria S. Holloway!
10/23/2019

Thanks for sharing this, Gloria S. Holloway!

Check this out! My friend Linda Schuyler Ford has a so-cool program coming up in October!
09/23/2019
JeffCo Ghost Tour 0919

Check this out! My friend Linda Schuyler Ford has a so-cool program coming up in October!

09/20/2019

BOOKED! I'll be telling stories at the Charles J. Fendig Library at the annual tea for the Friends of the Library in January! And the selection committee picked two of my ORIGINALS to be the anchor stories! So excited!
https://hcplc.org/locations/charles-j-fendig

08/28/2019

Our own Maureen Belote appears at the Dunedin Public Library!

08/26/2019

😥💞

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Pinellas Park, FL

Telephone

727-647-8057

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