Making Room For Hope

10/10/2026

10/10/2026

I'm the one

It is me

And as I look back
I wasn't alone,

However;
What I didn't say
And
What I overexplained
Nothing mattered at all.

Whatever success was

It may have been a shadow
that hung over my door

But it wasn't the thing I
wanted to adorn myself
with or adore.

I never wanted a career to
overshadow my “home” life.

I wanted “home”
to be the meal;

not the win,
not the picture,
but the “place”

where life was found
not a hiding place

A landing place that
wraps around you.

Not things,
Not a contest

Those “things” aren't me

I knew I wouldn't be right
all the time.
I knew I wouldn't be wrong
all the time.

I wanted to be a team
I didn't want to be the
main event.

And all my talking,
And all my explaining…..

Somehow my love
was not enough
for you to know
I was always on your side

In the end you were trying to build castles and I was just
standing by
to help
when you needed me

But you never did

I held a frame trying to
explain the picture and
why it looked the way it
did.

I was trying to wrap
everything in love like a
kid.

Ah it was a good, solid dream

Until somehow trying to
protect you

I became the fiend.

And no matter
what I said
or did
I became an enemy

Left out in the cold
Still literally unable to swim

But still thrown into an empty moat.

10/01/2026

One Last Time

All the questions,
like pouring rain,
like wax melting
and putting out
the flame.

All my good intentions
and a tendered heart
have flatlined
in pain.

This is life as I have
known it.
But it isn't over.

There is a spark yet
hidden.
Stubborn damn spark.

Fair to middling.

The light is on
as I
continue life
and the
travel home.

Time has caught up to me,
and I'm older than I ever
thought I'd be.

Revive me, O Lord.
Help me uncover some
more Joy that only You can bring.

Remind me of the child in me
who never ages,
whose heart still hears songs in the wind
as her sailboat is untethered
one last time,
one last love
to stretch across time.

Will the wind be with her?

I hope so.
I really hope so.

One last time.

09/26/2026

I keep trying to tell God that I’m in this alone, even though somewhere deep inside, I know He is guiding me.

Sometimes I tell Him I’m not wanted here.

And sometimes, just when I think I’m ready to walk away from love altogether, something brings me back to it.

Not necessarily to a person, but to the question of what love is supposed to be.

I tell God, “Maybe this just isn’t meant for me.”

And sometimes I wonder if He is trying to teach me something I thought I already understood.

Because I know love. I’ve felt it. I’ve given it. I’ve lost it. And I’m still learning what it means.

Maybe love isn’t always about being chosen.

Maybe I don’t have to prove myself, impress anyone, become what somebody needs, or earn a place in someone’s life in order for what I feel to be real.

Maybe some love simply teaches us how deeply we are capable of caring.

And I’m learning to be okay with that.

I can love someone and still let them be free.

I can want good things for another person even when those good things may have nothing to do with me.

I can remain in someone’s corner without believing that corner belongs to me.

Maybe that is one of the purest forms of love:

loving without possession,
wanting the best for someone without requiring a place in the outcome,

and trusting God enough to let love be what it is without forcing it to become something else.

And maybe love that doesn’t become what I once hoped for isn’t necessarily love that was wasted.

Sometimes love changes the person who carries it. 🌸